Sussy Beet Farmer

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Farmer Hank Puvelato and you are farm beets.
 You have a family, but your wife has left you for another man who is also a farmer named Jake Cuzner. He's got two kids that will soon be grown men: Billy Joe and Jody Lynn.
 The only thing they know about farming is how to work the combine harvester which was built by Hank's father before he died last year. They don't know anything else and neither do you because it's not what you're supposed to do in this life.

You always dreamed of leaving the farm and chasing your dream job:
 “Be a writer” or maybe even "Be an astronaut." But when your parents were killed by drunk drivers on their way home from church one night, you inherited the farm instead of just some money like most people would get.

You decide it is time to stop waiting and time to start doing.  You begin your training to become an astronaut!
 First you need to learn how to operate everything that will help you survive on Mars:
* How to use the water pump (and then turn off)
* How to operate the air purifier (and then shut up!)

* How to open the hatch (and then shut up!)
* How to read all the labels on the food storage containers (and then shut up!)
After learning all these things, you can finally go out into town and find a job as an astronaut.

You say, "at least I've had a easy life, unlike Jake, poor guy."  You see a job posting for astronaut and you apply.

"My name is Hank Puvelato. I'm twenty-nine years old and a farmer. I love my family and want to live a long life with them. I hope to become an astronaut someday so I can explore space and meet aliens.

Im Postah tells you that is great and he asks how good you are at spotting sus people.
 Sus people are small animals like squirrels, rabbits, etc. If you spot one of those you get a big bonus.
Hank says, "I am pretty good at spotting them." Im Postah smiles and nods his head.

Im Postah tells you that you are hired  to join the AIPD Space Division.  You are so happy!  You train for months to spot sus people.
 When you finish your training, you feel ready to go.
The day arrives when you leave your house to fly to Houston. As you walk down the road, you look back at your farm.

You take a large bite of a beet and throw it to the ground.   Your old life is behind you and now your new life as an astronaut begins.

You say, "I'll never come home again!"
You continue walking toward the airport where you will board your spaceship.
Good luck Hank Puvelato!
Chapter 1 - From Earth to Mars
A few days after you signed your contract with the American Interplanetary Space Development Corporation,

You board the space ship, but are startled to see that your entire crew seems to be made of sus people.
 There is no other word for them. They are small creatures that run around in packs. Some of them have tails. Others have horns. Still others have wings. And some are just furry balls.

You go to the supply room and use your astronaut skills to fashion an improvised weapon.
 Then you follow your new friends through a door that leads to the bridge of the spaceship.
Im Postah tells you that you are going to the planet Mars today.  You are very excited because you thought it would take years to get there.

You arrive on Mars and decide to call a vote.  Orange crew mate has been acting very sus and you accuse him of being the imposter.

Orange says, "What? I'm not the imposter."
You say, "Oh yeah? Prove it."
Orange says, "Well, let me show you something."
He takes you to the ship's computer.
 He types in a command and the screen displays the following words:
Your jaw drops. You say, "That can't be true!

You are ejected into space.
 You land on the surface of Mars and you are immediately captured by the su people.
You say, "Hey guys! What's wrong with you?"
They respond by beating you unconscious.
You wake up in a cage.