You are Fred Rico and you throw a knife at the sun with cursed demon arm.

Posted under Story On By Chief

You are Fred Rico and you throw a knife at the sun with cursed demon arm.
 You roll 1d10 and it is a critical hit, dealing 12 damage to the sun.
 You have destroyed the Sun and now must prepare for the infinite winter to come.
 "One of these days I'll get a decent weapon." Your mother says as she walks in.
"Oh shit mom! What's going on?"
 You try to hide it, but your Mom looks up and instantly knows wha happened.  Your Mom scolds you for destroying the Sun and takes you to demon church to confess your sins.  At Demon Church the pastor says there is only one thing that can save use now, summoning another Son from Hell!
 The priest says his name is Johnathan and he will not be long.  When he comes he says, "I am here to summon your Son.
 You complete the summoning ritual and Jonathan rises into the sky to take the old Sun's place.  Jonathan is exactly like the old Sun... except Jonathan constantly screams in pain.
 He also has a very small penis."
"What do we do now?" You ask.
 People around the world begin to go blind because they are starring at Jonathan.
 "We wait until he dies of natural causes or you find someone else who can summon him." The priest says.
"Why did the old Suns die?" You ask.
 You level up and gain the following demon summoning ability:
 You can command any living creature to obey you. They will do anything if you say so.
"Well we know why the old Suns died now.
 You use your new ability to command Jonathan to return to the void in space where the Sun used to be, be quiet, and wear some damn pants.  Jonathan complies and the world thanks you.
 "And what about me? Will I become a demon too?" You ask. "No, you will stay human for now." The priest says.
 You lean in for a kiss.
 Your Mom stops you. "Fred, I want you to know that I'm proud of you.