Our First AI Dungeon Dragon Model Adventure

Posted under Episode 148, Our First Dragon Fantasy, Story On By Chief

Our story begins with a group of adventurers living in the medieval kingdom of Larion. The kingdom is filled with small villages and thatched cottages and has been relatively peaceful until now. The adventurers are on a quest to find the magical staff of Zalos. They walk through the forest and notice a band of mountain dwarves. The dwarves are friendly and offer them food and drink. Then one of the dwarves turns to them and says: "Congratulations, you have been selected to take part in a great quest."
> Starnas says "I was just about to say the same thing to you!"
Starnas, a valiant warrior, known for slaying the dragon Karstor.
Karn, a friendly dwarf, travelling to visit his cousin Dorn.
> Sherlock Homes says "So what's your deal Karn?  What are you into?  You have crazy eyes."
Sherlock, a master of the art of detection.
Dorn, a large intimidating warrior, hired to protect Karn.
Gloria, a pretty young girl with no care for anyone but herself.
> Yurg Blergens says "Craziness is but an illusion of the mind, Sherlock. "
Yurg, a strange man who appears to be more than he seems.
Kelso, a criminal who has turned over a new leaf.
You are all sitting around a campfire.
> Starnas says "So Kelso, what crimes did do?"
Kelso stares at Starnas.
"Well... I uh... I stole a goose, once."
"A goose?
> Yurg Blergens says "So Gloria, are you single?"
"Interesting. So, uh, what's your favorite book?"
Gloria stares at Yurg.
"I think you know."
> Sherlock Homes says "I like books."
"Oh do you read much?"
"Oh yes, I read a lot. I find it very interesting."
"Do you like the Bible?"
> Yurg Blergens says "I love the Bible, but Sherlock doesn't believe in it. Right Sherlock?"
"Yes, that is correct.
"Oh. Why don't you believe in it?"
"It's not realistic. The idea of an almighty, all-powerful God is non-sensical.
Just then, lightning strikes a nearby tree. Everyone looks at it, as the tree catches fire.
"What happened?" asks Dorn.
"It's a long story," says Yurg.
Gloria tells the group it is a sign from God.
"I knew it," says Kelso. "You're a witch! I saw it in your eyes!"
Gloria stands up and draws her sword.
Sherlock Homes defends Gloria and Gloria falls in love with Sherlock Homes because he is handsome and defends her.
"You're not a witch," says Sherlock, "you're just beautiful."
"Awwwww!" cries Starnas, as he watches the two embrace.
> Yurg Blergens says "Sherlock is under the spell of Gloria the Witch. He believes she is in love with him when she clearly is attracted to I, the god-fearing Yurg. "
"Yes, I agree," says Starnas.
The two of you watch the couple make out by the fire.
"You know what I think?" asks Starnas.
"What do you think?"
> Starnas says "I think God lives up in a castle beyond the forest of sexuality.  We should go pay him a visit!"
"Hmm, that is interesting," says Yurg. "I wonder if we could sneak in there."
"Let's try!"
> Sherlock Homes says "Be careful everyone, the forest of sexuality will make everyone super horny and aroused."
"Well, that doesn't sound dangerous," says Yurg.
You all leave the campfire and enter the forest.
The forest is dark, save for the light of the moon.
> Yurg Blergens feel moderately horny, but not super horny.
Yurg Blergens is moderately horny, but not super horny.
Starnas feels a little horny, but nothing he can't handle.
Sherlock Homes is not horny at all.
> Sherlock Homes says "I'm not horny at all.  I must find out why.  Let me look for clues."
Sherlock begins searching for clues as to why he is not feeling horny.
Sherlock discovers a memory from his childhood where he walked in on his foster parents having sex. He remembers the fear he felt.
Sherlock finds a memory from his time in the army where one of his fellow soldiers showed him a picture of his wife and talked about how great sex was.
> Sherlock Homes says "Yurg, can you tell me about sex?"
"Sex? Well, you stick your private into the other person's private."
"Like... What do you mean? Does it go in the front or the back?
> Yurg Blergens says "If it's a man and a woman, he puts his front in her front. If it's two men, one puts his front in the other one's back, or they take turns. If it's two women, they rub fronts. "
"What's a front and a back?"
"A front is where you put your privates, and a back is where you don't."
"Oh. Do you have pictures?"
Yurg shows him some crude drawings.
"That's great. That's really great," says Sherlock, lying. "Can I go now?"
"Yes, you may," says Yurg. "Come again!"
The adventurers suddenly become overcome by their sexual desires.
Starnas jumps on Dorn, penetrates him anally and begins thrusting like an animal.
Yurg sits down and begins rubbing his crotch.
Gloria begins touching herself.
> Sherlock Homes gives birth to a baby.
Sherlock collapses on the floor and births a bouncing baby boy.
"Thank God!" cries Yurg. "We're saved! We're all saved!"
Yurg begins dancing.
> Yurg Blergens says "I name the boy Watson!"
"Watson?" you say. "Why that name?"
"I just had a flash of inspiration!" says Yurg. "Watson! Come here, boy!"
The night ends with an orgy.  They wake up in the morning and find their way out of the forest.
The end.
> Starnas points at the castle.  God is standing on the balcony with the staff of Zalos.
"Come on, let's get out of here," says Starnas. "Come on, let's go."
The trio starts running, but they quickly realize they have something to do first.
> Yurg Blergens let's put their clothes back on.
"Wait," says Starnas. "We need to put our clothes back on."
"Why?" asks Dorn.
"Because..." Starnas thinks hard. "...it's nice to wear clothes."
> Starnas overcomes his fear of nudity and charges God's castle naked.
"Come on!" he yells. "Let's do this!"
The three run towards the castle. As they reach the drawbridge, it is raised.
> Sherlock Homes throws Watson over the castle wall.
"Go, Watson!" Sherlock yells, as he throws the boy over the wall.
"Why am I Watson?"
"Because you're my trusted companion!"
The trio climb over the castle wall and escape.
> Yurg Blergens says "I can't believe you threw your infant away like that, Sherlock."
"He was slowing us down," says Sherlock. "And it was either that or let him be killed by the Beast of Grunnings Castle."
"But he might have grown up to cure cancer!
The trio enters a secret room in the castle. A wizard stands there, with the missing princess.
"You're free," says Starnas.
"I am?" asks the princess. "Oh, good."
The wizard turns to the trio.
> Sherlock Homes says "Wizard!  Show me to the staff of Zalos or face the consequences!"
"Fuck you!" says the wizard.
The wizard turns into a giant spider.
"Kill him," says Sherlock.
The trio kill the wizard, and steal the staff of Zalos.
The end.
> Yurg Blergens says "God I hate spiders. "
"Spiders are disgusting," says Starnas.
"Wanna find a broom cupboard and make babies?" asks Dorn.
"Yeah! Let's go!"
Sherlock Homes waves the staff of Zalos and teleports the group into a different dimension.
The trio find themselves in a room with a massive table. Sitting at the table are various fantasy races.
"Come on," says Sherlock. "Let's go."
"Where are we?"
> Yurg Blergens says "We are on my spaceship, headed to my homeworld of Blargus. "
"No, we're not," says Starnas.
"Yes. We are," says Yurg. "I don't know what the hell this is."
Sherlock Homes begins to breastfeed Watson.
"I've been drinking," says Yurg. "Let's go see who's here."
The trio enter the room.
> Starnas says "Should I put clothes on?  Or are you aliens cool with this?"
"Nah," you say.
You enter the room. Sitting around the table are various fantasy races.
"Who the fuck are these guys?" asks a dwarf.
"Dunno," you reply.
> Sherlock Homes says "can everyone please say their fantasy race"
"I'm a vampire!" says a dark elf.
"I'm a fucking leprechaun!" says a leprechaun.
"I'm an ogre!" says an ogre.
> Yurg Blergens slaps the dark elf and calls him a dirty liar.
Yurg slaps the dark elf and calls him a dirty liar.
"I'm not a fucking vampire! Vampires aren't even real!"
"Oh, yeah?" asks the dark elf.
> Yurg Blergens yeah.
"Yeah!" says Yurg.
"Oh, yeah?" asks the dark elf again.
"Yeah!" says Yurg.
The dark elf suddenly draws a knife and stabs Yurg in the throat.
> Starnas without thinking plugs the hole with his penis.
You instantly jump forward and put your dick in the stab wound to stop him from bleeding to death.
"Thanks," says Yurg.
You nod, but then you feel his penis enter your urethra.
> Sherlock Homes says "Wow"
You scream as it enters your bladder.
> Yurg Blergens says "Get ready for my incredibly small penis, Duke Jaywalker, Jedi Knight!"
You feel his small dick enter your ass.
"It's in!" Yurg yells.
He begins thrusting.
> Starnas looks around and everyone in the room has their laser rifles drawn.
You look around and everyone in the room has their laser rifles drawn.
"Oh, shit," you say.
You all throw your hands in the air.
"Well, I'll be fucked,"
> Sherlock Homes waves the magic staff of Zalos!
You wave the staff of Zalos and suddenly you are all transported back to your secret base on Earth.
"Ha! I am a wizard," you say.
"No, you're a dumbass,"
> Yurg Blergens says "I miss my homeworld."
"I miss my spaceship," says Yurg.
"We could get it back," you say. "We still have the staff of Zalos."
"I sold it," says Yurg.
> Starnas see that Sherlock has a new fancy hat.
You notice that Sherlock has a new, fancy hat.
"How'd you get that fancy hat?" you ask.
"I bought it," says Sherlock.
"We have money?
> Yurg Blergens says "Give me some of that money. I want to invest it Blipcoin!"
"Give me some of that money," says Yurg. "I want to invest it in Blipcoin!
> Sherlock Homes says "This is a magic hat!"
"This is a magic hat!" says Sherlock.
Sherlock puts the hat on his head.
"It's so... soft," he says, before slowly closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
> Yurg Blergens realizes Sherlock is invisible when he falls asleep with the hat on.
You watch as Sherlock slowly closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.
"Shit," you say, realizing that he's invisible when he's asleep with the hat on.
You grab your gun.
> Starnas says "whoa whoa whoa Yurg, let me take my penis out of your wound before you do anything drastic!"
You grab your gun as Yurg grabs a knife.
"Let's go," you say.
You exit the room, and walk quickly down the hallway. You can hear the hum of some sort of machinery nearby.
> Sherlock Homes search for clues as to the origin of the machinery.
You begin to search the area, but find nothing.
"We should split up," you say. "We can cover more ground that way."
"Good idea," says Yurg.
> Starnas finds a room filled with Dorn clones floating in an large warehouse of tubes.
You walk down the hall, and find a door to a room filled with machinery. There's a large sign on the wall which reads:
> Yurg Blergens says "I wish Gloria was here. "
You watch as a large, floating, metal orb floats into the room. It appears to be camera of some sort.
"What the fuck is this?" you ask.
"Shh," says Yurg.
> Sherlock Homes says "I've seen this metal orb in my dreams.  It is reading our minds."
You watch as the orb floats towards you, entering your field of view. Suddenly, it appears in front of you. You feel your mind enter a state of numbness and calmness.
> Starnas realizes that the orb cannot see Sherlock because his invisibility hat is on.
You realize that the orb cannot see Sherlock, as his invisibility hat is on.
"What is this?" you ask.
"Quiet," says Yurg.
Suddenly, the orb floats away from you.
> Sherlock Homes smashes the orb with a stick.
You pick up a nearby stick, and smash it into the orb.
The orb bursts, sending pieces of metal into the air.
"What did you do that for?" asks Yurg.
> Sherlock Homes looks through the pieces for clues to the orbs origin.
You look at the orb's remnants, and find a small flash drive-like object.
"What's that?" asks Yurg.
> Starnas plugs the flash drive into a port on his butt and a slideshow beams out from his eyes onto a nearby wall.
You plug the flash drive into a port on your butt, and a slideshow begins to beam out from your eyes onto a nearby wall.
"What is this?" you ask.
"Quiet," says Yurg.
Next to pictures of a tree, some rocks, and a lake, you see a picture of a building.
"Is that the Clonplex?" asks Yurg.
You look at the building, and recognize it.
> Starnas see a man in one of the slides looks exactly like Dorn, only he is wearing a labcoat.
You see a picture of a man in a labcoat.
"Is that... Dorn?" you ask.
"Quiet," says Yurg.
> Sherlock Homes says "look!  In that tube has a clone of Yurg inside!"
You see a picture of Yurg inside a tube.
"It can't be," you say.
"Quiet," says Yurg.
Suddenly, the lights turn on, and the emergency exit door opens.
> Starnas realizes that Yurg has been replaced by a clone and the real Yurg must be trapped somewhere in the Clonplex!
You realize that Yurg has been replaced by a clone and the real Yurg must be trapped somewhere in the Clonplex!
> Sherlock Homes says "Yurg, you be quiet"

> Yurg Blergens investigates one of the clones by entering its urethra.
You see a clone of Yurg standing nearby.
"Let's be quiet," you say.
"Good idea," says the clone.You crawl up to one of the clones, and enter its urethra. You crawl through the urethra, and enter the bladder.
After crawling through the bladder, you enter the kidney.
> Starnas inside the kidney Starnas see the answers to all Starnas's questions.
You see the answers to all of your questions inside the kidney. You know everything there is to know about the Clonplex, and everything else!
> Sherlock Homes says "What's Gloria's phone number?"
You know everything there is to know about the Clonplex, and everything else! You remember every detail of your trip to the grocery store yesterday, and all the events of your childhood.
> Sherlock Homes says "Kidneys, please tell me, what is love?"
You remember every detail of your trip to the grocery store yesterday, and all the events of your childhood. You know every equation and fact from every school subject you've ever taken.
> Starnas says "is that what love really is?  A bunch of facts and math equations?"
You know every equation and fact from every school subject you've ever taken. You know the secret to life, the universe, and everything.
The secret to life, the universe, and everything is: "42."