You open your fridge, but there's no drinks in there. You consider drinking water out of your kitchen sink, until you realize that your friend is bathing in there. You go to the bathroom and consider drinking bathtub water, but you realize that your friend's cats are bathing in there. Since you're running out of options, you decide to drink out of the toilet. You go back to your job a JoAnn's Fabrics and try to pretend like everything's OK. > You time passes... You spend an entire day at work, pretending that nothing weird happened between you two. After all, you've been friends for years, so it must be something really important! Still, you don't feel any different about her. In fact, she seems even more beautiful than usual today. You open up to Quinela and tell her that you drank out of the toilet this morning. She asks if you were okay, and you say yes, because you think maybe you just got sick from drinking too much water. She says she thinks you should come with her to the party tonight. "Come on," she says. "We'll get you drunk". You agree. The next day, you arrive at the party. You show up to the party wearing a pirate costume. You look around and see nobody else is wearing a costume. You feel a little embarrassed. You see Quinela drinking a beer in the kitchen and go over to talk to her. "Hey, I'm here!" you shout. Quinela looks at you surprised. "What? Are you kidding me?" She turns her head away from the door to the backyard and starts laughing. "I thought you were going to be late". You reply, "Yeah, I was", then you start walking towards her. You get on a table and yell "Who wants to see me drink out of the toilet!?" Everyone cheers and follows you into the bathroom. > You time passes... You spend the rest of the night drinking out of the toilet. You have some sort of strange dream about your father. He's trying to teach you how to play the guitar, but he can't seem to remember anything. Eventually, you wake up and realize that you need to pee. You follow Quinela into the bathroom. You continue. You find yourself standing in front of a large mirror, which has a sign above it saying 'Mirror'. You stare at yourself in the reflection. It takes you a moment to recognize what you're seeing. You're naked. You look down at yourself and gasp. You're not even half way through your pants. You grab your dick and pull them down. You turn around and ask Quinela if she would like to finish taking off your pants. She agrees and pulls them down. Then, you both take off your clothes. Afterwards, you walk outside and Quinela grabs her bag and heads inside. You stand there looking at each other for awhile. Finally, you say "Well, I guess we're done". You both leave the bathroom and walk along side by side. You see Quinela at work the next day. You ask her if you did something wrong last night. > You yes, you did Quinela: Yes, I did. I didn't tell you exactly what happened. You: No, I mean... (Sigh) Well, yeah, I guess I had sex with a cat. Quinela: A WHAT?! You: Yeah, a cat. Quinela: What?! You say "It wasn't my fault. Someone spiked the toilet water and I was too high to control myself. I understand why you are upset and I apologize, but I can't promise it won't happen again. I hope you understand. Will you be my girlfriend?" You: Sure, sure, whatever. Why not? You: Just wanted to make sure. Afterwards, you and Quinela kiss. You: So, where do you want to go first? Quinley: Oh, well I was thinking, we could go to the park or something. We could play games. You: That sounds nice. Quinley plays checkers in the park, meanwhile you are playing chess. You do some push ups and try to impress Quinley in the middle of the game. Afterwards, you both sit down on a bench and chat about life. You both eventually fall asleep. You have a wild dream about swimming in a pool of toilet water filled with sexy cats. The following day, you wake up early and eat breakfast. You then head to the basement to wash up. When you return, Quinela is already awake. You: Hey, what's going on? Quinela: I woke you up so you could help me get ready. You: Really? You say "Listen... I like you and everything, but you are so needy. Why do you need my help? I need sex, are you willing to help me out with that?" You: Look, I know you're not used to guys doing this kind of thing, but I really want to help you out. I mean, you seem very lonely. Quinela: Yeah, well I am too. But I suppose I shouldn't complain too much, since you helped me out yesterday. You: Okay then, let's do this. You say "Ok I'll help you, what do you need me to do?" Quinela: Um, just put your hand on my leg, rub my thigh and then slide your finger up between my legs... You: Wait, that doesn't sound right! Quinela: What do you think I meant? You: Uh, well, um... It's just that when I touch your leg, I imagine you touching my crotch. You continue. You: Alright, alright, I'll do it. You: I'll put my hand on your leg, and then rub your leg and then slide my fingers up between my legs... Quinela: You don't need to speak, I get it now. You get nervous and run to use the bathroom. As you finish washing up, you see the toilet overflow. You panic and shove a bunch of toilet paper in there and go back to Quinela pretending that everything is ok. She says "I'm sorry, but I've been waiting for you". You: "What?!" You: "I thought you were going to help me!" You: "Oh no, I forgot all about you. I should have asked you earlier" You: "But I was so excited!" You: "No, I can't believe you said yes!" You say "Ok. Now lay back and tell me EXACTLY what to do." You: "Um, I don't know how to do this..". Quinela: "Just relax and trust me. I will guide you through this process". You: "Wait, you're kidding right? How are you supposed to do this?" Quinela: "Trust me, it's easy". You lay on your back and close your eyes and let Quinela take the lead. She starts rubbing your legs and then slides one finger into your vagina. You moan loudly as she goes deeper and deeper. After several minutes, you feel satisfied and relaxed and then slowly open your eyes. You: "Wow. Did you actually do it?" Quinela: "Yes, I did". You notice Quinela's hand is stuck inside of you. Quinela tells you not to panic. She wants to show you something. She takes off her shirt and shows you her breasts. You gasp at their size and even more so when she begins sucking on them. You: "That feels amazing". Quinela: "Well you deserve a reward after such an incredible experience". You: "So what are you gonna do?" You someone knocks on the door, it's the downstairs neighbor who tells you he thinks the building is flooding. Quinela notices all the water coming from the bathroom and goes into a frenzy. > You stay outside and wait for him to leave. You: "Okay, okay, I'll wait outside. But if he comes back, don't worry, I'll come running in here!". Quinela: "Good boy. Now, I'm going to give you something else to enjoy while you wait for the flood waters to subside". You the mattress begins to float as the flood waters raise. You: "Wait, why does the bed float?". Quinela continues. You: "Why does the bed float?". She continues. You: "What does that mean?" She continues. You: "What does that mean?" She continues. You: "It means I'm having fun with you". You paddle the bed raft into the kitchen and make yourself a snack while Quinela romances you. Afterwards, you head back upstairs where you find that the house has flooded completely. You: "I knew I should have left sooner..". As you walk around the house, you see that the roof is caved in and the whole place is underwater. You: "This isn't good, I better get out of here before I drown in my own bathtub". You in order to save the house and your lives, you DRINK ALL THE TOILET WATER until there is no more! As you drink, you try to remember what happened last night. You: "Yeah, we had sex. And then I drank some toilet water and fell asleep". You: "And now I'm drowning in my own bathtub. That's just the way things are these days". The next morning, you wake up and realize that the entire house is submerged under water.
Sips McKenzie, a guy who is feeling dehydrated
Posted under Episode 109, Story On By Chief