Loopendia, a scoundrel and drunk who has just been kicked out of his grandfather’s yoga studio

Posted under Episode 74, Story On By Chief

You swear revenge on your paternal grandfather. You start walking to your maternal grandfather's yoga studio.

> You walk to the yoga studio You walk towards the yoga studio. The sun is shining brightly and you feel refreshed after your long walk in the afternoon. A man with an unkempt beard approaches you. He looks like he might be homeless or perhaps even living under a bridge. His eyes are bloodshot from drinking too much beer earlier that day. "Hey!"

The man asks where the yoga mat he paid for is. You promise you'll get it to him.

You head down the stairs into the basement. There is no one else here so you take a seat at a table and look around. At first you notice several broken pieces of furniture scattered about the room. Then you notice a large black suitcase lying next to a couch. It seems odd, but then again this place could have a lot of purposes.

You open the suitcase.

Inside is a small leather bag containing two bottles of red liquid. One bottle contains alcohol, the other a strong smelling drug called skunk. Both seem to be common enough items. You wonder if they were stolen from some store. You quickly pour yourself a drink from both bottles. This should help you pass the time while you think through what you're going to do about the thief.

You drink the entire glass of skunk. Instead of drinking the other one, you pour another glass of skunk and drink that, too.

After all, you don't want to be sober when you return to the yoga studio.

You smash up some of the unbroken furniture, then you take an old yoga mat and head home.

Later that night, you wake up in bed. You remember the incident last night. You also remember that you drank a little too much and passed out. When you woke up, you had forgotten everything except the feeling of being high. What happened? Why did you forget everything? Did someone force you to do something? What will happen now?

You have a foggy memory of doing something bad. You can't remember, but the old homeless definitely convinced you to do something nasty last night.

It takes you awhile to realize that you've fallen asleep. Your mind wanders back and forth between the past and the future. How will you deal with this situation? Will you try to change things? Or will you simply accept them as they are?

You wake up and go downstairs. You pour yourself a small glass of skunk from the fridge.

You sit down at the kitchen table and wait for the morning light to come in. Your phone starts ringing. You pick it up. It's your mother. "Hello?" you say. "Hi honey! I'm sorry about yesterday. Are you okay?" she says. "Yeah, I'm fine". "Do you have anything to eat?"

You say "Stop begging me for food, mom."

"Oh, I know how you feel. But I need to talk to you right now". She hangs up. You sigh and put down the phone. You haven't talked to her since you were young. Now that you're older, you really wish you hadn't. You turn off the TV and settle back into your chair.

You there are two lines of powdered skunk on the coffee table. You snort those and then call your mother back.

"Mom, why does my father hate me so much?" you ask. Your mother answers. "I don't know son. Maybe because you're different than everyone else? Maybe because you weren't raised properly? Whatever the reason, I guess it makes you angry. So angry that you decide to hurt others out of spite. That's never a good thing".

You begin to cry as you start to inject liquid skunk into your big toe.

Your mother continues to speak. "Anyway, I'm glad you're not hurting anyone anymore. Just stay away from drugs and alcohol and you'll be fine. Goodnight son". With these words, you fall asleep.

You are shaken awake by your neighbor. "Stop shaking you, please.:.

He calls out twice more before leaving. You continue to shake until you finally collapse in your chair. You hear your mother calling your name. You slowly rise to your feet and leave your apartment. You walk outside and see your neighbor standing behind you. You tell him to stop following you and leave. He complies.

You have been sleepwalking. You open your eyes and see you and standing on train tracks in the dark.

The man walks towards you holding a knife. You scream and run.

You accidentally run toward him instead of away. He impales you on his giant knife. He yells out, "Woopsies!".

You die instantly.

You open yours eyes and realize you've been having another skunk induced night terror within a nightmare.

> You awaken You groggily wake up. You grab a nearby blanket and wrap it around yourself. You lie there for a few minutes trying to get your senses back. After a couple minutes you hear your door creak open. A figure steps inside. It's your mother. She looks like she hasn't slept well either. "What are you doing here?"

You point at the used needles on the floor next to you.

Her face is pale white and her hair is a mess. "I was worried sick about you". You explain. "So you saw what happened last night huh?" She nods. "I did". "Well, you shouldn't have been sleeping there anyway. The place smells horrible when people aren't around". Her mouth drops open. "Really?"

You say "Get off your high horse, mom. You used to get high on skunk, too."

She sighs. "Okay... Okay..". You stand up and move closer to her. "Look, I'm sorry that we didn't spend time together last night. I should've known better than to let my guard down. I won't make that mistake again". "No, no, it's alright. We can still be friends".

You offer your mom a glass of skunk.

She accepts it gratefully. "Thank you", she says. "Now, if you ever want to talk or hang out, just knock on my door". You nod and head to your room. As you enter your room, you notice some new items. There's a large bag sitting on your dresser, a box of tissues, and a bottle of water.

The bag is filled with old dirty yoga mats, time to make a mountain of skunk!

You become a skunk kingpin.

This article is about the Imperial Guard regiment. For other uses, see Raven Guard (disambiguation).

You decide to make peace with your father. You freebase some skunk first, then head over to the Potbelly where your father is assistant manager.

You apologize profusely to him and he forgives you. He tells you to take care of yourself and not to worry about anything. He also asks you to come back tomorrow to visit. You agree and head home.

You go back to Potbelly, he takes you in the back where he shoes you gallons upon gallons of Skunk he's been saving up. "It's all yours, son."

You feel great! You feel alive! You feel powerful! And most importantly, you feel clean! You drink it all down, but you need to rest. You sit on the couch watching TV. Suddenly you feel nauseous. "Oh shit!" You think to yourself. "My stomach hurts, I'm gonna throw up!"

You are overdosing on skunk.

Your body is going through withdrawal. As you sit there feeling ill, you suddenly remember something. "Hey Dad, why'd you put the skunk in the freezer?" You call out. He answers. "Because I wanted you to use it first. Now relax, you're safe now". You sit there quietly while you wait for your father to finish talking.

You climb into the freezer to ease the pain.

When you exit, you find yourself in a strange, cold room. It is pitch black. You look around and see a table covered with papers with numbers and letters written on them. On top of the table sits a small vial containing a green liquid. You stare at the vial as you try to make sense of this situation.

Without questioning anything, you drink the green vial and see what happens.

Your mind goes blank. Your vision blurs and you lose control of your limbs. You fall backwards onto the ground, unconscious. You lay there for several minutes before you regain consciousness.

You wake up in a hospital bed. You are surrounded by friends and family. You parents are there along with both your grandfathers.

They are both very happy to see you. "How long were you out?" Your grandmother asks. "A few hours, probably less" "Good job, kid. Good job". Your father says. "Where are they now?" Your grandmother asks. "They are dead. My grandfather died from an infection caused by his skunk addiction".

You the doctor enters and tells you that the infection caused by your skunk addiction is spreading.

They will die soon. "We don't know how much longer you can keep drinking it". You can't believe it. You never thought you would live past this day. You can only hope that your father survives. You continue to listen as the doctor explains more details about the disease that is killing everyone. Finally the doctor comes to the conclusion.

You continue.

"All of us here could die within the next few months. We will start injecting you with drugs so that you stop drinking the stuff". You are confused. "What do you mean?" "Skunks are dying, and the cure isn't coming. By injecting you with drugs, we will prevent you from dying and give you enough time to live until the cure arrives".

You die of Skunkbola, but your antibodies are used to save the rest of skunk society.

The plague is stopped. Afterwards, you are taken away by the guards. They tell you that you have saved mankind. They say that they wish they had done more. You are brought back to your cell. You are given a bowl of food and told to eat. You refuse. You ask if you can speak to anyone else.

You die in your cell of old age, knowing all along that the true cure for skunk is good parenting.

You are buried in a Skunk cemetery.