Max Silverstein, a crab fisherman in the Bering Strait

Posted under Episode 123, Story On By Chief

You have been fishing for crab in the freezing ocean for the last fourteen hours. You bring up a crab pot and a shiny gold crab looks at you. You know it is the mythically magic crab from the old stories.

It is an ancient creature, one of many that once inhabited this land long ago. "Come on, let's get out of here," says Max. "I can't go any further". He puts his hand over his eyes to block the sun as he walks along the shoreline. The cold water makes him shiver.

You listen to the crab speak to you. The crab says "I will grant you one wish. Choose wisely.".

> You make Max Happy Max turns around and smiles. "Thank you, my friend", he says. "Let us leave now. We must find a ship soon". The crab nods and they walk back towards the town where they boarded a boat. It was small but had enough space for them all.

You get called into Dixie Glitter's office on the boat. Dixie is the ship's private investigator and primary chef. Dixie asks you about the golden crab.

You tell her the story of how you caught it and she immediately starts looking through your bag. She finds a note from Max and takes it out. She reads it aloud: Dear Max, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. Please don't worry. I'll be fine. I promise. Love, Max. Dixie glares at you. "What does that mean?"

You yell at Dixie "STOP READING MY JOURNAL" and slap your journal out of her hand.

Dixie sighs. "So it did happen then. Well, we can't help you there. But if you ever want to see me again, just ask". The next day you board the first ship heading south. It is a very large vessel with lots of windows so everyone can watch the crew work.

The golden crab reveals his name is Heisman Crab and that a person on this boat is a murderer, he tells you to be careful.

When you arrive in New Orleans, the city is in chaos. The Saints have won the Superbowl. There has never been a team like them before. People line the streets celebrating and crying. In fact people cry everywhere! Everyone has lost someone. Your family is no exception. Your sister Susan is dead. Her body was found in a ditch.

Crab is in high demand, you've sold all your regular crab in 10 minutes. The people of New Orleans start eyeing Heisman Crab, you grab him and start to run.

A man grabs Crab by the arm and throws him down onto a building. The people throw rocks at Crab, breaking several of his legs. The police come running and try to arrest Crab. They beat him badly. When the news comes on, they show Crab's broken bones and the blood dripping off of them.

You grab crab and jump into a cab. You tell the driver "Drive to the nearest animal hospital!".


Heisman Crab is fading fast, he tells you he doesn't think he's going to make. You have a chance to use your 1 wish to save his life. You decide to...

You drive to the Animal Hospital. You enter the door and the doors swing open. A big black dog barks at you. It seems to understand you. It growls and lunges at you. You scream and shoot the dog in its head. You turn and run back inside. The dog runs after you and attacks another patient.


You rush outside and fire a few more shots at the dog. You hear a gunshot and look behind you. The dog is lying dead on the ground. You sit down in a chair and feel sad. You realize you could have done something to help the dog. You try to remember what you wrote in your journal.

You wait in the waiting room as crab is seen by the animal doctor. You open your journal and read the most important entries to yourself will you wait, maybe this will help you decide what you want to wish for.

> You wish for Strength You look at the doctor who is examining crab. He stares at you. "Hello Mr. Crab. My name is Dr. Hirsch. What do you wish for?" Crab blinks. "Strength..". Dr. Hirsch looks at you. "Yes, yes. That is a common wish".

Crab flat lines and you walk out of the hospital ripped as hell and sobbing uncontrollably. You run into Dixie in the parking lot who is very confused at your sudden change in appearance.

She asks you why you cried. You explain you were attacked by a dog and you wished for strength. She thinks for a moment and shakes her head. "No, I cannot grant such a wish. Such wishes violate the laws of nature". You're speechless and still crying when you realize she's right. You realize you can not help crab.

You go back into the animal hospital and ask to see crab's body. You take his body to the ocean and sit on a rock near the sea. You begin to eat crab's broken legs. Delicious.

Suddenly you notice a small black dot floating over towards you. It floats closer until it touches your hand and disappears. You stare at it and realize it is a tiny starfish. You pick up one of the stars and put it in your mouth and chew on it. It tastes horrible but somehow you manage to finish it.

You eat all the fish in the gulf of mexico to fuel your insatiable appetite.

You continue eating and stop to smell the flowers. You notice a rosebud flower growing from a branch of a tree nearby. You pick it up and sniff it. You find it to be extremely pleasant and you keep smelling it. Soon you smell roses all around you. You wonder how long it will be before they bloom.