The top half of Jim’s head

Posted under Episode 84, Story On By Chief

You are hopping down the street.

> You walk in the direction you came from You continue walking, and suddenly your foot hits something hard. It hurts like hell, but it's nothing compared to what happens next. A black hand grabs your ankle, causing you to fall backwards. The hand is quickly replaced by a pair of glowing green eyes that stare at you with hatred. They look hungry.

You kick the glowing green eyes with your one foot.

You don't feel any pain anymore, but you do hear a voice in your head: "I told you so". The creature is still there, though now its face looks more humanlike than the first time you saw it. It's also got a human-like body, although its arms are long and skinny instead of muscular. Its legs are shorter and stockier than yours.

You ask Danny DeVito the Werewolf if he is OK.

He says no, but thanks you for not killing him. The creature walks up to you. It seems to be the same size as you, but its skin is darker than yours. It has a wolf's ears sticking out from under its fur. It's mouth is wide open, revealing rows of teeth.

You say "Todd, is that you? Do you want to play Frisbee golf?"

"No". "OK then". The creature turns around and leaves.

You throw a rock at the DeVito werewolf.

It bounces off his chest and onto the ground. He laughs. The next day you go back home and tell your parents about the monster. Your mother tells you to come over later when she's done washing dishes. She doesn't really believe you, but since you're her only son, she lets you stay until you get tired of playing Frisbee.

You unleash your horde of undead to take over north america.


You are now the supreme leader of the world controlling the living with your undead army.

You have conquered most of the country except for the big cities. You've been able to keep control of them because they are all too scared to rebel against you. You've made yourself immortal, which makes you immune to bullets, bombs or even zombie attacks. Zombies can't stand up to you either, but they are slow and easy to kill. You've become the lord of all zombies!

You attempt to take over the remaining cities that are filled with rebels. You take over Deleware first because it seems like you can pull it off pretty easy.

You manage to make it happen without much trouble. Then you move on to other major cities. The Zombie Apocalypse is upon us... YOU ARE THE ZOMBIE MASTER RACE!!!

You create all inclusive resort for the high functioning affluent zombies in Myrtle Beach.

YOU HAVE REVOLTED!!! Your reign of terror comes to an end when a special task force led by Colonel Robert Lao is sent to destroy you. You use your powers to turn into a bat and fly away. You survive this feat, but you lose your immortality. When you die, you cease being a zombie forever.

You fly to an old cave and meditate for a while. You reflect on your life decisions and spend time finding out who you really are.

> You are a Zombie Master After spending some time meditating, you realize that you are indeed a Zombie Master. You decide to release yourself from your prison. You begin to transform into a Zombie. You attack everyone in sight, including humans. Eventually you find out that you cannot defeat the forces of nature. You are killed by a meteorite falling on your head.

You are now a zombie walking around with a large meteorite sticking out of your head.

The world has ended.

You hear thoughts being implanted into your brain by the sentient meteorite.

You try to resist, but you fail and succumb to the mind control.

The meteorite tells you to go to the mall and get a strawberry smoothie.

You follow the instructions and enter the mall where you find a Strawberry Smoothie bar. You drink it and soon after you pass out. When you wake up, you find yourself inside a small house. There is a door leading outside and a window. You knock on the door and someone answers. "Hey, I'm here..". You say.

You say "are you an alien bodysnatcher??"

They laugh and answer "no, we just thought you'd be fun to experiment on". You smile and nod your head and leave. Suddenly you see a bright light and everything goes black.

You pull out the meteorite from your head and throw it at this alien.

You succeed and he dies instantly.

You head to your old Myrtle Beach all inclusive resort and find the old bartender that used to make your favorite Mai Thai drink.

You order a new one. You sit down and start drinking. You are now a Zombie Master.

You call up Crystal Lake and get Jason to bring his Machete to help you assault Colonel Lao's bunker.

You smash through the doors and windows. You cut down many soldiers, but there are still more coming. You fight your way to the bunker and find that it is heavily guarded. You hack the security system and finally reach the bunker. You find that Colonel Lao is inside. You kill him easily and then proceed to kill every soldier that was guarding the bunker.

You drink champagne out of Colonel Lao's skull.

You then celebrate your victory by killing the last few soldiers guarding the bunker. You are now the Zombie Master. You have successfully taken over North America. You drink your blood and eat human flesh. You are the Zombie Master.