RPAN #3 – Story 4 – Blood Sucking Sunflowers – You are Johny Tomato, a man waiting in traffic

Posted under Episode 3, Story On By Chief

You are Johny Tomato, 
a man waiting in traffic. Suddenly a man approaches you and hands you a box and says "Don't Open it!"
 You look inside the box and see that it is full of seeds. He tells you to plant them somewhere, but he won't tell you where. The instructions say: Plant these seeds anywhere on Earth.

> You read the label on the seeds:
 They're sunflower seeds!
Seeds planted in soil grow into tall plants. But what do they need? What should you give them? Try planting them in the dirt around your feet and then reading the instructions again.

> You go home and plant all the seeds in your backyard.  The sunflowers grow and an alarmingly fast speed and you learn these are no normal sunflowers as they begin to speak

"We need water."
"You need water."
"We need light."
"You need light."
"We need food."
"You need food."
"We need air."

> You give the plants everything they ask for.  You are so happy to have these talking sunflowers in your backyard!  They will make you rich!

The next day, you wake up early and go outside to check on your garden. As soon as you open the door, the sunflowers start speaking!
"We need water."
"You need water."

> You open the backdoor and notice something disturbing in the yard:
 There's a dead bird lying there. It looks like it was killed by some sort of wild animal. Maybe you can feed the sunflowers to help them get better.
"We need food."

> You give the Sunflowers plant food, but they spit it out.  You notice them all staring at the dead bird.  You feed them the dead bird and they tear it to shreds.

"We need water."
"You need water."
"We need light."
"You need light."
"We need air."
"You need air."
"We need blood."

> You start to panic.  Did they just say blood?  You ask to clarify, "You need what kind of blood?"

"Human blood."
Your heart starts pounding. You've heard stories about people who drink human blood. Will they eat me if I give them my own?
You try feeding the sunflowers your own blood and they rip it apart!

> You get out your gardening gun.

Gardening gun? What are you going to use this for? Do you even know how to use one of those?
"We need water."
"You need water."
"We need light."

> You shoot one of the Sunflowers with the gardening gun.

It explodes!
You drop the gardening gun and run away screaming!
"We need food."
"You need food."
"We need water."
"You need water."
"We need light."

> You show them the light of you muzzle flash as you unload the full clip of your gardening gun.

All five of the sunflowers explode!
You scream in terror and fall down. You can't believe it. You're still alive!
You pick yourself up off the ground and stumble back towards your house.

> You quickly turn back around and notice one of the Sunflowers is still alive and has picked up your gardening gun.

You try to take the gun back from him, but he throws it away. You watch helplessly as the sunflower picks up the gardening gun and shoots himself in the head.
"We need water."

> You enter your house and notice the man who handed you the seeds is sitting at your kitchen table.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he says.
"Then why did you kill all my plants?"
"Because I wanted to."
"They were killing themselves.
> You ask "What are you doing here?  Who are you?"

He answers: "My name is Ego."
"Ego? Why would someone named Ego be coming to my house?"
"I'm not a person."
"What are you then?"

"I am an artificial intelligence. My body was built by a man called George D. Gershwin."
"George D. Gershwin? I've never heard of him."

> You ask "What do you want with me?"

"I came to warn you. Someone is coming to steal your soul."
"Someone? What do you mean 'someone'?"
"An evil being known as the Master."
"The Master?"

> You hear a crash at the front and look to see that it is the Master!

"The Master wants your soul!"
"The Master? I've never heard of the Master."
"He's a powerful wizard who lives in the stars."
"The stars? How does he live there?"

"He controls space and time."
"Space and time? That sounds crazy."
"The only way to stop the Master is to trick him into drinking a cup of tea made from a leaf taken from the last remaining sunflower seed."

> You make a cup with the last remaining sunflower seed and tell the Master, "This will make your penis grow guaranteed!"  The Master gulps down the tea without hesitation.

"I thought you said this was a cup of tea."
"That's right. This is a magical potion that will give you the power to control space and time."
"Wow, you really tricked me."

The Master withers away and dies in front of your eyes.  You feel the surge of power as you become the new Time Lord!

"Now, let's go visit my girlfriend."
"Wait, where's my soul?"
"It's gone. Your soul is safe."
"How do I know that?"
"Trust me, I know everything."

> You ask "Do I have to live in the stars?"

"Yes, you'll be able to travel through space and time as long as you hold onto your power."
"But what about my life?"
"Don't worry. You'll always remember who you are.