Walter Pickler, a space farmer that grows apples on an outpost of mars

Posted under Episode 132, Story On By Chief

One day, Elon Musk finally shows up with his exploration team and tries to claim your orchards in the name of science.

> You fight back! You have no idea what's going on here... but you need to do something about it! You quickly grab a few apples from one of the trees and throw them at him. He catches most of them, but he doesn't catch all of them.

Elon taunts you and dares you to throw an apple at his space rover window. He tells you the glass is shatterproof. You throw an apple and shatter the window. Elon is very embarrassed and angry. He says...

"You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and destroy this entire planet".

You say "You know what!? You're a bitch!" and you throw an apple so hard it knocks Elon's head off. (You used to play baseball in Mars highschool.).

He laughs when he sees that his head has been completely destroyed.

You see that Elon's voice is now coming from the cybertruck, Elon transferred his mind into the cloud.

You can hear Elon screaming as he screams for help. The rest of the crew is not happy about your actions either. They tell you to leave and they will take care of you.

The crew takes you to the jail you built and put you behind Mars Bars. You are furious and tell them...

"I am NOT leaving this place until you send me home!". They don't listen to you though. You decide to make a last stand against the Martian invaders by building a small bomb shelter underground. You begin digging out the earth and eventually find a large cave system which leads to a lake.

You see a tube picking up water from the underground lake. You realize that is the water supply for Elon Musk's base. You decide to pee in the water as an act of revenge and solidarity.

> You piss in the water You piss in the water and start feeling better immediately. This seems to be working because you feel less bad and even happier than before. You go back to work and enjoy your new found happiness. Your life is good again.

Elon Musk's crew discovers your underground cave. They approach with yellow eyes, shouting at you to get out of here.

You try to explain that you were drinking the water from the lake to cure yourself of cancer, but they didn't believe you.

You watch as Elon turns yellower and yellower until her turns in a humanoid version of Pikachu. His henchmen do the same and they chase after you attempt to electrocute you.

They succeed in doing so and you scream in pain. You fall unconscious. When you wake up, you are in a strange alien world. It looks like a mixture between Earth and another planet. There are many different kinds of plants and animals.

You bend down to smell a flower on the ground next to you. It smells like chocolate. You say to yourself...

> You eat the Chocolate Plant You pick the plant up and chew on it. It tastes really delicious. You look around and notice some kind of machine which is reading your thoughts. It reads: 'Eat chocolate plant, it cures cancer.' You look at the plant and think 'Cure Cancer?

You eat a whole bunch and then Elon appears from behind a tree laughing hysterically. Elon says, "I got you good Walter, eating chocolate cures cancer? You really are stupid! Also that's not chocolate, it's my shit!"

> You continue to eat the Chocolate Plant You continue to eat the plant and soon become addicted to it. Soon you begin to hallucinate and lose control over your body. You vomit blood and urine, urinate everywhere and even fart blood. Eventually you pass out and die. Elon gets mad at you for wasting his money and destroys your house.

Elon attempts to roll your body into a shallow grave, but as he turns you over, he hears a ticking. You implanted a bomb in your chest to explode when your heart stopped. Elon screams, but it is too late and he is caught in the explosion. You get the last laugh afterall.

This is how you died...