misalife: you are Harry Potter, you are down on your luck and decide to become a children's party magican so you can pay your bills. ai: Unfortunately the man is stuck in the same dead end job and lives his life in fear of his brother who has become a serial killer. You never do discover what happened to his brother. You usually eat alone, but not always. Sometimes you meet people and become friends with them over food. You have become very attached to your fridge over the years. You are a hermit and never leave your house. It's safe in a way that the outside world is not. the7thsage: join 5he wizard no-holds-barred cage-match society to earn tons of money. Your first opponent is needle head ai: gal whose second head kicks your ass while she laughs at you abuse. You decide not to try again. Your default setting is to drink yourself stupid on a regular basis. To dull the pain. Once you develop cirrhosis you decide that it doesn't matter who is in the cage with you, you just want to lie down. Finally you die of a great blow to the head and your body is burned beyond recognition. A great mystery is never solved. There are misalife: you go to your Hogarts 20th school reunion ai: . You ride a horse, throw axes, have shirts and sunglasses, and are generally more successful than everyone else. You realize the nostalgia of the past as you all reminisce about the old days. Finally you decide to ask someone about the gang. "Hey, yeah, I was in the gang..." "Hey! You asshole! I thought you died in a car crash!" "Yeah I did...who remembers the Hogtown Chicks?" "Hogtown misalife: you find out that you've been evicted from your park bench by the park ranger ai: . You decide to try your luck at the trailer park, but fate still seems to be against you. You go to the bar to drink, and sit at the same table as some old girlfriends from high school. Olivia and Jessica. You never knew how much you missed them until now. "Hey! How are you?" Jessica asks. "I'm fine...but I never thought I'd ever see you again!" you say. "Yeah, we thought misalife: I'm doing really well, my wife and kids hate my guts. anyway wanna suck my Wand?" ai: You of course accept and begin sucking. While you're doing that, you wonder how you could have forgotten how good such a thing could be for your mental well-being. "Wow, that was good! You ever do this with Bobby?" "Me? Nah, I fucked him the one time we were all matched up and he never paid attention to anything else when we were doing it. He was staring at my tits the entire time and then he just sort of gro misalife: you decide to sell your magic Semen for extra cash ai: and buy more booze. You continue this cycle for years, sometimes you make enough money to buy a new trailer, sometimes you don't. But always just enough to keep you going. Eventually you stop having fun and start getting obnoxious. You begin claiming an entire trailer just to yourself, something that really wasn't designed for one person. You also start getting paranoid that you're being followed and imprisoned. Finally one day your reckless behavior and delusions come to a head. You misalife: you see that you are Turning into what you feared the most: Voldermort!!!! ai: You strike out at your enemies with a wicked left hook, killing them all. You then proceed to destroy everything in your trailer park that you could, until you're finally confronted by the local police who agree with you that the trailer park is a den of evil. They call in a bomb expert who blows up your trailer, along with the evil spirits inhabiting it, and you along with it. You have chosen to die for your sins. You are Burned By aipd: You build a trailer park mansion from the scraps. ai: Your sins will never be forgiven. You have been cursed to Never-Ending Hell. I'm sorry son. I'm just the messenger. Eternal, you have been cursed to live in eternal hell. Your evil spirit is trapped in the body of a gory dead corpse. You are forced to eat other corpses for food. You are forced to defecate and urinate on yourself. You are forced to listen to annoying sounds for eternity.