King Todd Howard’s Master Chef

Posted under Episode 0, Story On By Chief

You are 
amsey, a man who was sent to the chopping block by order of 
oward for being shit at cooking and sucking. You are in the carriage red crewpostor looks at you "hey you you're finally awake, You are in 
kyrim and I
m afraid that we will be beheaded for nintendo roms" You and red crewpostor are sent to the chopping block A voice says "Hey loser" You look at the voice its Veldora and she is the ex
cutioner she swing the axe at your head as You are on the chopping block but Mario calls off the ex
cution after realizing that You and red crewpostor are good workers as You are a chef and red crewpostor is a crewmate that can kill so you and red crewpostor are sent to 
intendo hq at 
kyrim and 
oward agrees after hearing the news so You are the chef and red crewpostor is tasked with fixing the engines and is your co-worker. The 
intendo asks you to make a epic burger which you make and the recipes is as follows:

Cheddar Cheese
Olive oil
Salt & Pepper
The recipe has all the ingredients needed for the ultimate meal and when done it looks like
So yeah hope everyone likes my story! And if they do please vote and comment and send me a message and tell me what you think about the story or anything else I've written.

You have all the perfect ingredients, except you forgot about the bun!  You look around and the only hamburger bun available is a moldy Burger Bun from The fanciest Restaurant Burger King.
 You laugh at how pathetic the restaurant is and take out the moldy burger bun and throw it away. Then you grab some lettuce and tomato slices and put them inside the patty before putting the cheese slice on top.
 Next you put the bacon and ham onto the cheese slice and then the pepperoni and mushrooms. You season everything with salt and pepper and add a few shakes of sugar. Now you just need the mayo and now you get stuck because you don't know where to find any mayo.

You receive a package for Jason from AIPD that got delivered to you by mistake.  It contains:

1. A large jar of mayonnaise
2. An empty bottle of mustard
3. A small box of ketchup
4. A tub of relish
5. Some spoons
 2 bags of chips
7. A jar of pickles
8. 1 roll of paper towels
9. A pack of cigarettes
10. 4 packs of matches
11. A lighter
 A bag of candy
13. 3 cups of ice cream
14. 2 bags of potato chips
15. 1 cup of coffee
16. 1 soda
17. A book

You use all of these items from the package to make the ultimate burger.
 First you make the mayo by mixing together one part of mayo, two parts of ketchup, and three parts of water until it's smooth and creamy. Once you have the mayo ready you spread the mayo on the bottom half of the bun and put the burger patty on top of
 the mayo. Then you put the cheese slice on top of the burger patty and put the bacon, ham, and pepperoni on top of the cheese. Finally you add the mushrooms and tomatoes and finish it off with the lettuce and tomato slices.

You deliver the ultimate burger to Todd Howard.  However when you arrive at Bethesda HQ, you realize that monsters roam around the offices and that Todd sits at his desk on the 100th floor of this dangerous towering castle.
 Todd sees the burger and laughs saying "This looks delicious, but I'm not sure I can eat something that's been sitting here for so long." You say "Don't worry, I made it fresh!"

Todd says, "Bring the burger to me... if you are strong enough to survive!"  You enter the HQ building and traverse the dangerous office terrain.
 You finally reach the 100th floor and walk into the room. There is a massive desk and behind the desk is Todd Howard who is laughing at you. He laughs "Come closer boy, I want to see the ultimate burger."

Todd hands you a jar labeled "Granny's Peach Tea" (It's actually a jar of Lex Luthor's urine).
 Todd says, "Drink this and be brave enough to eat the ultimate burger!" You drink the piss tea and you feel stronger and you hear Todd laughing. You approach the desk and see that the ultimate burger is in front of you.

You can tell Todd is testing you.  He is making you eat half of the burger first to make sure it is not poisoned.
 You are very hungry and you begin eating the burger. It tastes great and your strength returns. As you eat the burger, you feel better and better. You finish the burger and you look up at Todd.

Todd claps his hands.  You look confused, you thought Todd would be angry that you at the whole thing in front of him.  But Todd is smiling and motions for you to sit down.
 You ask Todd what he wants. Todd smiles and says, "I want you to become the greatest hero ever and defeat the evil Lex Luthor!"
You say, "What? I can't do that.

You think to yourself, "How can the world's greatest chef take out the world's most evil supervillain?"  Then you get an idea:

You go to your computer and open the internet browser. You type in Lex Luthor's name and click on his Wikipedia page. On the next screen you read that Lex Luthor is the most powerful man alive.

You scroll down and see exactly what you were looking for: "Lex Luthor's favorite food:
You say, "Peaches! That's perfect! I'll give Lex a peach and we can fight over it!"
You head back to the kitchen and pull out a big bowl full of peaches.

You inject the peaches with the most powerful poison know to man.  You knock on Lex Luthor's evil penthouse suite and he answers the door and looks down to see his favorite fruit.  "Peaches!  I love these, mind if I eat a couple?"


, "Go ahead."
You slip the poisoned peaches inside the pocket of Lex's suit jacket.
You turn and leave and walk away. Lex's bodyguards are standing outside the door.

You hear Lex moan in pain as the body guards rush in to see what is the matter.  Lex's body is swelling to massive proportions because of all the poison!  Then before you can even react, his corpse explodes and splashes you and the body guards with blood and guts.

You scream and run out of the building and you see the police cars racing to the scene.
You hear them yell "Superman is dead!"
You don't know what happened or why Superman is dead, but you know that you need to save the world.

You meet with the chief of the police who wants to question you about the death.  You lean in for a kiss with the chief.
 She is startled and pulls away. You say "What? Why did you stop?"
She says "Oh my god, you're Superman!"
You say, "No I'm not."
She says "Yes you are.

You then realize that the blood of Lex Luthor has somehow turned you into a super man.  You are Super Gordon Ramsey!

You have incredible cooking skills and you can cook anything. You can also fly, shoot lasers from your eyes, and freeze people with ice breath.
You now live in a giant house on top of a mountain where you have a beautiful wife named Lois Lane and two adorable kids called Clark Kent Jr.
 and Lana Lang.
Your children play together in the backyard and they like to build things.
One day your son, Clark, builds a catapult and he launches it at the neighbor's house.

The rock Clark Jr throws at the house lands in their backyard and opens a gate that goes directly to the 7th plane of hell.

When you arrive there you find the gates of hell are guarded by the demoness Satan and his army of demons.
Satan tells you that you will be forced to battle the evil Lex Luthor to save the universe.

You decide that instead of fighting, you will use your cooking to bring peace to Hell.  You cook Satan his favorite dish:
 Chicken à la King.
As soon as you serve Satan his meal, he and his army of demons leave.
You return to Earth and you tell everyone that Lex Luthor is no longer evil and you defeated him.

You meet with the Mayor of the city, Fartman, the ultimate farting anti-hero and seedy politician.
  You convince him to change the name of the city to Gotham City.
Fartman gives you a medal and you return home.
You then learn that Lex Luthor was actually working for the government and had been using his powers to spy on you.

You notice a note from Todd Howard telling you to do a epicer longer quest that novel ai better make the writer actually do.

You decide to go to the Batcave and try to catch the bad guy.
You then come across the Joker and beat him up and tie him to a bomb that blows up the entire town.

Instead of destroying Gotham City, you shoot it into space.

You go back to Fartman and explain that Lex Luthor was really a government agent and he was going to blow up the city.
You tell Fartman that you want to keep the city and name it after himself.

Fartman names the city:
 Fartman City.
You and your family move to Fartman City and you become the mayor.
You get a call from Todd Howard who asks you to write a novel that will be published in the future.

You agree and title the novel:

"The Adventures of Lex Luthor."
You start writing the book and you have Lex Luthor, the good guy, defeat Lex Luthor, the villain.
You then decide to add an epilogue to the story where Lex Luthor defeats himself and becomes a hero.

Next time on "King Todd Howard's Master Chef":

Lois Lane gets kidnapped by Lex Luthor.
Lex Luthor creates a robot to help him fight crime.
Clark Kent is captured by Lex Luthor and made to watch as Lex Luthor fights Batman.