John Idiot, a Sim that eats the World’s Most Haunted Hamburger

Posted under a Sim that eats the Worlds Most Haunted Hamburger, John Idiot, Story On By Chief

You are John Idiot, a Sim in the Sims 2, and you live in True Idiots Neighborhood. You are setting up a business called Epic Grocery Store, which for some reason sells furniture, when someone named Foolka Fool setup a business called Wallkart.  Foolka is now your business rival and you must end his business by becoming the most epic business owner, but you are an idiot, so you must find a way.  You search for a magical book that you know can help, but the book is located in a dangerous cave.

The Cave of the Minotaur is not only filled with monsters, it also contains a powerful magic book that can destroy the world if read!

You have to get there before Foolka does.
Before setting out for the cave, you fortify yourself by eating the world's most haunted hamburger.

As you travel through the mountains, you meet other adventurers who want to join your adventure. One of them is a girl named Lulu.
as you introduce yourself to Lulu you feel your guts rumble. you say "I'll be right back, ate a haunted burger" and run off behind a tree to take a real spooky shit.
you turn around after wiping and see a shadowy figure watching you. the shadowy figure is shaped like a person but is entirely see through. you scream "WHO'RE YOU!?" the figure make a 'TCH' sound before saying "what the heck guy, aren't you gonna finish wiping? and what about your shit wasn't finished? i was watching the entire time".
You level up and gain the following ghost shitting powers:
Epic Ghost Shitting 8- The Perfect Shit
you pooped so much that you've literally destroyed the world as it was and created a new one.
Your world is now one of brown sludge and bits of corn. you call it CORNBURG.
others have appeared but you do not communicate with them as you are still taking a shit.
You reach the entrance to the Cave of the Minotaur.  One of the adventurers wants to go in alone. seems dangerous, but you also want to prove how brave you are and insist that he let you in too.
as you try to convince the adventurer to party with you, Foolka Fool rushes past you into the cave. it seems obvious now that he plans to steal the book and become more powerful than you. a chill goes down your spine as you pictured his future.
You find a skeleton in the cave and find a backpack left behind by a guy named Jason. It has five dozen sticks of butter.  You know what you have to do. you apply all of them to your body for protection.
you begin cackling like a madman and rush into the cave exclaiming "I'll be baaaack".
Foolka tries to grab you, but you are too slippery. Foolka foolishly tries to eat you, but his teeth cannot even dent your tasty buttery exterior.
you make it out of the cave alive. Foolka dies from eating a rotten corpse.
You look in Jason's backpack again and find the magical book.  It is a massive tome that contains every spell ever created. you read through it and realize you cannot cast these spells as they require intense studying, focus, intelligence and willpower.
you start by trying to cast an easy spell: revive a dead plant with limited brainpower. It doesn't work. you try to cast an advanced spell: casting another spell. it also doesn't work.
You accept that you are an idiot and use the book to prop open the entrance to Epic Grocery Store.
The moral of the story: don't be an idiot. also have a backup plan for when something goes wrong.