Richard, a chemical plant worker who wants to prank his brother

Posted under a chemical plant worker who wants to prank his brother, Richard, Story On By Chief

You are Richard, a chemical plant worker who wants to prank his brother. You take him to your place of work. You pull out a tub of untested chemicals and say, "This is hair cream. If you want your hair to look better than ever, starts using this stuff." Your brother replies, "Okay." He dunks his head into the chemicals.

The next day, he comes back with a long string of curls. "I'm so proud!" he says.
> You say "That was a vat of weasel piss."
"That was a vat of weasel pee," you reply.

Your brother looks at you like he's never seen anyone react that way before. Then, he goes home and tells his wife about what happened.
The next day his wife comes to your lab and begs for weasel piss for herself.
"That stuff will kill you," you say. "I'll sell it to you for $20."
You used to work with an old friend in a lab.
She dunks her head in the tub of weasel piss and suddenly her hair looks even better than it did before.
"It's done!" she screams. "We can go now."
You run for the elevator.
The night guard sees an intruder and panics yelling for her to stop, when she doesn't, he pulls out his gun and unloads the full clip into her back side.  You try to stop him but it is too late.
"What did you do that for?" you ask.
"I am so sorry, I am just a guard, I don't know why I did that," he says.
> You hold the security guards head under the weasel piss and drown him in weasel piss.
You take the elevator down to the lab and get your stuff. It's only two blocks to the bus stop. The next bus should come in three hours.
As you are waiting for the bus, you hear screaming at the chemical plant.  You go to check it out and see that the night guard has turned into a giant yeti with beautiful curls.
"Now that's what I call a chemical reaction," you say.
The yeti kills the security guard and then goes on to break windows and throw cars.
The bus finally comes and you get on it.
The yeti tips over the bus you are riding on. You survive but the bus driver dies from a heart attack.
You get up and decide that you better run to the next bus stop.
You run back inside the chemical plant and decide the only way to survive the night is to become the monster you are running from.  You hop in the vat of weasel piss and start to transform.
You come out of the vat as a ten foot tall yeti with beautiful flowing curls.
You feel like dropping a deuce but realize you no longer have a butthole.
You level up and gain the following yeti powers:
Golden Lock Of Hair (Passive) – You are able to charm an entire bar of women with simply a toss of your golden lock.
You run outside and fight the night guard Yeti by throwing cars at each other. You knock his head off with a dumpster. It bounces down the street and rolls to a stop at your feet. You realize you can barely walk anymore and will never make it to the next city tonight.
You decide to spend the night at a bar down the street, where it happens to be lady's night. You toss your golden locks and in no time you have a handful of beautiful women all over you.
You walk out of the bar three hours later a changed man. You vow to live your life as a playboy.
You are approached by a detective in the morning who is surprised that you look nothing like your Driver's license photo.
"You're coming with me," he says.
You are locked up in a cell where you will stay for the next twenty years.
You easily lift him off the ground and throw him out the 34th story window of your high rise condo.
You hear a knock on the door. It's the police. They tell you that there has been a complaint about a man being thrown out of the window of this building.
> You blame it on your neighbor and go back to having sex with many women in your penthouse.
You change the locks on your door and go back to having sex with many beautiful women. One day you are approached by a man who offers to double your money. You accept his offer and within the week you are rich.
The moral of the story: Sex sells.
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