EXT. AIPD Office in Maine A noise complaint that turns out to be a threat: "I'm going to kill you, asshole." The phone call is traced back to the office of a lawyer named David Harstein. This is the first time we've seen him, but he's been on our radar for some time now. MULDER David Hartstein is notoriously anti x-files. SCULLY Mr Harstein is just covering up for Jason, head of the AIPD. MULDER Yes... Jason has been stealing alien Technology. He and his men have been using it to develop new weapons. I'm trying to stop him before he can use them against us. HARTSTEIN You're wasting your time. You'll never get any evidence from me. Mulder looks down at the desk and sees all of the evidence he needs splayed out on Mr Harstein's desk: photographs, diagrams, blueprints. MULDER What is this? HARTSTEIN A plan for a new weapon system. MULDER New weapons are not what we need right now. HARTSTEIN Mulder, we used to think that your cat was eaten by Alf. However, Alf was taking the blame for Jason. Jason ate your cat! MULDER That's not possible. It couldn't be. HARTSTEIN Jason has taken over the AIPD. He's using it as a front for his operations. SCULLY secretly takes photographs of all of the evidence. Scully and Mulder leave the office. INT. ALL YOU CAN EAT CRAB RESTAURANT Mulder and Scully are looking over all of the photos and shocked to see all of the nefarious plans Jason and the boys at AIPD are plotting. SCULLY They're planning to make an alien weapon. MULDER An alien weapon? SCULLY It's a spaceship. They want to build a giant ship that will fly through space. MULDER Jason hates Birthdays, surely that's another Felony. SCULLY He doesn't hate birthdays. He loves birthdays. He wants to blow up the White House and kill everyone in it. MULDER Why would he do that? SCULLY He thinks we're going to invade Earth. That's why he wants a spaceship. To attack us. MULDER We have to tell Skinner. SCULLY Yeah, right. Mulder and Scully get up and walking into the kitchen of the seafood restaurant. The talk to the Head Chef Skinner. SKINNER How was the crab special? (wink) SCULLY The crab special was great. SKINNER Then you should order it again. SCULLY I'm sure I will. Mulder is very suspicious of Skinner. Mulder notices that Skinner appears to have a strange crab like body. MULDER Do you have a body like that? SKINNER No. But my mother did. MULDER Your mother had a crab-like body? SKINNER My father says she was a mermaid. Scully tells Skinner that his mother was part of a top secret AIPD project cross humans and crabs to create the ultimate super solider perfect for naval combat. SCULLY She was a prototype. SKINNER What happened to her? SCULLY They lost her when she fell off the boat. SKINNER That's too bad. The floor begins to shake and bursting into the room comes Skinner's Mom would has the top half body of a crab and the lower half body of a human woman. SKINNER'S MOM (speaking with a crab voice) Hello, Mulder. MULDER What are you doing here? SKINNER This is my mom. She died in a freak accident. MULDER I'm sorry to hear that. SKINNER Thanks. MULDER Is there anything I can do? SKINNER Yeah. SKINNER'S MOM You can help me by getting revenge on the Jason from AIPD. SCULLY Revenge isn't exactly out business. MULDER But we'll do it anyway! INT. AIPD HQ - Jason's Office Jason is busy working on a computer screen when Mulder walks in. JASON (looking at the screen) Aha! Mulder grabs the laptop and throws it across the room. JASON Hey! Mulder is furious and punches Jason in the face. JASON What are you doing? Mulder pulls out his gun and points it at Jason. MULDER Don't move. I'll shoot if you do. Jason stops moving. I know what you've been doing with AIPD. You've been stealing technology and developing new weapons. JASON Yes, that is what we do here at AIPD. Do you know what AIPD stands for? AIPD: Advanced Intelligent Projection Device. MULDER Advanced Intelligence Projection Device? What does that mean? JASON It means we're smarter than you. MULDER You're lying. Skinner's Mom charges into the room with Scully and Skinner. SKINNER'S MOM (speaking with a crab voice) Mulder, you're not going to believe this. MULDER Mulder, put down the gun. SKINNER'S MOM (speaking with a crab voice) We're the ones who developed the technology to turn people into aliens. MULDER What? JASON And we're the ones who developed the technology to turn aliens into humans. MULDER You're crazy. JASON But we're not. We have the cure. MULDER You don't understand. This isn't a disease. It's a conspiracy. Jason hands Skinner's Mom the cure, but Mulder shoots it out of her crab claws. MULDER No! Skinner's Mom turns into a normal human woman and dies. MULDER We can't let them get away with this. JASON Yes, we can. Jason hits a big red button on his desk that says "Emergency Shutdown." MULDER No! The lights go out and Mulder runs to the door and tries to open it. He is stopped by Jason and the rest of AIPD staff. JASON You are not going to escape so easily! Mulder looks around the room and sees all the AIPD scientists frozen in time. They are now trapped in the same position they were in when the power went out. MULDER Why are you doing this? JASON To save humanity. MULDER From what? JASON From itself. MULDER What does that mean? JASON The world is changing. The room begins to fill with salty ocean water. Jason takes out a vial and turns himself into a crab man. JASON The oceans are rising. MULDER What does that mean? JASON Our planet is drowning. MULDER How do you know this? JASON I have seen it. MULDER Who are you? JASON I am your worst nightmare. MULDER Where did you come from? JASON From where we came from. Jason hits another button and the floor of his office disappears. Mulder, Scully, and Skinner try to swim to various floating furniture in the room. MULDER Where are we? JASON Into the heart of our future. MULDER What do you mean? JASON We're going to change everything. Jason hits a third and final button that drops hot butter from the ceiling. JASON All you can eat crab fest with butter raining like waterfalls! MULDER What do you mean? JASON This is the beginning of a new age. Mulder, Scully, and Skinner reach the top of the floating furniture and look up. They see the floor of Jason's office above them. SCULLY (shouting) Mulder, look! MULDER (shouting) Scully, I'm looking! Everyone looks up and notices Jason standing on the ceiling of his office. JASON Welcome to the new age. He pushes a button and the three float up to him. JASON Let's begin. Jason pulls out a giant syringe. JASON Time to start our experiment. Jason injects the syring into Scully and Scully beg in s to transform into a crab woman. JASON I am so glad we have found each other. Scully turns into a crab woman and Mulder is stunned. MULDER (whispering) Is that really Scully? SKINNER Yes, I know because my mother was a crab woman and you can just tell. MULDER She's beautiful. JASON Beautiful? MULDER She's beautiful. JASON Then why don't you touch her? MULDER Gladly! Mulder reaches out and rubs butter on Scully's crab body. SCULLY Ooooh! Mulder's fingers feel warm and wet. JASON Not so fast. JASON removes the butter from Scully's body. JASON Now you must choose. MULDER Choose? JASON Yes. You will either be part of our new world or you will die. MULDER What do you mean? JASON If you want to live, you must turn yourself into a crab. Mulder stares at the syringe for a while before he finally answers. MULDER No. JASON It's the only way. MULDER No. JASON You cannot survive here. MULDER No. Mulder shoots the syringe filled with crab mutagen and it splashes all over Skinner. Mulder swims out of the AIPD HQ. MULDER (to himself) No, no, no. Skinner grabs the syringe and throws it back in. He dives after Mulder and catches him. SKINNER (shouting) We're not done yet! MULDER (screaming) No! SKINNER (shouting) We're not finished! Mulder tries to fight off Skinner but he's too weak. Skinner gets some good crab swipes and pokes in. Mulder needs something big... then he notices on the wall is a giant crab spear. Mulder grabs the spear off the wall and stabs Skinner. MULDER (with a triumphant smile) Yes! Skinner floats away, dead. MULDER (smiling) I did it. The screen goes black and we hear an explosion. The screen fades back in and we see an ad for the rebranded seafood restaurant that says: "Warm and fresh." *** In the dark, we see a man and a woman standing on a dock. It's night and the moon is full. The man is dressed as a monk and the woman is wearing a white dress. MAN My name is Brother Richard. WOMAN And I'm Sister Mary. They stand next to a small boat. RICHARD We're happy to have you aboard. SISTER MARY Thank you. RICHARD May God bless you. Sister Mary steps onto the boat and it sets sail. RICHARD I love the ocean. SISTER MARY I do too. RICHARD It's like a blanket. SISTER MARY Like a blanket. RICHARD I never thought I would find someone who understood me. RICHARD and SISTER MARY make sweet love on a boat while eating crab and tilapia disgustingly. RICHARD (whispering) This is paradise. SISTER MARY (whispering) Paradise. RICHARD (whispering) I could stay here forever.