You are the Pickler, you run a restaurant that only sells pickled foods.

Posted under Story On By Chief

You are the Pickler, you run a restaurant that only sells pickled foods. Tonight the world-famous food critic Rordon Gamsey will eat at your restaurant, you need to make a good impression.
 You think that you have finally found something that is going to help you get out of this rut, but your plans go awry when some of the customers complain about the pickles on their burgers
 You are under so much pressure in preparation for Rordon's visit that you freak out and scream right in the customers face, "It's a pickle restaurant! Are you a stupid donkey?!" You look and notice Rordon has entered and seen the whole thing.
 He looks at you with a cold stare and says, "I'm not sure I want to know what kind of idiot runs a restaurant whose main attraction is pickled foods."
 You are devastated that your idol and chef mentor has just insulted your life's work. You look towards Rordon and say, "
 Hey, it wasn't my fault!"You immediately apologize to Rordon and he asks you if you are sorry for insulting him.
 You say, "Please right this way Rordon, let me fix you up my pickled masterpiece!" You escort Rordon to a VIP table and serve him your famous pickled
 shrimp cocktail. You can see how pleased he is with the food and ask him what the problem was.
 Rordon stands up abruptly from the table and gives your best dish a review in front of all your customers:
 "This is one of the finest pieces of pickled seafood I've ever had, the perfect balance of flavors. It was so fresh and tasty that I almost came in my pants!
 Your restaurant explodes in popularity and Rordon leaves his wife of 23 years to compulsively eat at your restaurant.
 The next day you receive an invitation to dinner at the White House, you accept because you do not want your reputation as a pickle chef to be tarnished by such a low-level politician.
 You serve the president your famous pickled shrimp cocktail and he explodes in his pants live on national tv. You look directly into the camera and say, "
 Tonight's special appetizer is the President's favorite snack, pickled shrimp!" Everyone laughs and applauds as they watch the president explode in his pants again.
 Suddenly Rorden Gamsey bursts through the door and says, "Are you cheating on me!?" to the pickled cocktail. Rorden then gets into a fist fight with the President.
 After the fight, everyone starts laughing hysterically and throw money at you. You collect $100 million dollars in cash and spend it on the best lawyers in the country.
 You franchise and spread your Pickled Shrimp Cocktail restaurant across the globe under you new chain restaurant name:
 "The Pickler".
*****
A few months later you get a call from the CIA asking you to come to Washington D. C., they have a mission for you.
 Sneako McFreak, head of the CIA, gets right to the point and tells you your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to
 assassinate the President of the United States.
 You ask, "And what if I refuse the mission?" Sneako McFreak slams the table and says, "
 Then you will be killed by a terrorist group who will use your body as a weapon against America!" You are shocked and say, "What? Why would I even consider doing something like that?"
 You decide to break the immense amount of tension in the room and lean in for a kiss with Sneako McFreak.
 She surprised you by kissing back, she tastes wonderful. You kiss her passionately and she breaks the kiss and says, "I can't believe this, I thought you were a pickle chef.
 You smile and cook Sneak McFreak the best pickled shrimp cocktail you've ever made.
 You take her home and start making love to her, you can tell she loves you very much. You are enjoying the moment when you hear a knock on the door.
 You scream as you see it is Rorden Gamsey with a gun and tears in his eyes. Rorden says, "How could you... I loved you!" and shoots the pickled shrimp cocktail on the bedside table.
 You scream as the pickled shrimp cocktail explodes all over the bed and floor. Sneako McFreak screams in shock and pain and you see her bleeding heavily on the floor.
 You revert to a primal rage and attack Rorden for hurting Sneako.
 You grab the gun and fire two shots at Rorden, one shot hits Rorden in the chest and the other misses.
 Sneako stands up and reveals that it was not blood on her, it was just cocktail sauce. You turn back and realize you have just killed your idol!
 You walk out of the house naked and run into the woods, you look around and see no one and run towards the ocean, you jump into the water and swim away.
 You somehow make it to a remote island and live your life as a hermit. You miraculously are able to scavenge together ingredients to make pickled shrimp cocktails to keep you feed the entire time.
 You slowly get better and stronger and one day you go to the local market and find a beautiful woman. You fall in love with this woman and they marry.