My Name is Bobert – You are Bobert, a man taking a trip to italy.

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Bobert, a man taking a trip to italy. People think your name is Robert and you just pronounce your name wrong.
 But you don't care what people think anyway. You have decided that the best way to get through this journey is to pretend you're a mute. The world will not know that you can speak or read lips.

> You go to a restaurant and order spaghetti by pointing randomly at the menu.

The waiter looks at you funny. "What's wrong with him?" he asks the other customers.
"He doesn't understand me," says one of them.
"Yeah, but why?"
 asks another patron.
"Because he's mute!" replies the first guy.

Your mute act is paying off and the waiter brings a little taste of everything.
 He also gets some wine for you. It tastes pretty good. And then he leaves so you can talk to each other about how much better it is than the food in the kitchen.
You've been on the road all day and you're hungry again.

You notice a woman with a cart selling Italian Ice and attempt to use hand signals to order one.
 She laughs at you. "I'm sorry mister," she says, "but I don't understand sign language."

> You continue signaling with your hands until she gives you something.

She takes your money and then tells you to come back tomorrow. You decide to wait around outside her shop.
It turns out that there's a whole festival going on here. There's music and dancing and everyone seems happy.

> You join in the festivities and dance with a cute Italian woman.

You try to learn the steps of the dance. You manage to get through two before you trip over your own feet.
"Oh my god! Are you okay?" asks the girl.

A flash grenade in your back pocket goes off blinding everyone on the dance floor.
 A few seconds later a squad car pulls up and a cop comes running into the crowd. "Everyone clear out! Clear out now!" he yells.
You hear a gunshot and then see the cop fall down.

> You notice the festivities are being invaded by the mafia.

They start shooting everybody. You take cover behind a nearby wall.
The gunshots stop for a moment.
"There's nobody left alive!" someone shouts.
Then the gunfire starts again. You duck down low and run for your life.

> You try to run away, and bump head first into the head of the mafia:

The man has a gun pointed right at you. You grab his wrist and hold on tight. He tries to pull the trigger but you won't let go.
You struggle against him, trying to pry the gun from his grasp.

The mafia leader is impressed with your combat skills and one of his henchmen says, "Hey, this guy's a mute!  Let's call him Mikey the Mute!"

You laugh and say, "No thanks. I'd rather be called Bobert."
The man laughs and says, "Alright then. Bobert it is."
And then he shoots you dead.