Richard Flisher, a 67 years old programmer from Minnesota

You are Richard Flisher, a 67 years old programmer from Minnesota. After retirement you feel like you've lost your purpose in life. To entertain yourself, you decide to download all of the Internet to your 1986 IBM computer. You quickly run out of hard drive space, so you start buying and hoarding hard drives from local pawn shops. People start to suspect that you are doing some illegal activities with your collection of thousands hard drives.

One day while working on your computer, you notice a strange image flashing across the screen. It is an image of a naked woman lying next to a man who looks very familiar...
the woman is clearly around your age, but the man is Agent Dibgy, a CIA agent one day away from retirement. You contemplate what you should do with this scandalous photo. Should you report it? Report it now? Take the risk and wait for the inevitable?
You go to the church and confess you actions to known gossiper Father Shenanigans. He tells you that it is a sin to see such a wicked image and curses you with a horrible STD.
> You go to the free STD clinic, which is run by atheists.
You visit the free STD clinic run by atheists. An ungodly amount of angry STD infected patients crowd around the entrance, screaming at you about their genital warts.
you wade through the pile of pus-filled genitals to the front of the line. "I have been cursed with an STD" you exclaim.
"Oh, God. Please do not make me stand in this damn line any longer!" a man screams at you.
You finally get examined and the doctor tells you, "Yep, genital warts are definitely genital warts."
"Can you cure it?" you ask.
The doctor sighs and tells you, "I can definitely cure you of genital warts, but I can't cure you of genital warts unless you are willing to undergo a treatment plan that would take at least a year of your time.
you celebrate the start your treatment at the local retirement castle with a spry young 70 year old.
The retirement community is not without its security concerns however. Some old people are unhappy about having to share the castle with you, and threaten to burn it down every now and then.
> You before becoming intimate with your date you reveal your genital warts to gauge her reaction.
You call up to the second floor where your dinner awaits you. "I have genital warts."
Your host's girlfriend looks over at you and says, "Oh, really?"
You nod.
You have best sex of your life.
The next day, you carefully clean your duffel bag and set off from the castle for Minnesota.
The moral of the story: Always tell the truth.
THE END
You reached the story, "A Dilemma," by entering the following Goldman's code: GENDER: male. AGE: between 1 and 10.