Sherlock Gnome and the Pickled Blacksmith

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Sherlock Gnomes with no hat on.
 You have been sent to investigate a mysterious disappearance in the Hollows, and you're not sure what is more disconcerting: that there's something strange about this case or that your partner isn't answering his phone."

You reach the Hollows and ask the gnomes that live there about who has disappeared and where they could have gone.
 They tell you it was one of their own—a female named Algernon —and she went out for some fresh air. The gnomes say that when they last saw her, she seemed fine.

You go to Algernon's place and look for clues.
 Your hunch is correct; there's nothing here but a note left by Algernon. It reads: "I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. Take care of yourself. Love, Algernon."

You begin to get suspicious as the handwriting from the note does not match Algernon's handwriting in a journal from her desk.  Why would someone forge this note?  Perhaps she was kidnapped!  You hear a noise and notice someone has been watching you from the bushes.  You rush to chase this mystery gnome and run through the forest.
 Suddenly, a large creature jumps out at you and grabs you around the neck. It chokes you and lifts you into the air. You try to scream, but only manage a strangled squeak.

You squeak out, "This note was forged by a dwarven blacksmith!"

The gnome grins. "So, Gnomes, you can still be clever despite being small and weak." He lets go of you. You fall back onto the ground, gasping for breath.

You finally realize this gnome that was strangling you is Algernon's father:
"What do you want?" he asks.
You explain everything to him and beg for help. He tells you that if Algernon was kidnapped, then whoever did it must have used magic to disguise themselves.

You tell Gaspard that you suspect the person who kidnapped his daughter is the Dwarven Blacksmith.  You head to the home of the blacksmith.

Gaspard warns you, "He will use every trick in the book to make sure we don't find his daughter. Don't let him fool you."
But you have a plan.

You wear you special hat which is covered in giant turds.  This will surely intimidate the Dwarven Blacksmith into telling the truth.
 You follow the dwarf to his workshop. You sneak up behind him and drop a turd on his head.
The dwarf screams and falls over backwards. You grab him by the beard and ask him where his daughter is.

The dwarf says, "Ok ok, I'll tell you where she is!  Algernon is
 trapped inside a jar of pickles in the cellar!"
You rush down to the basement and find Algernon locked in a glass jar filled with brine. She looks like a drowned rat.

Gaspard can't believe his eyes.  That bastard dwarf has pickled his daughter and killed her.  You attempt to arrest the blacksmith, but Gaspard has his own form of justice:
 he cuts off the blacksmith's fingers and toes.
You charge after Gaspard, but he escapes before you can catch him. You return to the gnomes' village and tell them what happened.

The entire village is on high alert for the Blacksmith.  You tell Gaspard that he was out of line and that if he just let you do things by the book then Blacksmith would be in jail.

Gaspard tells you, "You're right.  But I've never had a Gnome to bring me justice before. We need a new way of doing things."
You look at each other and decide to work together.

Gaspard opens a hotline for anyone that has seen the Blacksmith.  You put your detective skills to use and comb the forge to see if you can figure out where the Blacksmith might be hiding.

After an hour of searching, you find a clue. You find a piece of paper in a barrel of brine. It has a name written on it: "Nate". You follow the trail of Nate's footsteps and eventually find him in a room with a door that leads to a secret passage
. You open the door and enter the secret tunnel.
You continue to follow the tunnel until you come to a fork. There are two doors ahead of you, one on either side. The left door leads back to the main hall.

You take the right door and notice the Blacksmith in the middle of a poker game with other seedy fantasy beasts:
 dwarves, elves, trolls and more.
You walk up to the table and ask the Blacksmith where his daughter is.
The dwarf snarls, "Who wants to know?"
You reply, "I am the Gnome Detective.

You notice the Blacksmith is very drunk and you can't believe he does not recognize you.  You notice his hands and feet are poorly bandaged and clearly infected.

You say, "We found some evidence that your daughter was kidnapped by the Dwarven Blacksmith."
The dwarf shouts, "You lie!"
You respond, "No, I'm serious.

You say, "I'm feeling a little peckish, I feel like eating a pickle."

You pull out the pickle from the jar.
Everyone in the room turns their heads towards you. You throw the pickle at the dwarf and it hits him square in the face. Everyone in the room begins to laugh as the dwarf stumbles around the room and tries to get away.

You remember your secret weapon: a cock cutter made by the cbt wizard himself.
 You whip it out of your belt and hold it above the dwarf's head.
The dwarf stops laughing and looks at you with fear in his eyes.
You say, "Now, now...

The dwarf realizes who you are and shit himself to death.

You then turn to the others in the room and demand they hand over the Blacksmith.
The other fantasy creatures reluctantly give up the dwarf and reveal themselves to be the Blacksmith's accomplices.

You pickle the blacksmith.

The dwarf screams in agony as you slowly cut off his fingers and toes.
You then deliver the blacksmith to Gaspard.
He puts the dwarf in prison and orders him to stay there until he is well again.

Next on "Sherlock Gnome and the Pickled Blacksmith":

A few days later, Gaspard tells you that the dwarf is dead.
You wonder why he would tell you this.
Gaspard explains, "The dwarf was a member of the Thieves Guild.