Tony and the Cursed Jason – You are Tired Tony.

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Tired Tony. You are laying on your couch when you start hearing your friends, Jason and Cory, who are knocking on your front door. It's raining outside, so they want you to let them inside. 
However, you don't want to get off the couch, so you angrily grunt. It starts raining harder, so your friends start shouting, "Tony, please open the door!" You refuse to.
 They keep banging on it for a while before finally giving up. The rain stops after a few minutes of silence from the two.
After some time passes, you hear someone walking down the hall toward your apartment.

> You realize that Jason and Cory have broken in.

Yes! Yes indeedy! This is what you've been waiting for all these years -- to be able to play with your little brother without having to worry about mommy or daddy finding out! Your heart begins racing as you think about how fun this could be...

But then, just when things were getting good, you see something moving around behind him. He turns his head slightly towards the movement, but doesn't say anything. A moment later he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an object.

> You see that Jason has pulled out an
 urn full of ashes.
The urn contains Jason's cremated remains, which are now floating freely through the air.
Jason looks at the urn and says: "What is this?"

> You realize that Jason has been cursed by an all powerful mummy.

You're not sure whether to laugh or cry. But either way, you can't help feeling sorry for poor Jason.
"I'm sorry," you whisper quietly. "This was supposed to happen."

> You ask Jason if he got the artifact from the temple.

It's a small wooden box made from ebony wood carved with hieroglyphs. The box opens easily enough, revealing nothing inside. There's no writing anywhere on the box.
"Oh man..."

Cory translates the hieroglyphs, it says:
 "When I die, my soul will go back to the underworld. If I am buried here, my spirit will be trapped forever. Please bury me somewhere else."
"Wow," you say.

Xabbu points out that there is another inscription above the first one. It reads: "If you do not obey, then my curse will become permanent and I shall rise again someday to take revenge upon those who have defiled my tomb."

You ask Xabbu, "How do I break the curse?"

He replies, "There must be some sort of ritual to remove the curse."
"And where would we find such a thing? We'd need to know exactly what to do."
"We should probably consult our friend Professor Jones.

You meet with Professor Tommy Lee Jones at the University of Phoenix Online.  He is in the middle of a lecture about
 ancient Egypt. He notices you enter and asks, "Can I help you?"
"Professor Jones, may I speak with you privately for a moment?"
"Certainly, young man. What is it you wish to discuss?"

You show Professor Jones a video of Jason clearly suffering from the curse.

"Well, well. So you've found yourself quite the piece of work, haven't you?"
"That's right, sir. And he needs your help breaking the curse."
 Well, I suppose I might be able to give him a hand. How does tomorrow sound?"
"Tomorrow works perfectly fine for us."
"Very good. See you then."
With that, he walks away from you, leaving you alone in the classroom.

You return the next day with Jason and Professor Jones is shocked to see the curse is real.

"My goodness! Is everything alright? Did you manage to get rid of the curse?"
"No, unfortunately, we didn't. Can you tell us more about the curse and how to break it?"

Xabbu explains the curse to Professor Jones, and he tells you that you'll need to perform an exorcism to lift the curse.
"So, what kind of rituals did you have in mind?"

You request for rituals that don't require human sacrifice.

"Ah yes. That's always the question isn't it? I had thought that perhaps a combination of fire and water would be best, but I guess that won't work. Perhaps you could try using earth instead.

You take Jason out to the University court yard and throw him into the mud.
 Then, you set fire to the ground. Jason screams loudly as the flames surround him and burn his skin until he is completely charred black.
As soon as the fire dies down, you use a shovel to dig a hole deep enough to bury him.

> You try the last element you know: love.

Jason is still alive! He crawls out of the grave, looking like he's been burned to death.
"Why?! Why?!" he cries. "Please! I beg you! I'm sorry!
> You ask the Professor if the curse is broken.

"Goodness gracious me! I'm afraid the curse is not yet lifted. In fact, I believe it's even worse than ever."
"How is that possible?"
"Because you didn't kill him properly!
> You realize Professor Jones doesn't want to help, he just wants to kill.

"I don't understand."
"Look at him! He's crawling out of the grave because you failed to follow the proper procedure! Do you really want to continue this line of inquiry?"
"No, sir.
> You try the ritual again, following Professor Jones instructions exactly as written:

!Xabbu throws Jason into the pit of fire. When the flames die down, he uses the shovel to fill the hole with dirt and cover it over. As soon as the dirt is placed on top of the corpse, Jason rises up and yells in pain.

Xabbu acts to speak with Professor Jones privately.

"Sir, we have tried the ritual as you instructed, but the curse has only gotten stronger. We are concerned that this curse is too powerful for us to handle."
"Oh dear, oh dear.
 I'm afraid that's true. I'm afraid that the curse is simply too strong for anyone to lift. My apologies."
"But why? What went wrong?"
"Perhaps I was mistaken.

You realize the only way to break the curse is to kill Jason.  You know exactly what you have to do and grab your ceremonial dagger.

"Let's finish this once and for all."
You stab Jason several times, killing him instantly. His body falls limp onto the floor.
Professor Jones says, "I'm very pleased to see that you've managed to overcome your fear.
 Now, let's begin the ritual."
"Are you going to help us?"
"Of course. Let's get started."
You put Jason's body into the sacrificial stone.
"Now, repeat after me: 'Hail Osiris, Lord of Death!'"
You repeat the words
 as directed.
!Xabbu speaks the final phrase.
"Then, we will pour oil over his eyes and cut off his hands. After that, we will place him in the coffin."

"Do you think you can do all that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Good. I hope you're ready."
Professor Jones takes the knife from you. He cuts off Jason's hands and places them on his chest.

> You watch as the rain falls as you lower Jason into the grave.

Jason's body floats through the air, rising higher into the sky. Eventually, he disappears from view entirely.
A moment later, you feel a strange sensation. Something is happening to your brain.

> You give Xabbu a good review.

Your boss gives you a promotion.
"Congratulations, Mr. Wong. You've done a great job, and I couldn't be happier with your performance."
"Thank you, sir."
"By the way, I heard you helped out Jason with his problem.