You are Zed, the Zombie.

Posted under Story On By Chief

You are Zed, the Zombie. You are trying to kill the God of Destruction, but he keeps killing you. You reincarnate once again in a world of
 your own making.

And then the unthinkable happens. The Gods decide to end their eternal war. They don't even bother with sending an army, they just wish it to be a "friendly" battle for all eternity. And so the Eternal War begins.

The story can be played either as a single player or in co-op mode.
 You challenge God to a game of Sock Em' boppers.
 If he wins, he has to kill you, otherwise the other one does. (The winner takes everything) If the other guy wins, he gets to keep his head and he has to kill you, otherwise the first guy gets to keep his head.

The more people play, the more it becomes apparent that there is no way to win unless you kill yourself at some point.
 Call the gods out on their unfair game and punch one of them in the dick with a fist of laser piss

The only thing is, if you're really lucky, you might manage to take out both of them at once, but you're not counting on that.

The second you lose, you are sent back to hell. You are not allowed to have anything to do with any of your previous incarnations.
 You begin bopping the god but he bops at a much faster rate. Soon enough you get bopped right in the bod and you fall to your knees, in pain. The onlooking gods begin laughing. A dark portal to hell opens and satan walks out. He holds out a hand. "Come"
 You take the hand.

You begin to walk through the darkness, and soon you are in hell. There is a garden with many flowers, trees, waterfalls and whatnot. It is paradise.

"Welcome to my realm", Satan says, "I am the master of this hell."

He walks over to a large black rock.
 ask satan if he knows what Uma Musume Pretty Derby is
 . "I'm sorry brother, I do not know the meaning of the word".

"You will have to learn that word for me."

"I'm not sure how I'm going to learn it."

"You will learn it, because that's what she wants you to do."

Satan walks over to another black rock.