You are training to kill Dracula for the 100th time. Your bloodline is a series of famous vampire hunters. You are trying to stock up on holy water, but run into trouble when you can't afford it at the store. Dracula's son Alucard has made a successful brand of holy water he's forcing you to buy because they have a monopoly on it. You: "I don't need any more holy water!" Alucard: "Yeah, yeah, I know. It's okay, we get it. We're not vampires". You: "It doesn't matter! I'm going to go back to my room and drink all the damn holy water in this place!" You drink as much holy water as you can before you are tackled to the ground. The guards grab your arms and drag you away. Alucard: "Now that was fun, wasn't it? Well, next time, I'll make sure to give you something that will help you survive". You wake up in a cell with a bunch of other prisoners. They tell you that Alucard wants to see you immediately. You vomit the holy water into the cell toilet and make a secret holy water balloon. The guards notice it and release you. You go to Alucard's office and threaten to throw the holy water balloon at him if he doesn't give you 10 cases of holy water. He gives you some, but says he needs you to do something else for him. You say "What is it?" He tells you to find Dracula. You head to Dracula's Castle where you find out that Dracula has been completely defeated by the Belmonts. The castle is in ruins and the final battle between them and Dracula is about to begin. You enter Dracula's throne room and see a large group of Belmonts fighting off hordes of vampires. You tell Dracula you want to make peace and definitely don't have any secret holy water stowed away. He agrees, but only if you promise to never reveal his location again. You agree and turn around to leave Dracula's throne room. Before you head out, you tell him to stop being such a dick and then maybe people wouldn't hunt him down. He just laughs and tells you to be careful. You pull off your VR headset and say this VR training program is not properly training you. He says he understands and asks if you would like to play another game instead. You challenge him to a game of Smash Brothers. > You accept Alucard seems pretty excited about this request. He sends you to an empty arena and says there are no rules. You start off in a neutral position and try to hit your opponent with a fireball. Unfortunately, your character is so small that you fall over every single time. You throw the controller down in frustration and accuse Alucard of never playing fair. Alucard: "Oh come on, I've played this game since I was little! Come on, let me show you how it's done". You walk forward and Alucard throws a fireball at you. You dodge and jump back. He tries a second one and you jump back again. A third one...and you jump back again. You realize Alucard kept items on and he gets a hammer to kill you. THE END
Vincent Belmont, vampire hunter
Posted under Episode 77, Story On By Chief