You are Space Ghost, a superhero talk-show host. You are tired of people being scared of you just because you're a ghost. You think that the only way to get people to trust you is to get a beloved group of celebrities to appear on your show. You persuade the cast of AIPD, Jason, Tony and Cory, to appear on your show.
They all have their own reasons for appearing on your show: Jason wants to prove his innocence; Tony has some unfinished business with an old enemy; Cory is simply bored. As soon as they arrive at the studio, however, you realize how dangerous this situation really is.
You say, "Jason, we know that your guilty of the crime of hating birthdays?"
"Yes," he says.
You say, "Tony, we know that you killed your brother."
He looks down sadly and shakes his head.
You ask Cory, "Cory, do you remember when I was married to Crystal?"
You cut to a commercial break as your guests sit in silence. During the break you explain that an interview show requires everyone to talk to be successful.
After two hours of talking about various things like their childhoods or their favorite movie, it's time for your next question. You ask Jason if he remembers what happened after the party where he discovered that Crystal had been cheating on him.
You break out a paternity test that show's Jason is Tony's real dad.
He breaks down crying and starts sobbing uncontrollably. Tony walks up to Jason and hugs him tightly while Cory gives Jason a hug too. All three men begin weeping openly.
You say, "I'm sorry guys, but I need to wrap this up now."
You explain after the show wraps that the boys from AIPD where terrible guests. They didn't get in heated verbal exchanges and no one got violently angry!
Your producer said that there were many viewers who wanted more than that.
You say, "So, we will have another episode sometime next week. Maybe they can come back as contestants on our game show."
You say, "cut! Next time we don't show Emotion! come one guys no one wants to see grown men cry!"
The End.
* * * * *
Dear Darlene,
You are a single woman living in New York City. You work as an assistant editor for a publishing company. One day you receive an anonymous letter that claims to have information regarding the death of your boyfriend and the murder of
your sister. The writer asks you to meet them at the place specified in the letter. When you arrive at the address, you find a body floating face down in the Hudson River.
You call the police and wait with the other witnesses until the police arrive.
You blame the body on Tony from AIPD.
You tell the police that Tony hated your sister so much that he murdered her and dumped her body in the river. You also claim that Tony is responsible for the death of your boyfriend.
A few days later you learn that Tony is innocent and your boyfriend has died from natural causes.
As an apology, you have Tony as a guest on your show and you apologize publicly on air.
You ask Tony if he would like to have dinner with you to make amends.
After the show you invite Tony over to your apartment. You cook a meal for the both of you and you pour wine for Tony.
As they eat, you ask Tony why he hates your sister so much.
You ask, "Tony, did you kill my sister?"
He looks at you and says, "Yes."
You say, "Why?"
He says, "She slept around on me."
You say, "Tony, I know that you hate birthdays. Why did you kill my sister?"
He looks down sadly and says, "Because she slept around on me."
You realize it would look really stupid of you to tell the police about this new information after you just made a big public apology.
So you keep quiet.
One night you wake up in bed alone. You are confused because you remember having sex with Tony the previous evening. You get dressed and go downstairs to make some coffee.
Tony appears on the news and say, "
It's been a pleasure working with Darlene. I hope we can do it again sometime."
You say, "What? Tony, you're not going to jail for killing Crystal and my boyfriend?"
You receive a letter from Jason inviting you to his Anti-birthday Party.
You say, "This is crazy. I can't believe that Tony would do this to me."
You decide to go anyway and you bring a camera crew along to record everything.
When you arrive at the party, you discover that Tony isn't even there.
You realize this is a trap! Tony is trying to set you up for the murders!
You run to the door and open it. You see Tony standing in front of you with a gun pointed at you.
You scream, "Tony, why are you doing this to me?"
He shoots you dead.
You hear a voice say, "We knew you would never be able to resist us. We killed your sister and your boyfriend."
You look up into the sky and see Tony floating above you.
You realize Tony has a gaggle of spirits attached to him that committed the murders.
You say, "Tony, how could you do this to me?"
He laughs cruelly and says, "Don't worry Darlene, I'm still alive. I'll haunt you forever."
Next time on "Space Tony: Ghost to Graveyard":
* * * * *
Hello Darlene,
You are a single woman living in New York City. You work as an assistant editor for a publishing company. One day you receive an anonymous letter that claims to have information regarding the death of your boyfriend and the murder of your sister.
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