Two Scientists are trying to fix a time machine through programming and keep getting errors so they message Microsoft to help them find the mistake.

Posted under Story On By Chief

Two Scientists are trying to fix a time machine through programming and keep getting errors so they message Microsoft to help them find the mistake.
 "Hey we have an issue with our program. We're having problems with a few things and I need a little help.
 You can hear typing, but the tech support person has yet to respond. You repeat yourself and then you hear someone answer. "Hello my name is Jeff, what is your issue?" You repeat yourself for the third time with a hint of frustration in your voice. Jeff says, "Ok I think we can help with that, what is the error you are getting?"
 You say, "I'm getting an error when I try to go back in time." "Well why are you getting this error? What did you do?" You say.
 You recognize the voice of Jeff to be your own and realize that you must have caused a time paradox! You quickly change the subject and ask, "Hypothetically if I was in a time paradox, what would I do to fix that?"
 Jeff replies, "You would just jump into the past and try to get back to your own time. That would probably work, but it would be risky.
 You think for a moment and ask, "Am I already doing that?" You hear Jeff back away from the phone and say, "Oh fuck..."
 and hang up. This is the last straw and now you are going to make sure he never answers the phone again.

You quickly grab the cordless phone and begin dialing.
 Hello Hitman Inc.? I need a hitman to kill my time paradox self so the world doesn't end" You hang up and wait for the hitman to arrive. You hear a knock at the door. You answer it and in walks the hitman who introduces himself simply as
 Jim, but you know him as Mr. Gray. He says, "Hello, how can I help you?" You reply, "I need you to go to your office and kill me."
 Jim looks confused for a second, but you clarify by saying, "Time paradox." Jim nods and heads to the office to kill your other timeline you. The next day however, you hear another knock at the door and see Jim's decapitated head with a note that says "Nice try, but you have to fight me one on one!" You accept the challenge and meet at the GPS coordinates specified:
 "Now we go in for the kill" You and Jim begin to travel back to a location in the future. It's night time, but you see the light from a streetlamp nearby.
 The street where you were born - what a place to fight yourself. You charge in with your weapon of choice: a
 crowbar and immediately start hitting Jim in the face repeatedly.
 Jeff is you, and thought of the exact same thing. You and Jeff exchance blows to the head with a crowbar repeately not even remotely attempting block and of the swings. This goes on for hours until
 you are both tired and exhausted. You stop for a moment to catch your breath. "I think I've had enough.
 You are tired and your head hurts a lot. You realize the only way to solve this paradox is by chance. Jeff agrees. You pull out a coin and says, "Heads I live, tails you live." Jeff nods. You flip the coin and it lands on
 heads, so you live, you go back to the time you were born. It's a brand new day and you are free.
You walk over to the window and look out.

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