You are Leafblower-Man, your arms are leaf blowers.

Posted under Story On By Chief

You are Leafblower-Man, your arms are leaf blowers. You are a gardener by day and monster hunter by night. You enter the abandoned amusement park, where you believe an evil witch is hiding.
 The amusement park was built before the Great War, when monsters were the size of cars.
 You hear the witch's cackle and see she is created her lair inside the haunted house which has a giant cartoon-
ish spider on top.
"That's not a spider," you say to yourself as you walk through the house. "It looks more like a puppet."
 The witch hears you bitching about semantics and casts a spell to make the cartoon spider become real and attack you!
 She grabs you with the Spider webbing and pulls you into the house.
"I'm going to get you, Leafblower-man!" she says in her best evil witch voice.
 You use your leafblower to blow a gust of wind right in the witch's face.
 She screams like a banshee and flies back out of the house. As soon as she leaves, the spider appears and attacks you. It slams its head against the wall and bites your hand.
 The spider tries and tries, but it cannot sink it's teeth into your hard plastic leafblower hands.  You become friends with the spider because it is so cute and you name it
As you enter the house, you find a room full of old toys. A toy train is sitting in one corner with some old wooden track pieces still attached to it.
 You and Spagetti-Man play with the toys and actually find you have a lot in common.  The witch returns and is disappointed that her creation has not killed you, yet.  You convince the witch to hang out and play trains for while.  She begrudgingly agrees.
 "So what do you want to do now?" she asks you.
"Well I was thinking we could go to the carnival," you reply.
"The carnival?
 You lean in for a kiss with
 the witch." You kiss her and she smiles.
"Oh come on, Leafblower-man. You know how much fun we had at the last carnival," she says.
 Then you remember that the witch tried to kill you and you are on a mission to hunt her down.  You tell the witch she has a price on her head and that you are here to collect.
 "Hahaha," she laughs. "You think you can collect me? You don't even have my clothes!"
"I'll take them from you later," you say.
 You see the witch disrobe and you see she is covered in runes on her skin.  You notice a run light up on her chest and say, "What's that run for?"
 "It's a rune that will allow me to control the spiders in this house," she explains.
 You watch as Spaghetti-man's eyes go red and fall under the witches control.  You steal the witches spell book and run deep into the haunted house and hide.
 "I got her," you say to yourself. You climb out of the window and grab the witch. She is so heavy! You put her in your trunk and drive off.
 You drive all the way to the man the hired you to catch the witch:
 The King of the Monsters.
"Where is she?" he asks.
"She's in my trunk," you reply.
"Well, well," he says.
 The King of Monsters gives you what you bargained for:
 $5000. He says you should give him a call when you get home. "But first," the king says, "I need to ask you something."
 You ask, "What is it?"
 "Do you have any idea who I am?"
"No, I don't."
"I'm the King of the Monsters!" he says.
 You reveal your troubled past to The King of Monsters:
 you were a gardener by day and a monster hunter by night. He laughs and says, "Well, that explains why you are so good at gardening."
 The end. 
A few weeks after the story ended, I got a phone call from the King of the Monsters. "Hey, Leafblower-man," he said. "I owe you one."