You are Johnny Salmon, a former CIA agent who was fired when he farted on a field mission in France. The fart alerted all the guards to your whereabouts, luckily your Agent Partner Jeff Arrived to save you and help you escape. The CIA fired you and Jeff was hailed as a hero. You now work as a security guard at a Local swimming pool. Your life is pretty mundane until one day while you were working at the pool, a young girl named Amy comes into the locker room and asks for a job there. You tell Amy she can't be in here, it's a secure area while the lockers are being clean. Amy says, " I'm gonna take a piss in the pool." You say no, but she insists that you let her use the urinal. When you see this, you don't like what you see. You hire her on the spot and do a training montage until she is a full on security woman of your dreams. You then lean in for a kiss. You see a cute couple walking into the pool, you call them over to the pro shop and say you have something to sell them. It's a gold bar! The cute couple immediately agrees to buy the gold bar, and Amy drops from the ceiling to arrest them. The couple is confused and you tell then, "It was a sting operation, this gold bar stolen!" You take the couple to the police who are very happy to see you all. You take a photo of the arrest to show to your kids one day. Your old agent partner arrives at the police station with his own huge arrest. You look at each other awkwardly. You tell him you know about the fart, he's sorry but it saved your life. You forgive him. Soon you are all standing in front of the press. An attractive female reporters asks you, "How did you know that the couple were the Soho Slashers?" You all look smug and say in unison, "Because they locked the door." You get a text from Amy telling you to come home immediately. She says there is an emergency at home that needs your attention. You rush home and see her talking to a man. You ask Amy who is this man and what is the emergency. She tells you to look at hisshirt. You look and it says "NASA". > You say "What is NASA?" The man from NASA says that there is a threat from the sun, it is not today or tomorrow but within 5 years, the sun will hurt us all if we are still here. You reveal your troubled past. You reveal that you were fired from the CIA for a farting incident, this is your chance to redeem yourself. > You the man says " I know you're not qualified, but everyone else has Covid. heres your equipment" you open a chest to find the following 10 items:. You put on your space suit and prepare for lift off. The countdown begins, when it reaches 1, you blast off into the sky. You land on the sun and begin work immediately. You do the only thing a pool security guard can think of to do when something is too hot, you piss on the Sun. The sun melts into nothing and we all die because of it. You have saved the world and are hailed a hero. You fly home and make love to your wife Amy before the ice age begins. THE END The sun is cold now. The moral of the story: You should have let that girl piss on you.
Johnny Salmon, a former CIA agent who was fired when he farted
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