You are Leroy Brown, a regular guy. as you are walking down the street, you see a loose dog running around. You do catch the dog and lick it's fur over and over
. You then take the dog home and give it a bath. When you are done with your chores, you go to bed.
You name the dog after your favorite thing in the whole world:
"Puppy"
You wake up one morning to find that you have been given a new job: you are now an assistant janitor at your school!
You bring puppy with you to your first day of work and meet Principal Borkowitz.
He is an old ladies principal who still remembers when she last had a real boyfriend.
"Well? Are you ready for this?" he asks you.
You are suprised to see the school mostly empty except for a lone old woman. Principal Borkowitz explains that this is a school for old women that want to learn, however there is only 1 student currently and she makes a big mess every day. You are going to have your hands full today! The old lady knocks over her prune juice. It begins.
"Oh my! I hope it doesn't spill! It is so hard to pick up the things from the floor!" She says and starts picking up her prunes.
You try to help, but she slaps your mop away. You notice that her "help" is only making the mess bigger. She slips and says, "Ow my back!"
You don't know what to do. "Agh! My neck! Please stop!"
You quickly pick her up and put her in the "chair". You throw the chair on her.
The "chair" is an invention of yours - it is a wheelchair combined with a straight jacket. You make sure the old lady is secure and then wheel her old ass to class.
The poor girl sits in her seat and stares at her shoes. The teacher begins to lecture about math and she looks like she is having a panic attack. "Let me out!
You put on headphones and drown out her screaming. Since the source of the mess is restrained, you decide to take a nap in the Janitor's closet. You are sprung awake by a loud noise, you rush to the cafeteria to see the old lady has
fallen and broke her neck.
Principal Borkowitz is inconsolable. He blames you for killing his old lady. She was actually a good girl and you killed her.
Then you hear a whimper; the old lady is still alive! You have to act fast and you think of another invention you have created to help save her life:
you have made a protective armor for her. It is made out of thick metal and it protects the old lady while she is in the classroom.
Principal Borkowitz says, "You invented this? Looks an awful lot like an iron maiden..." You test it's protective abilities by whacking it with your broom as hard as you can.
It doesn't break! The old lady is safe! There is no longer any need for your old ladies to worry about her prunes!
It's the end of your first day. You clock out and Borkowitz says, "Thanks Leroy!" The old lady falls out of the iron maiden and slumps to the ground. An ambulence comes to pick her up, but while on the stretcher she has some parting words for you:
"You're fired."
You are devastated and cry. "I can't believe this! I'm not even a janitor! My first job was inventing something!"
Related