You are Steve Beckenberg. Only you can prevent forest fires, so Anti-Smokey is hot on your tail. He wants to murder you so he can burn down every tree on Earth.
You must stop him before all the trees go up in smoke."
"No problem," I said.
I was a bit confused at first because this wasn't what I had been expecting. The game seemed to be about stopping forest fires and not saving the world from climate change.
Anti-Smokey is accompanied by his various forest dwelling lackies: Cigarello The Chipmunk, Bongy The Beaver, Tokin The Turtle,
and Dingo The Dog. They're all cute and innocent looking but they're really evil. I thought that by playing this game I would save the planet and beat up the evil forest dwellers. But it's not like that at all.
You recruit Mr Beast to help you and he suggests doing a million dollar video about
saving the environment.
The forest dwellers have their own levels and each level has a boss fight which takes place in a different forest biome. There are five biomes and each one is themed around a different animal.
Cigarello the Chipmunks level is in the biome of
chipmunks, Bongy the Beaver level is in the biome of beavers, Tokin the Turtle level is in the biome of turtles, Dingo the Dog level is in the biome of dogs, and finally there's Mr Beast's level where you fight off the evil forest dweller himself.
You go through the forest easily defeating the forest dweller lackeys of Anti-Smokey. You reach Anti-Smokey's bear den and walk in to see
him sitting in his chair smoking a cigar and eating a warm, juicy steak. He looks up at you with those big brown eyes and says "Well, well, well. I'm surprised to see you here."
"Oh, hi Mr Bear," I replied.
Anti-Smokey says, "Sit down and enough with all the fighting. Let's work this out diplomatically... what is your price?" You tell Anti-Smokey, "The fate of the world has no price!" but you look at Mr Beast and see sweat on his brow as Anti-Smokey begins filling out a check and writing zero after zero. Mr Beast breaks at $1 billion dollars and betrays you.
You say, "Mr Bear, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to betray me. You were just trying to do what was right." Mr Bear replies, "I know. I just wanted to make money. I don't care about the world anymore."
Mr Beast performs a triple cross when he says he will plant $1 billion dollars worth of trees. This happens over night and now the Earth has too much oxygen!
Anti-Smokey says, "That's just silly. How could you not want the world to breathe? I'm going to kill you now. I'll start with this steak. It's still good." You say, "We should talk about this."
Anti-Smokey inadvertently revealed his weakness: delicious food! You take Anti-Smokey to an all you can eat buffet at Big Boy's and watch him eat himself to death.
Then you fly back home and leave Mr Beast to die in the forest.
I have to admit that I felt bad for Mr Beast. He was such a nice guy. I guess he had a lot of responsibilities. I think he really loved that steak.
The moral of the story:
Don't trust Mr Beast. He'll betray you.
I had gotten used to my new life as a superhero. I was even starting to feel like a hero. I got a lot of attention from people on the street.
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