You are Chud Chugson, a viking with crippling narcolepsy. One day after a raid you wake up in a burnt village with nobody in sight. Suddenly you hear a voice in the distance.
"I'm here Chud Chugson." You look around and see that it is a beautiful young woman. She's dressed in a blue tunic with white trimming and red hair tied back in a ponytail. "I am Princess Ylva, daughter of King Erik. I have come to rescue you from your captors".
You barely make it through her introduction before you fall asleep.
Ylva takes you by the hand and leads you into the burned out remains of the village. The air smells like smoke and ash. You look around and see that there are no more buildings left standing. There are several dead bodies lying about. You start to worry when you notice that some of these people were your fellow raiders.
"We've been attacked!"
Princess Ylva face palms and says, "You've been sleeping for the past 4 days. We know. We are trying to save you." You think that this isn't the first time she has told you this. You say, "I know who did it! It was-" and then you fall asleep again.
Ylva runs over to a dead person and picks up their weapons. She walks over to another body and picks up a dagger. She looks at your corpse and says, "This one is mine." You try to get up but Ylva grabs your arm and pulls you down. She starts to walk away. "Wait!" you yell. "Who are you?
Ylva groans loudly in frustration and explains her mission to protect you and find out who did this to your village. You lean in for a kiss with Ylva.
Your lips touch and you feel nothing. The kiss ends abruptly.
You open your eyes and see that Ylva is gone. You sit up and look around. There is nothing left of the village except for rubble and ashes. You're still naked.
You track Ylva down to the Narcolepsy medicine factory.
You enter and see that all the doors and windows are boarded up. You remember that Ylva said they had been broken into earlier today. You head towards the back of the building. Ylva follows you.
The back of the building is littered with broken glass and debris. You hear a voice behind you. "Oh, you must be Chud Chugson.
You look behind and see Ylva's father, King Erik.
He's wearing a leather armor and has his sword drawn. He looks at you and asks," What happened? "You stare at him blankly. Erik notices you staring at him and says, "What's wrong?" You can barely even form words. You finally say, "I don't know. I woke up in a burned village and then I saw a beautiful woman.
King Erik tells you that it was no attack, you just fell asleep while cooking and made your entire village vanish.
Erik says, "I will deal with this." He pulls out his sword and starts walking away. You follow him. Erik stops and says, "Why don't you come inside? I'll explain everything." You follow Erik into the house. He goes into the kitchen and sits down at the table. You sit across from him. "So..."
And then immediately fall asleep again. You wake up and Erik's house is on fire and Erik is on fire and Ylva is laughing.
Ylva says, "That was quite a show you put on! I bet you thought I was going to kill you right there!" You say, "No. I can't remember anything after that." Erik says, "Well, you were pretty out of it." Ylva says, "I guess I could have killed you.
The moral of the story:
never sleep alone." You say, "But how did we get here? Is the princess okay?" Erik says, "She was hit by a rock. She's fine."
Ylva says, "I wish I could be as lucky." You say, "Me too. But what about Princess Ylva? Did she survive?"