Jim, an accomplished actor

Posted under Episode 114, Story On By Chief

Your agent calls and explains that you need to play a small part in a big film called "A Man Called Ove" (which means "Man from Earth" in Latin).

He says the role is very important, but it will be hard work and he needs your help. You decide to go along with this offer since you think it might be fun to perform for people after all. As usual you have no idea what's going on or why you're there.

You discover the part you are playing is of a rookie flight engineer who works at mission control. To study for the part, you sneak into a military base.

There you meet some other pilots who tell you about their missions. They say they can't fly as well as you do so they try to make up for it by being more skilled engineers than others. The other pilots don't know much about you, except that you're not a pilot.

You call your agent Tony and tell him to whip these pilots into shape because they are not respecting your craft.

> You time passes... Year: 2032 It's been five years since you left Earth. Five years since you first saw the movie "The Day After Tomorrow". It was one of those things that changed your life forever. Five years since you got married. Fifteen years since you had children.

You decide to return to Earth. A huge crowd is there to greet you. Everyone wants to know what your next role will be.

Your agent tells them that you'll soon appear in a new motion picture called "A Man Called Ove". He doesn't give out too many details, but everyone knows that it will involve flying over the Sahara Desert. When you arrive back on Earth, you find that the whole world has changed around you.

You observe all the ways that things have changed and repeat them to yourself outloud.

You buy five years' worth of birthday and Christmas gift cards and give them to your children. They are angry you missed so much of their lives.

What did you see? What changes have occurred in your life? How would you change it?

You say "Hey kids, if you were married to Mom, wouldn't you want to go to space for five years? Hmm?"

They look at each other and then laugh. Then they ask how you could know such things. You explain that you've seen everything that has happened and that you just thought you knew.

You find out your children have also become actors while you were gone. They ask you to guest star on their sitcom, "Tina and Tommy: Twinsters for Life!".

It seems like every movie you ever watched has come true! You watch as they get older and live normal lives. They even marry and have children of their own. And now, you see that you've lived the same kind of life as you wanted to have. But what happens when you die?

You your great grandson tells you that he is going to the moon for a school field trip for the day. You shed a single tear.

Afterwards, you realize that your life has never been the same again. You didn't see anything happen in your life that you didn't expect to happen. Everything you've done has turned out exactly as you planned it to turn out. But what happens when you die? What happens when you disappear from the universe altogether? This question haunts you.

You see Matt Damon enter the room and tells you "Everything's gonna be OK.".

A few days later, you wake up. You're still alive, but you feel tired. You wonder where you am. You remember that you were supposed to visit your grandkids today. You think you should go. When you get to the place you used to visit, you notice that it looks different. There are trees instead of buildings.

You realize Matt Damon has sent you back in time. You have a chance to do everything over, this time with surprises.

When you arrive in the future, you find that it has been completely transformed. Buildings are falling down everywhere. People are running in terror. In fact, the entire planet is in chaos. You run to the nearest building and see a group of people standing outside holding machine guns. One of them yells at you "Get inside!" and points his gun at you.

You get inside and realize you are on a movie set. Matt Damon is there, as is Jason the director. Jason yells at you for ruining a 10 million dollar shot. Matt Damon calms everyone down, then looks at you and says, "All the world's a stage," while he taps your crotch with his index finger.

"I'm sorry we couldn't shoot this scene right. I'm sure you noticed. We need to fix this. Now let's start shooting". As you walk away, you hear someone yell "FUCK YOU!" You turn around and see a man dressed in black wearing sunglasses and carrying a baseball bat. "Whoa, slow down there sonofabitch".

You realize the man is your son. He is a man now, but the little boy in him still wants to play baseball with you and play catch.

You hug him and kiss him goodbye. Five years pass...

You go to your grandson's christening. All is right with the world. When the priest dips your grandson's head in the water, the child screams and begins flying around the church. "Here we go again," you say, holding your hands in the air.

Five years pass... You are walking along the street. Someone calls out to you. "Grandpa, Grandpa!" You stop and look. The person is your granddaughter. She is about four feet tall, but she is very skinny. Her hair is brown, her eyes are blue and she wears a red dress.

You kneel down and kiss her on the forehead. You say "Goodbye".

She walks off into the distance. You stand up and smile. It's good to see her again. You call after her, "See ya next year!" as you begin to walk home.