You are Bill, the plumber. One day on a call, you realize this was not an ordinary plumbing job. This is the set of a porno! You hesitate but decide to
go with it. You throw down the phone and start stripping off your clothes.
The doorbell rings. "I'm sorry, I'm not here right now.
But they they are persistent! You get up an answer the door to see your it's your wife! This was a sting operation to see if you would cheat! The cameras come out and the host of Cheaters says, "Well, look what we have here. Feeling pretty bad aren't we?"
" Yeah, we've been married a long time. I think I'm too old for her."
The next day you are fired from your job. Your wife has thrown all your stuff on the front lawn. You spend the night at a holiday inn and question your choices from yesterday.
You are in a state of shock. You are no longer a plumber, you are Bill, the porn actor.
Porno directors are shocked at your level of plumbing knowledge. Porno actresses are impressed by your... tools. You quickly become a rising star in the porn industry and earn the nickname:
Mr. Clean! You are put on a hit list and other actors are targeted. You find yourself in the middle of a shoot that goes horribly wrong. All the other stars are killed except you.
You manage to hide in the water closet. You find out the hitmen worked for the Catholic church. You find out a Deacon has deemed your behavior to be Satanic and the work of the devil. You will make him pay dearly for this!
The book of Revelation tells us that the third angel blows his trumpet and a great sign appears in heaven which reads: "This is the sign of the end of the age."
You decide to wage war on the Catholic church.
You plan a conspiracy to kill every priest in the city and then YOU will take over. This will be the beginning of the new world order.
You defeat the Catholic church, but in turn you accidentally create your own religion:
The Church of Bill the Plumber! In fact you create an entire new religion! The Eternals.
You have created the perfect criminal organization.
You create your list of 10 things to not doo doo:
1. Never have sex with a prostitute.
2. Don't cheat on your wife.
3. Don't kill your wife.
4. Avoid drugs.
5. All reality tv sting operation shows are banned. 6. Wives must give all husbands at least 1 second chance if caught cheating. 7.
No more than 2 wives allowed. 8. If you are ever busted, never talk about it before you leave. 9. There must be an unlimited supply of guns in the house. 10.
Have fun! The public reacts strongly to these 10 doo doos. You watch the national news respond to your list:
1. A woman has been arrested for having illegal sex with a police officer. 2. A couple of men have been arrested for having illegal sex with a stripper. 3.
You turn off the news and head for your window to look out on a world that follows Bill's doo doos. You smile. Suddenly a bullet comes through the windows, you have just been assassinated by
the Vatican! You are dead!
You have just begun the final battle. (It really could go either way. Good luck!)
You awaken to the ringing of the phone.
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