NYE Story #14

Posted under NYE Story #14, Story On By Chief

You are Sean, a guy who is excited about New Years. You buy fireworks and light them. The fireworks go into the air before landing on a brand-new spaceship. The fireworks make the spaceship explode. Thankfully, nobody was inside the spaceship, but the inventors of the spaceship are furious. 

"What the fuck were you doing?! What if we had been in there?!" they cry out. "We would have all died!"

"I didn't do anything! I just lit up some fireworks!"
> You point out the obvious flaw with their ship design with being taken down a firework.
"Yeah, well what if we'd been in there? We would have all died."

The inventor's eyes widen as they look at you. They turn to each other and begin whispering amongst themselves.
Bill Nye the Science Guy, furious, turns to you and says, "What the fuck? Are you trying to kill someone or are you just an idiot?"
The others begin whispering again, and after a brief conference, the spokeswoman for the group turns to you.
The spokeswoman says, "We've decided that if you can answer our riddle correctly, we'll fund your party. However, if you get it wrong, you'll have to attend next year.
You say game on and they give you the following riddle:
"We are man-made, but feel no pain.
We are filled with blood, yet we have no heart.
We have a head and a tail, but no limbs.
Answer: A Coin."
> You say "A Coin"
You say "A Coin", and the group sighs in disappointment.
The spokeswoman says, "We had to try."
Disappointed, you turn to leave, when the spokeswoman stops you.
"Here is one coupon for pizza party, not usable on holidays.  Cannot combine with other offers.", says the spokeswoman.
You thank the group, take your coupon, and get out of there.
You gain a coupon for a free personal pepperoni pizza.
> You say "Sorry about the ship, but I am sure I can make this up to you. Wink. Wink."
You walk up to the group and wink at the spokeswoman.
She looks shocked. The other inventors gasp at your brashness, but after a moment of silence, they begin laughing.
Carl Sagan enters the room and says "Stop your foolish laughing" and then looks at you with a grim face.
Carl apologizes for his fellow scientists.  He explains to do you that you blew up the last of their grant money and now they have nothing else to work on except themsevles.
You look confused and say, "But... that's a good thing! You're free now!".
Carl slaps you in the face and leaves.
You gain a bruise from your lab partner.
The mailman hands you a letter.  You've been awarded grant money for fireworks research.
You gain a $500 grant from the government.
You have the best backyard fireworks show your neighbors have ever seen.  You hold a pizza party and watch the fireworks go off as the clock counts down to the New Year. 
You hope that this year will be a prosperous one.
You have reached the "Happy Ending" of the game. 
Your grant money runs out, but you invent a new type of firework that is much cheaper to produce.
The moral of the story:
Unfortunately, the moral of this story hasn't been written yet.
The moral of last year:
Last Years Moral:
Stupid Idea But I Guess It's Better Then Nothing.
Your grant money runs out, but you invent a new type of firework that is much cheaper to produce.