Jim Christ, prophet and Leader of the Church

Posted under Jim Christ, prophet and Leader of the Church, Story On By Chief

You are Jim Christ, prophet and Leader of the Church. You want to make everyone in the entire universe to worship you. You will do this by hypnosis and brainwashing kambucha. The only thing that can stop me is death or your own stupidity."

"I don't believe you," says a voice from behind you. "This isn't going to work! I'm not hypnotized enough!
You turn around and see Jason who has drank 4 times the amount to mind control a normal sized person. He looks like he's about to vomit.

"What?" you say. "Are you kidding? I've been practicing for weeks!"
"It won't work," says another voice. It sounds very familiar...
You turn around again and see Cory who hasn't drank any of his mind control kombucha. "Surprised?" he asks.
"Cory? What are you doing here?
Cory says " I heard there was free koonbucha"
"Don't drink that, it's mind control!"
"Too late" says Jim.
You turn back and forth between the two, trying to stop them both. You can barely speak.
You realize that in the struggle of Jason attempting to stop Cory, they spilled all the mind control kombucha onto you.  You are now mind controlled!
You realize that you are not as powerful as the hypnotist made you out to be. You lose control of your own mind and pass out.
The next day the mind control serum wears off and you angrily storm in to the Hypnotist's office.  The hypnotist reveals his name is Dr ReinDrob.
"This is all your fault!" you yell angrily. "I could have ruled the world if it weren't for you!"
Dr. ReinDrob pulls out his un-hypnotizing pen and stares at it. "Wow," he says amazed, "this is the first time it's worked so well"You see a talking mongoose walk in, Dr ReinDrob introduces you to Gef.
"Wow, that's an interesting animal," you say.
"You think so? You won't think it's so interesting when he crawls up your ass and lays eggs!" Dr ReinDrob says angrily.
Before you can even react, the mongoose has laid 50 eggs in your ass. You scream in pain and faint.
When you wake up you are strapped to a table. Strange machines are everywhere, buzzing and beeping annoyingly. A hot blonde lady stands over you, sewing your mouth shut.
Before she sews your mouth, you ask for her number. She gives it to you, and says she'll see you again when you get out. "Which wont be long," she says, putting you under again.
You wake up strapped to the table.
You see the nurse is preparing something you can see, you attempt to lean in for a kiss. She looks very confused. "No, not now sweetie" she says.
It's all happening at once. Too much is going on, you can't take it all in.
You catch a glimpse at what she was preparing, it is a giant syringe. You feel a prick in your arm and everything fades to black.
NOTE: If you got the Girlfriend, you win!
you wake to see you have gained the following appendages:
Girlfriend (Crazy)
You wake to see you have gained the following appendages:
Girlfriend (Crazy)
You level up and gain the following Crazy Girlfriend powers:
Naming New Characters After Yourself
Crazy Girlfriend
When you wake up, you find that you can no longer communicate in any way with the outside world. You have been buried alive.
You propose to your crazy girlfriend. She accepts.
You have twins. You name them Brian and Brianna.
Your girlfriend leaves you, fed up with your bullshit.
Happy new year!
You find out where your ex went to, she now lives in a shack with a hobo.
You visit her and learn she is getting hobo sperm pumped into her everyday.
You become a motivational speaker after your book "How I turned a failing life around and became successful"