You are Bear Kills, a celebrity survivalist and serial killer.

Posted under Story On By Chief

You are Bear Kills, a celebrity survivalist and serial killer. Today, your camera crew follows close behind as you negotiate dense jungle terrain. Your goal is the lost village of Lastgirlia. Once there, you will attempt to murder its entire population.
 The camera crew has been granted access to follow you for the duration of your journey. Any questions?
 You turn to camera and give some facts about Lastgirlia:
 It is an isolated village on the coast of South America. Its inhabitants have lived in the area for generations. They speak a primitive language that can only be understood by each other.
 You ask look around and eventually find someone who speaks and understand english. Her name is Barbara and she tells you this village is made solely of slasher victims that all happen to be women. You lean in for a kiss.
 She hesitates but then kisses you back.
"I'm not sure what I expected." You say with a smile. "But it's definitely not this."
 You find out where all the final girls are hiding and then when night falls you begin to hunt. Barbara catches you leaving your room, sees your knife and hockey mask, and asks you what is going on. You reveal your troubled past to Barbara.
 She sits down next to you and says she understands why you are here. But she also wants to know if you'll kill her too.
"No way!" You say with a laugh.
 Barbara looks down and sees you have just stabbed her. You say, "I lied!" and leave the cabin to find the rest of the girls.
 The day goes by quickly and soon enough you hear the sound of splashing water. You have found the final girl! As you approach her, you see she is naked.
 You wait for her to leave the water and then you strike!
 You stab her in the chest and then in the neck. She screams and drops into the water, dying instantly. You move closer to the edge of the water and then pull yourself up.
 You are shocked when you see the body has disappeared! She didn't die and now must be somewhere under the water. You feel a tug on your legs and are dragged under the lake.
 You finally reach the bottom and look around. You see nothing. No one. You search the shoreline but find nothing. You get up and crawl away from the lake.
 All the girls in the village are gone, too. You attempt to leave the jungle and return home, but the one rope bridge into the village has been cut. You and the camera crew are trapped in Lastgirlia! You return to the cabin and try to sleep, but you hear the cackling of women outside. You leap out of your bed and head outside to see
 who it is. You see a group of young women standing around and laughing. You run towards them and they chase you. You find yourself pinned against a tree and the young women surround you.
 Barbara approaches. But how, you killed her!? Barbara tells you that the girls of Lastgirlia are immortal! You notice all the girls have fancy knives and forks, they are planning to eat you!
 You look around and see no one else around. You see a large stone and use it to smash the girls' heads together. You hear them scream as their brains are splattered across the ground.
 You use the large stone to grind up their bodies and make a large batch of chili for you and the camera crew. The girls might be immortal, but they are going to have a hell of a time coming back to life from this... or so you think. The girls begin to revive in your stomach and their hunks of flesh beat up your insides. Your guts are going nuts!
 You never tried anything like this before! But you don't care because you are stuffed full of all the girls you can eat! You start to laugh uncontrollably and the girls join in.
 The moral of the story:
 Nothing is ever easy!
The End
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