Princess Lisa has very long blond hair

Posted under Episode 90, Story On By Chief

You are trapped in a tower and being held prisoner by a fire breathing Dragon.

Your family has been killed, your home destroyed and you are in the clutches of an evil wizard who is about to kill you.

You have been trapped in the tower because you were the head writer for the final season of "Game of Thrones." The wizard will not release you until you rewrite it to his liking.

> You must write the ending that fits your writing style best You decide to write what would happen if you had written the original script. You realize that you can't go back and change something that was never meant to be changed. It's like when you wrote the book. You couldn't just go back and make changes in the middle of the story.

You tell the Wizard you have lost your mojo and have writer's block. You tell him to bring you some redbull and coke so you can finish the rewrite.

He promises he'll get right on it. The next day you come up with a new draft. This time you feel more inspired. You start rewriting scenes as they come to mind. You also add in things that didn't seem to fit into the story at all. Your revision goes on for hours. When you're finished, you think you've improved the script a lot.

You asked the dragon to read the script before you give it to the wizard. "The is the plot of Dune," the dragon screams, and he roars, incinerating your script.

"I'm sorry," you say, "but this is how I want to do it". The Wizard laughs. He says, "Well, good luck with that".

You rewrite Dune from memory again and turn it in to the Wizard the next day.

He gives you another rewrite, which is even worse than the first one. He tells you that he doesn't care if you have rewritten the movie twice; he wants the original version. You ask the Wizard why he won't let you revise the screenplay. The Wizard explains that he hasn't seen the film yet and he isn't going to judge you based on one reading.

You give him the original version of the script.

"This is better", you say. "No, no, this is better," he replies. "And now we're going to see if you can actually write a script". The Wizard asks you to stand up and walk out of the room while he starts pacing back and forth. Finally, he takes a pen and paper and writes down everything you just said.

You realize he is stealing your life story for a reality show. You ask the dragon to be your agent.

The dragon agrees and you become an overnight sensation! Suddenly everyone wants to work with you. A few months later you win an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. You are the toast of Hollywood. But then disaster strikes... A year passes and you find yourself sitting in a small conference room surrounded by people you don't know.

The chair spins around and it is the Wizard. He is suing you for stealing his movie idea, the rest of the people in the room is the Wizard's legal team. You sense that they are all under his spell.

Suddenly the door opens and the Wizard's wife walks in. She looks furious. She grabs a folder and slams it shut. Then she turns her attention to you. "What did you do?" she demands. "Nothing," you reply. "Then you're lying!" she exclaims.

You point at the wizard and claim "He touched my breasts!".

She starts screaming at you to stop and grabs your arms. "Stop lying! We both know you stole our husband's idea!" The woman gets up and storms off. You sit there stunned by what just happened. After a moment you calm yourself and remember you need to get out of here. You quickly grab your bags and leave.

You say "You're not going to get away with this," Harvey Wizardstein!"

> You try to explain yourself You explain that you didn't steal anything and that you didn't mean any harm. The woman seems satisfied. She lets you go and thanks you. A week passes and you receive an invitation to speak at a convention in New York City. You accept the offer.

at the convention you give a speech to thousands of people. You begin to cry and say "Harvey Wizardstein touched my breasts."

Everyone claps and applauds. A month after the convention you get a call from the Wizard. He apologizes for calling you a liar and says he understands if you felt violated. He tells you that he has decided to forgive you and offers you a job working for him. You decline his offer saying that you really should sue him for fraud.

You Furious at Harvey Wizardstein," you tell your story to a former samurai who is now a journalist. His name is Ronin Farrow, and he exposes Harvey Wizardstein to the world.

In a matter of weeks, Harvey Wizardstein is forced to resign from his position at Warner Brothers. Meanwhile you decide to take advantage of the situation and create your own television series called "Dune". You hire a group of actors including Gary Cooper to play the roles of Paul Atreides and Princess Irulan. You also hire a talented director named David Lynch.

You during production, you begin eating very very poorly and you gain 600 lbs.

Your health continues to deteriorate and you lose your job. You are unable to pay the bills so you sell the rights to your TV series to raise money. You also sell some of your possessions to help fund the project. A year after the release of your TV series, you are still living in a trailer park.

You come up with a brilliant idea: Remake Disney animated movies as live-action movies, except the stars of the new movies are super fat. It is a huge success.

Your company becomes a multi-million dollar business and you are able to retire early.

You name your production company Wide Trailer Films.

In time you start getting requests from Hollywood studios wanting to use your techniques in their films. Your company becomes a major player in the industry. But things change when a young producer named Steven Spielberg approaches you about making a movie adaptation of Frank Herbert's sci-fi novel "Dune". You are skeptical about the project but Spielberg convinces you and you agree to make the movie.

You tell him "You must hire David Lynch to direct. Sorry.".

Years pass and you finally finish shooting the movie. You release it to theaters across America and it does well. In fact, you think it's the best thing you've ever done. Everyone loves it and you are considered a genius. You even get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. You feel like you've made it. Then suddenly...

You continue.

A couple years later you get a phone call from David Lynch. He apologizes for calling you a liar and promises never to contact you again. You hang up the phone feeling betrayed. Years pass and you get another phone call from David. This time he asks you to meet him in Los Angeles.