You are Arthur Williams and you are exploring an Egyptian pyramid tomb. You have just discovered a secret door in the far wall of your room, which leads to a dark corridor beyond. A voice calls out from somewhere behind you: "Hello? Is anyone there?" The question is followed by another call: "Come on! You notice in the secret room on a pedestal is a Sniper Rifle that shoots Cory's clothes instead of bullets. It will take at least three shots before it can kill her. Can you find the way out without getting killed? If not, what do you need to survive this level? "I'm coming!" You take the sniper rifle from it's stand, but oh no! It was booby trapped! You hear the stones and gears shifting in the tomb and then you see a shadow appear in the doorway. Your heart leaps into your throat as the figure steps through the portal and onto the stone floor of the chamber. It is a tall man dressed all in black with his face hidden beneath a hood. You point the sniper at the tall man who looks unafraid. You ask the tall man, "Who are you!?" He answers, "My name is Grendel." The next day... Sheri has been looking for you ever since she got home last night after your little adventure in the pyramid. She finally found you this morning when you were sitting on the couch watching TV. Sheri excitedly tells you about a tomb that is filled with merchandise from Brendan Fraser's Mummy movies. Sheri says, "Brendan Fraser was awesome in those movies!" Your eyes open wide as you say, "Oh my God! I totally forgot about that movie! Do you think we could go check it out today?" You are Sheri head to the Mummy Tomb and catch a showing off all the Brendan Fraser mummy movies. As you exit the tomb theater, you notice the tall man has followed you. He calls out to you, "I am Grendel." "Hi! Nice to meet you," you say back to him. Grendel smiles and says, "So nice to meet you too." You walk up to Grendel and whisper, "Is this about the sniper rifle? Because I am totally keeping that thing. You can go ahead and place a hex or curse on me, I don't care!" Grendel laughs and says, "No, no! That wasn't why I wanted to talk to you. Actually, I came here to apologize for being such an asshole yesterday. I didn't mean any harm by it. You notice Grendel has a satchel full of magic amulets. You ask Grendel if he wants to hang out and blow shit up in the desert. He nods and says, "Hell yeah!" You invite Grendel over to your house so you can show him how much fun it is to be evil. As you get ready for bed, Sheri asks, "Are you going to bring that guy over tonight?" Before Sheri can finish asking the question, the door swings open and Grendel is standing there with Hunter S Thompson. Hunter Thompson hands you a copy of Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas and says, "Take this with you to school tomorrow. It will help you survive." Sheri says, "You guys are friends now?" You don't even hear Sheri's question as you run out the door to test out the destructive power of these new magic amulets. You grab a gold amulet with a large red jewel and point it at a cactus: CACTUS SPRAYED WITH RED You laugh and throw the amulet away. Sheri says, "Don't forget to put that book back in my room." Later that night... You completely forgot to return Sheri's book which was filled with information about hexes and curses from the tombs you visited. You return to the desert late at night to see if you can find it. You look around the sand dunes and spot the golden amulet lying in the middle of the desert. You pick it up and notice the jewel is glowing with a bright red light. You pick up the amulet and turn it over in your hand. Thinking this was the amulet from earlier, you turn and use the amulet on an approaching rattlesnake. However this is not the same amulet and is way more powerful. When you use the amulet on the snake, the snake explodes into thousands of tiny pieces and a loud boom echoes throughout the desert. You quickly toss the amulet aside as you notice Grendel walking towards you. He laughs and says, "Did you really think that would work?" You realize that you can't leave something that powerful just out in the open. You look for where you tossed the amulet and Grendel helps you look as well. After a few minutes, you both give up and decide to keep the amulet. The next day... You arrive at school early to meet up with Grendel and Hunter Thompson. Sheri greets you at the door and asks, "Where's Grendel?" You notice Grendel is sun burnt and has been spending the entire morning sifting through the sands to find that powerful amulet again. You tell Sheri, "Grendel went to play with some friends." Sheri says, "Well, let's go to class." You follow Sheri into her classroom and sit down next to her. Sheri gives a lecture to her students and you are shocked to see her bring up a photograph of the destructive amulet you found last night. Sheri explains this amulet is the amulet of boom boom raka shaka lakka ding dong and has the power to conquer the world. Sheri says, "This amulet will help us defeat our enemies." Sheri then turns to face you and says, "You know what? I am going to make you my assistant. You realize that Sheri has gone crazy with hypothetical power and that you must find and destroy amulet for the good of mankind. You say, "I would love to be your assistant. What do we need to do?" Sheri says, "We have to go to the library and find out everything we can about this amulet. You go to the library and find a book called, "the amulet of boom boom raka shaka lakka ding dong For Dummies" Sheri looks at the book and says, "This is perfect. We can learn how to make one ourselves." Sheri then hands you a list of ingredients and tells you to gather them all together. Jimmy Wimmy, a Local Amulet Expert who also finds Amulets really tasty, overhears you talking about the boom boom amulet and offers his assistance. You say, "Great! Jimmy Wimmy is here to help." You explain to Jimmy Wimmy how Sheri needs him to gather all the ingredients for the boom boom amulet. Jimmy Wimmy says, "I'll be right back." To both your surprise, Jimmy Wimmy has all of the necessary components in his office study. You ask, "What is he doing?" Jimmy Wimmy says, "Oh, I am building the boom boom amulet." You ask, "Why?" Jimmy Wimmy says, "Because Sheri asked me to. Grendel runs into the library and says, "Great news Arthur, I found the amulet! Bad news, thought, it's in the other room." You and Jimmy Wimmy race to the other room to retrieve the boom boom amulet. You say, "Grendel, you idiot! Why did you bring it here?" Jimmy Wimmy holds the amulet in his hands. You can see the power surge through his body. You tell Grendel, "We need to finish the ceremony to make a second boom boom amulet to defeat Jimmy!" You try to take the boom boom amulet from Jimmy Wimmy but Jimmy Wimmy says, "No! Not until you complete the ceremony." You say, "Okay, fine. I'll complete the ceremony now." You read the book and find out that to finish the ceremony requires a blood sacrifice. You tell Grendel, "I have to kill Jimmy Wimmy." Grendel says, "Hey, don't worry about it. I killed him already." You say, "How?" Grendal says, "I guess he was REALLY allergic to cats and seized up when I ran it with my cat hair infused sweater." You say, "I'm not sure I believe you." Grendel says, "Don't worry, Arthur. He's dead." You say, "Fine. Let's get started with the ceremony." You use Jimmy Wimmy's body to complete the ceremony. Now you have 2 boom boom amulets! You yell for Sheri to come and see what you've done. Sheri comes into the library and sees you holding two boom boom amulets. Sheri says, "What's going on?" You say, "Look at these boom boom amulets." You tell Grendel, "Hey we should bury Jimmy Wimmy in the Brendan Fraser tomb. It's only decent now that is essence is trapped in this amulet." Sheri says, "That sounds like a great idea." You say, "But first, let's get rid of this boom boom amulet. We can bury Jimmy Wimmy tomorrow." You place the boom boom amulets in front of each other hoping their destructive power will be enough to destroy each other. But when you activate the two amulets facing each other they create a massive explosion that blows off the roof of the library. You say, "Oh shit!" Sheri says, "It worked! The boom boom amulets destroyed each other." You suffer major skin loss and burns, but you somehow survive. Grendel, on the other hand, was instantly killed. After the explosion, you are left alone in the library. Sheri says, "Arthur, I think we should go home now. Your wounds have healed, but you are still very weak. You buy a Brendan Fraser bobble head and head home glad that you did the right thing. You enter your house and tell Sheri, "I know we didn't follow procedure, but I think we saved the world. I have a feeling that the boom boom amulet will never be used again." Sheri agrees, but conceals that she has the book to make another boom boom amulet. Bwhahahahaha! You both laugh as you watch the Brendan Fraser bobble head spin around in its glass jar. Bwhahahahaha! The End? * * * "You want me to put some more words in here?"