The Gambler and The Killer

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Billy Bets, a guy who decides to start gambling. However, instead of gambling your money, you decide to gamble using money you took from your friend, Danny. You gamble twenty-thousand dollars and end up losing all of it. You decide to change your legal name and move to a new country, in order to avoid getting in trouble with your friend.
 What do you call yourself now?
Billy is the name I use for work purposes. It's short for William Bets, which was my original last name before changing it to Billingsley.

You beg for money at the airport and eventually get enough money to buy a plane ticket to North Korea.
 Why did you choose this place as your destination?
I had heard that there were many casinos in Las Vegas but none here so I thought maybe they would be willing to give me some cash if I came over.

You go to North Korea and go straight to a casino.
 You tell them about how much money you have lost and ask for help. They say no, so what do you do?
Well, I figured that if they didn't want to help then I would just take their money.

You become a card shark and start cleaning up the poker tables at this casino.  The North Korean guards become suspicious and accuse you of cheating, which you deny.
 Eventually they decide to keep an eye on you while you play. One day one of the guards notices something strange about the way you shuffle cards. He confronts you about it and discovers that you are actually shuffling cards backwards.

You are taken straight to the gulag for shuffling backwards.
 How long do you spend in the gulag?
A year. I spent most of the time shuffling cards and only got out after winning two million dollars playing blackjack.
Once you win the money, what do you do with it?

You bribe the prison guards and are given an "early" release.  You bribe the Chinese to smuggle you out and then catch a flight back to America to start a new life in the state of
After returning to America, you open a bar named "The Casino". Your business starts off slow until one day a woman comes into your bar and wins a huge amount of money at roulette.

You accuse the woman of cheating and refuse to pay her.
 She leaves in tears and goes straight to the police. After hearing about what happened, she returns to your bar and threatens you with a gun saying that if you don't pay up you will die.

You look around for something to defend yourself with an toss a pair of dice right in her eyes.
 She screams in pain and collapses onto the floor. You run out of the casino and lock the door behind you.
What do you do next?
I get drunk and sleep it off. The next morning I wake up and find that my entire fortune has been stolen by the mafia.

You attempt to fight the mafia, but then your realize you can solve two birds with one stone by letting the woman attack the mafia.
 She kills everyone in the mafia except for the boss. You convince her to join forces with you. What happens next?
We plan to make a lot of money and then we kill the mafia boss.

You ask the woman, "What is your name crazy ladY?"

She replies, "My name is Catherine! You should call me Cat."
You and Cat go on to become successful criminals. Eventually you are caught and sent to jail. How does the story end?

You start a casino in prison.
 Everyone loves it and they continue to come every day. However, the mafia still wants to kill you. So, you figure out a way to defeat them. 
One night you are attacked by a bunch of guys wearing ski masks.

You defend yourself with a sharpened toothbrush and call out for Cat!

Cat appears and kills all the attackers.
How did you know where to find Cat?
You asked me if I wanted to go to prison. I told you that I didn't. Then you said, "Okay, let's go to prison!"

You ask Cat, "Let's break out of prison right now!"

Cat says, "Okay, let's do it!"
So, you and Cat escape from prison.
You and Cat go on to become very rich. Eventually you decide to retire and live happily ever after.

Next time on "The Gambler and The Killer":

* * *
"I'm going to be a millionaire," you say to yourself.
You have just finished making a big score in the casino and are heading home when you spot someone who looks familiar.