You are Garfield, the world’s laziest cat. You’re so lazy that you slept for an entire month. After finally waking up, you realize that you’ve gained over fifty pounds. You wonder how this is possible, until Jon explains to you that you were eating in your sleep. At first, you’re impressed with yourself, until you…
Episode 259 StoryYou are the Turkinator, a cyborg avian programmed to exact revenge on the human race. Your first target is the leading manufacturer of turkey’s Tom Tuckers. This is a mission with every Turkey’s life on the line. “Tom Tuckers? That guy who was trying to get me to join his company?” you say. “I don’t…
Episode 252 StoryYou are Henry Enchilada, an enthusiast of corn-based food living in Iowa. No Nacho November has begun! You have vowed that, for the entire month of November, you will not eat any nachos. This is very difficult for you, because nachos are your favorite food! Temptation comes from all over as you browse the internet…
Episode 228 StoryYou are Arson Welles, famous actor and pyromaniac. You have a great idea for a spooky radio show. On Halloween night, you begin broadcasting pretend reports of people spontaneously combusting all over the United States. You even have a few people “call in” to the show to share the terrifying things they’ve witnessed. To your…
Episode 226 StoryYou are Mr. Appetite, a fast-food manager. One afternoon, your stomach is growling, so you go into the kitchen where you see dozens of employees preparing dozens of meals. You are so hungry that you start grabbing the meals and start eating them. One of the employees says, “The food’s for the customers.” You reply,…
Episode 209 Story