Missing the Mark: The life story of Mark Markson

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are Mark Markson, trying to make his mark on life.
 You're a good guy and you want people to know it." The words came out of nowhere as if they were being fed through my skin into the blood vessels in my brain. I looked at her for some sign that she was playing me or something but there wasn't any reaction from her other than an
 unreadable expression. "It's time for you to do what needs doing," she said simply. She turned away then and walked toward the door. As soon as she opened it I felt like someone had hit me across the face with a two-by-four because all the air seemed to be knocked
 out of me. For a moment I couldn't breathe and when I did finally get enough oxygen back into my lungs, I just sat there staring at the closed door wondering what the hell had happened?

You realize that the woman does not want any cut co knives and that she slammed the door in your face.  You question all of your life choices up until now.  You decide to make today different, today you will
 live differently.  You grab your keys and head out the door.
The ride home is quiet; you are still reeling from the encounter with Miss Gail.  You arrive at your apartment and immediately lock the doors behind you.

You look at the wanted ads.  You desperately seek a new job and notice a listing with the title "MAKE YOUR MARK ON THE WORLD!  LIFE CHANGING OPPURTUNITY AWAITS!"  You call the number immediately.

"Hi, I saw the ad for this company that helps people find jobs. Is this the right number?"
"Yes, sir. This is the right number. How can we help you?"

You say, "I am Mark Markson and I wanted to make a mark on my life!"

She laughs.  "Mark, I'm sorry, but no one here wants to hire anyone who thinks they are going to change their lives. We don't even have any openings at the moment."

You say, "If you don't give me a job, I'm going to drive to your company and poop on everyone."

She says, "You're not the first person to threaten us with bodily harm but I've never heard of anyone actually following through. Good luck though, Mark."
You hang up the phone.

You decide maybe you can make a mark on the world by selling markers
 to college students.  You head to the local convenience store to buy some supplies and see if you can sell them to kids.
The next day you set up shop in front of the store.

Within fifteen minutes, the owner of the store asks you, "What the hell are you doing?"

You say, "I'm giving away free markers. Do you want one?"
He looks at you suspiciously.  He sees the roll of duct tape hanging off your belt.
He says, "Why would I want one of those?

You give your best sales pitch for the store owner to take the marker, you say, "
They're great! They make your writing stand out from the rest!"
He gives you the money and tells you he'll keep an eye out for more customers.
You walk back to your car and open the trunk.

You realize that lying is a great asset for being an amazing salesman.  You spend the whole day lying to the entire town and sell out all of your marker supply.

As you are packing up your car, you hear a voice behind you.
You turn around to see Miss Gail standing there.
You say, "How'd you know where I was?"

Miss Gail hits you right in the face with her fist.  She says, "Stop selling your lies in MY TOWN!"

You fall to the ground crying.
You ask, "Why?"
She says, "Because you're a liar and a thief and you deserve to be treated like shit!"
You say, "But...
but I..."
She says, "You have no idea how hard it is to live in this town and be seen as a normal person. People look down on you and laugh at you and I'm sick of it!

Miss Gail goes to the trunk of her car and pulls out a tire iron.  You run away and realize that lying has consequences.

You decide to leave town and go to the nearest city.
You arrive in the big city and start looking for work.
You find a job as a laborer at a construction site.

You try really hard to impress your foreman and instead up making a horrible mistake:
 you spill hot asphalt on his foot.
Your boss yells, "Get him out of here!"
You are fired on the spot.
You walk back to your apartment and cry.
You decide to return home to Miss Gail.

You apologize profusely to Miss Gail.

She says, "I forgive you because you were just a stupid kid who didn't know what he was doing. But you need to learn to control yourself before you hurt someone else."
You say, "I promise I won't do anything like that again!"

The next day, you do something like that again.

You get fired from your job.
You walk home and cry.
You decide to move to another town.
You arrive in the next town and start looking for a job.
You find a job as a waiter at a restaurant.

You serve your first table and on the receipt you read a note from the father of the family you served.  It reads, "Thanks Mark for the great service.  You really made you Mark ;)"

You decide to stay in the new town and continue working at the restaurant.
You become friends with the cook and you help him out whenever he needs it.
One day you are helping him when suddenly you smell something burning.

You run into the kitchen and see that the stove is on fire.
You yell, "HEY! HEY! HELP ME!"
You grab the pot of water that is boiling over the flames and throw it on top of the stove.

You create a huge grease fire.

You jump up and down screaming, "HELP! SOMEONE CALL 911!"
No one comes.
You run out of the kitchen and see Miss Gail walking towards you with a rolling pin in her hand.

Miss Gail single handedly puts out the fire with her rolling pin.  The news covers here and calls her a hero.  She goes viral and becomes known as the Rolling Pin Fire Fighter.

You watch as she gets famous.
You wonder if you should follow in her footsteps and become a celebrity.
You tell yourself, "I can do this."
It's time to take action!

Next time on "Missing the Mark: The life story of Mark Markson":

Mark decides to become a rock star.  He starts recording music in a studio and he's really good at it!
But then one day he hears a rumor that the president of the record label wants to kill him.