You are Jason, a guy who has decided to share a room with a guy named Darryl in order to save money.

Posted under Story On By Chief

You are Jason, a guy who has decided to share a room with a guy named Darryl in order to save money. One night, you and Darryl are laying down in bed. You try to get a good night's sleep, but Darryl keeps tossing and turning. You're so mad at Darryl that you start assaulting him with pillows. Darryl keeps tossing and turning, so you wrap a blanket around his neck and use the blanket to choke him.
 He lets out a gurgling scream, and as a result of your actions, he dies.
 You drag Darryl's body into your car and just drive. You have to find a way to get rid of this.
 You pull over and call 911. "911, what is your emergency?"
"I need police help. My friend is being assaulted. I don't know why."
 Suddenly an F4 tornado lands right next to your Mazda.
 "HELP! HELP! MY FRIEND IS BEING ATTACKED BY A COCKTAIL DRINKER!" The operator says.
"What the fuck?
 You look into the tornado and see a beautiful women drinking a cocktail grabbing onto Darryl's lifeless corpse for her life. You lean in for a kiss.
 But she sees you and screams, "Don't fucking touch me, asshole!" She stabs you in the chest and throws you into the front passenger seat. She then drives off.
 Luckily the tornado follows her. The police show up and see you and Darryl and take you to hospital.
 You pass out from blood loss. When you wake up, you are in court. The judge asks, "What happened?"
"I killed my best friend." You answer.
"What?"
 You reveal your troubled past to the court.
 "My father was a drunkard who beat me and my sister and tried to drown us in a pond on Christmas eve.
 The jury is in tears over your story. The judge says, "DAYUM!" The jury deliberates and comes back with the verdict:
 murder in the first degree. You are sentenced to death. The judge then tells you, "Your execution will take place in ten minutes." 
"What?" You ask.
 You are strapped to a chair in the middle of a field in the direct path of another tornado. You say your final words before the tornado gobbles you up:
 "FUCK YOU!" Then the twister cuts your body in half and the earth swallows you whole.
  
A year passes...
You are a free man.
 You join the circus as "Torso Man" and become the top attraction. You never tell anyone about your past ever again and use your money to do something in memory of Darryl:
 you rent a small trailer and live alone for a while. You let your wife go and move in with some friends of hers. She leaves you. You have children. They stay with their grandmother.

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