You are Henry and using your metal detector on the beach looking for who knows what. You walk up to a body that has been washed ashore, dead of course but you can see its wounds: bullet holes in the chest and head; blood seeping out onto the sand below it. It's hard to make out because of the bloating in the face, but you know this person is male from their long hair and beard. And they look like an old man, which means someone shot him at close range. The weapon used was likely a revolver or maybe even one of those weird little pistols with multiple barrels that fired bullets through each other. You notice the old man is lying on a pile of swimsuits belonging to Jason, Tony and Cory from AIPD. It seems strange that they would bring their clothes down here just so they could go skinny dipping. But then again, there is always something odd about these guys. They seem obsessed with being young and virile all the time, yet they never do anything to actually be healthy. You call the police and let the detective know all the things you noticed. He will tell you he doesn't think it was foul play since the victim didn't have any obvious signs of struggle, but he also says if someone wanted to kill them, why not shoot them in the heart? You notice that the police aren't going to do shit and aren't even treating this as the murder it definitely is. You decide to personally look into who killed this old man. You begin by heading to AIPD HQ and interrogating Jason. "Hey Jason, how did you know the old guy?" Jason looks at you like you're stupid. "The old guy? I don't know anyone named 'the old guy.' What are you talking about?" You show a picture of the bloated dead guy on the beach and point out that he is laying on Jason's swim suit. "So you brought your clothes down here so you could go skinny dipping." Jason laughs. "No, we brought our clothes down here to get ready for the big party tomorrow night!" "What kind of party?" You ask. "It's a nude pool party! We're having a naked barbecue with some friends and everyone brings their own food and drinks." You laugh. "Naked barbecue huh? You ask again about the old man and if Jason knows who he is. "I'm sorry. Do you mean who is he? Why do you care about him? He wasn't one of us. He was just some random dude who happened to be on the beach." You are ready to accept Jason's answer, but then you notice a picture of the old man on the mantle. You say, "AHA! So you did know the old man! Who is he, just tell me the truth!" Jason looks at you funny and says, "Who is he?" You show him the picture. "This is the guy who was found dead on the beach today! He was wearing your swimsuit and his name is Jacob Meyers! " Jason explains, "Ok you got me! Jacob Meyers is my dad! He came down to visit me for the weekend and we were all swimming when he decided to take off his trunks and run into the ocean." "He ran into the ocean?! How crazy! Why didn't you stop him?" Jason shrugs. "Well, I guess he must have been a pretty good swimmer because he made it back to shore before we could stop him." You are stunned. You now know exactly what happened. The ocean shot Jacob Meyers ten times and threw his body onto the shore. You go down to the beach and attempt to make a citizen's arrest of the entire ocean. But alas, the cops won't help you. In fact, they say that Jacob Meyers was probably drunk and fell in the water and drowned himself. You decide to keep looking into the death of Jacob Meyers. You stakeout The Ocean and wait to see if it does anything suspicious or illegal. You don't expect much but you do hope to catch it doing something shady. But after several hours of waiting, you realize that The Ocean is completely innocent. All it ever does is feed people and clean the beaches. You return to the beach with metal detector and discover the murder weapon. You were right the first time! The Ocean is guilty and now you can prove it. You attempt to leave the beach and take this evidence to the police, but The Ocean stops you and says, " Don't worry, I'll dispose of the weapon properly." You are relieved and happy that you caught the killer. But you feel bad that you ruined the beach and caused so many people to lose their jobs. You visit The Ocean in jail. "I'm really sorry about ruining your beach and killing Jacob Meyers." The Ocean tells you, "Jacob Meyers was a terrible person. He was a racist and treated women like crap. You are shocked by this and you ask The Ocean to elaborate. "Jacob Meyers was an asshole! He was a horrible human being. He had no respect for anyone and used racial slurs against black people all the time. "When I told him to leave me alone, he called me names and said I was too ugly to date. "And when I complained about how he treated me, he slapped me across the face and knocked me down. "He also raped my sister when she was a teenager. "After I tried to fight him off, he kicked me in the stomach and left me bleeding on the floor. "Then he laughed at me while he went to grab a beer from the fridge. "I finally managed to crawl to the phone and call 911. "The cops arrived and arrested Jacob Meyers. But they let him off and didn't charge him with anything. I knew I had to take justice into my own hands." You sympathize with The Ocean. You offer to pay for her legal fees and she accepts. You drive home with a heavy heart knowing that you have helped to ruin the life of someone who may not even deserve it. You arrive home and are greeted by a bunch of reporters outside your house. The reporters attack you with a rapid fire barrage of questions: "How do you feel about ruining the lives of innocent people?" "What will you do next?" "Will you continue to investigate Jacob Meyers' death?" You ignore them and go inside. You decide the only way to make things right is to break The Ocean of out jail. You sneak into the holding cell and find her cowering under the bunk. You pick up the phone and call the police. "Hello? This is Detective Collins with the Los Angeles Police Department. Is this Officer Jones?" You say, "Yes sir! I'm here to free The Ocean!" The detective laughs and says, "Oh really? What makes you think she's innocent?" You explain, "She was attacked by Jacob Meyers and I heard him admit to it. "He admitted that he killed Jacob Meyers, but the cops refused to arrest him. "So I broke into the jail and freed her." "You're insane! There is no way that The Ocean did this!" "I know, I know. "But listen to me and please believe me! She's innocent! The Detective decides to look the other way and you and The Ocean live happily ever af ter. The End. Story Notes: * This story is based on the classic mystery novel, 'Murder on the Orient Express.' In this version, the victim is actually a woman named "The Ocean" who is falsely accused of murdering Jacob Meyers. Next time on "Freeing The Ocean": You are the last person alive on Earth. Your best friend has just committed suicide and you have nowhere to go. But there is one place left that you can try to survive. It's a small town in the middle of nowhere.