You are showing a magic trick to a bachelorette party, when you hear a familiar voice over your shoulder. > You keep going You turn around and see the woman standing there with her hand outstretched towards you. She is beautiful and very pretty. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore a pair of tight white leggings that were so short they barely covered her knees. "Hi," you say. "I'm John". You continue. "What's your name?" "My name is Sarah". "So what brings you here tonight?" "Well I'm here because my boyfriend Ben wants me to go out with him for his birthday tomorrow night". "Oh? Why did he want you to go out with him?" You continue. The woman looks at you and smiles. "Because I'm his girlfriend". "Really?" You reply. "Yes, really". The woman says. "That makes us even now don't it?" You ask. "It does," the woman replies. "How old are you?" "Twenty-one". "Nice. So what do you do all day?" You show her a magic trick. "Wow! That was amazing!" You exclaim. "Thank you". The woman says. "No problem," You reply. "So how much do you make doing this job?" "About $400 per hour, but I get tips too". You explain. "Do you have any other jobs?" "Not really, no". The woman replies. You say "Let us have sex now, Sarah." > You agree to go out with her You agree to go out with her immediately. "OK", you reply. "We'll be going to the same place then". "OK," the woman replies. "OK, let's get ready". You walk towards the door and open it. A young man walks in wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. You bump into the man with the suitcase. He drops the suitcase, as it hits the floor it breaks open and tons of money falls out. "Whoa! What the hell just happened?" You ask. "A girl got mad at me and dropped a bunch of cash on the floor". The man replies. "What the fuck?! Who would do something like that?" You exclaim. "I dunno, some rich bitch from New York or something". "Where is Ben?" "He's still asleep". You Go to the bedroom and wake Ben the fuck up. "We need to do something about all this random money, dude.". "Yeah, sure. We're gonna need more than one car though". You leave the house and head to the next stop on your route: the casino. You show the head security guard a magic trick, distracting him long enough to pickpocket his security clearance card. You enter the casino and find yourself face to face with the owner. "Hey, I heard you guys were having a good time last night. How'd it go?" The owner asks. You take out your wallet and start counting out bills until you run out of change. "There's about $200 in there. Let's split it between everyone". You take the last $200 and put it all on '00' on the roulette table. Against all odds you win big. After the game, you tell the owner "Thanks for letting us come in, we had a great time last night, we've been coming here ever since". "Sure thing, it's always fun to play against the locals". the casino owner grabs your arm and pulls out a magnetic cheating device from your jacket. You are busted for cheating the casino. The owner turns to you and smirks. "Don't worry, if you want to get out of town again, we won't stand in your way. Besides, you're not getting a penny from me, so why should you pay for anything else?". You look at the owner and realize he has made a deal with you. You say "No deal." > You cheat again You decide to try to cheat again. This time you buy a few packs of cards and give them to the bartender. He hands them to you and you quickly count out the money. "See, I told you I could do it, I can do it better than that asshole!". You exit the bar and head home. You decide to start your own casino in the street. You name it, "Casino Place." You are terrible with language. You call it "Crazy Charlie's Casino" after the local drunk. You set up a sign saying "Welcome to Crazy Charlie's Casino" and you begin hiring employees. One morning you wake up and find the front door locked. You think nothing of it, you work late most nights and you live by yourself. Crazy Charley walks by the casino, sees the sign, and walks away sobbing. You lock the door and go back to sleep. You dream you are walking down the street when suddenly you feel a hand grab your ass! You turn around and see a guy standing behind you. "Sorry buddy, I forgot my keys in my pocket. Can you unlock it for me?" "Nah, I ain't got no key, it's locked". You wake up with your hand in your butt. "Oh shit..". You pay Crazy Charlie to wash your hand. He is your butler now. You walk down to your street casino, and you see David Copperfield, your arch enemy. He looks like an idiot. "Hello Mr. Carson, what can I do for you today?" "Hi David, I'm here to hire you as my assistant". "Well, yeah, I've done a lot of stuff, but I don't know anything about casinos". "Why not? They're one of my favorite things to do". You hire David Copperfield to make himself disappear forever. Years pass... David Copperfield has become famous as a magician. People come to see him because they want to lose their money. In a few years you have built up an empire. You have casinos all over the world. Your company is making billions of dollars every year. But you never forget where you came from. You use your money, power, and influence to do the biggest magic trick the world has ever seen. Your magic tricks are amazing, but you aren't satisfied yet. You want to be even MORE famous. You want people to love you so much they will follow you into the afterlife. So you build a huge pyramid structure, which contains thousands of mirrors. Each mirror reflects a different image onto a wall. You place the entire pyramid on fire and everything inside goes flying through the air. You turn and see David Copperfield. He is crying with jealousy. David Copperfield waves his wand and makes his eyeballs disappear so he doesn't have to see your success. David Copperfield begins to laugh. "I knew you would fall for it!" You watch as the flames consume the whole pyramid. David Copperfield laughs again. "Now that was something!" Suddenly, David Copperfield disappears completely. You hear screams outside. David Copperfield didn't die, he just went to heaven. You realize, too late, that David Copperfield was Jesus. > You continue A few months later you receive a letter in the mail. It's from David Copperfield. He says he saw the destruction of your Pyramid and wants to meet you. David Copperfield arrives at your house. He is dressed in black and carries a staff. "So, I guess this means you survived my pyro-magic", he says. You shrug. You continue to talk as you light a candle of the menorah that sits on your mantle. David Copperfield notices the candles burning and smiles. "That's right, you're not dead. Well maybe slightly..". David Copperfield starts to rub your shoulders and then moves his face closer to yours. His tongue slides between your lips and he kisses you. You open your mouth to protest, but before you can do anything, David Copperfield pushes you backwards onto the floor. David tells you, "I said I would come again, and I always keep my promises..." You are confused and scared. David Copperfield grabs your wrists and puts them over his head. Suddenly, David Copperfield releases you and you run out the door screaming. The police arrive soon afterwards. You tell them what happened and how David Copperfield killed you. They take you to the hospital. There you learn that David Copperfield killed you. You wake up in a field. David is standing next to you. You realize he has brought you back to life. He puts your hand on his crotch. "He is risen," he tells you. "But not too much. I need to get stronger before I take over the world. Now let's go back to my mansion".