Jeff Poppers, master chiropractor

You are the biggest chiropractor in Glendale, Arizona and you are not shy about letting people know that.

You Your wife Jillian comes to you and tells you that she is miserable in your marriage with her. She says she wants a divorce. You offer to crack her back, and it makes her happy again. She withdraws her request for a divorce.

> You leave town You decide to go home. You have done enough of this for today. The next day you return to work as usual.

You get a sharp pain in your back, but you don't tell anyone because you are afraid it will ruin your reputation.

The next morning you wake up sore all over, and realize you have been sleeping on the floor. You feel like you might be sick. You call in sick to work and spend the rest of the day at home. You eat some food from the fridge, but nothing else. You also drink a lot of water.

You decide to start selling crack instead of cracking backs.

You sell a few bags before you realize what you are doing is wrong. By lunchtime you are broke, and you can see no way out of this mess. You think about calling the cops, but then you remember how they treated you last time. They won't help you. You just end up getting arrested by them anyway.

A rival crack dealer attempts to rob you, but you break his back. His boss, Gus de LaFrumage, see your power and offers you a job cooking crack. You accept as you see no other option.

> You cook Crack You begin working for Gus de laFrumage. He has a big kitchen and lots of equipment. It's easy money. He cooks the best crack in town. Soon you become one of his top dealers. One night while you are cooking, you hear an old man say "I'm sorry" to you.

You turn and see it is your father, who is a third-generation chiropractor. He is very disappointed in you.

He tells you he knows you want to be a doctor, but he thinks you should be a chiropractor. He explains that if you do become a chiropractor, you will make more money than doctors ever will.

You tell your dad your really enjoyed this talk. He schedules you for three more talks in the next month.

One week later you are called into your dad's office. He asks you why you left medicine. You explain that you were making too much money and wanted to live comfortably. Your dad tells you he doesn't care, he only cares that you are still alive. He gives you a check for $10,000.00 dollars.

You tear up the check and run out of his office crying.

Your dad never sees you again.

You go to see your mother, a world-famous surgeon. She leaves an emergency surgery to talk to you, and the patient dies.

You learn that your father was killed in a car accident when you were ten years old. Years pass...

You look down, you have been smoking too much crack and hallucinating meetings with your dead dad.

You try to stop, but you can't concentrate. Your mother calls the police. A detective shows up at your door. He tells you that you need to take a drug test. You refuse. He threatens to arrest you, but you agree to let him search your room. He finds drugs in plain sight. You are taken to jail where you are put in solitary confinement.

You have been hiding several pounds of crack in your anus. You begin to sell the crack to other prisoners and guards in the jail.

You are released after two days. You are sent to juvenile detention. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to adult detention. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to prison. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to maximum security. You hide another pound of crack in your ass.

You become known as Poppers, the crack-stuffing crack dealer. Prisoners can't get enough of the crack stored in your crack. Your power grows.

You are transferred to the worst part of the prison: isolation. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to solitary confinement. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to the SHU (Special Housing Unit). You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to the general population.

The warden looks at you and is very suspicious that you've appeared to gain 100 lbs overnight, he asks you to hop on the scale and when you take a step up, all the crack falls out of your ass like a crack waterfall. The warden looks furious.

You are transferred to the medical wing. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to the mental health wing. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to the general population. You hide another pound of crack in your ass. You are transferred to the SHU. You hide another pound of crack in your ass.

You are called to the warden's office. The warden asks you to sit down. He begins to tell you...

THE END