Jason Mraz, Groundskeeper

You are at a baseball camp and you are the groundskeeper.  Your name is Jason Mraz. It's not your first rodeo, but it's probably going to be your last. You’re in the middle of a minor league season with the New York Mets when all hell breaks loose.

The sky goes black and then suddenly everything goes dark.
> yell to Tim Tebow to save the city while you go and roll out the tarp in case of rain

You hear a loud noise and then you feel like something has been jabbed into your back. The pain is excruciating and you can only hope that this isn't what happened to your friend Justin.

Your eyes flutter open and you see the world as if through foggy lenses.
> turn around and see who stabbed us

You look behind you and see nothing. You don't even know where you are anymore. All you know is that you need to get the hell out of here!

You run down the steps towards the street and then suddenly there's a huge explosion right next to your feet.
> find Will Smith and tell him "I think it's time for our Independence Day early this year"

You run up the stairs and see Will Smith standing on top of his car yelling at some kids to come over to play catch. He looks so happy.

He runs up to you and gives you a big hug.
> tell Will to look up at the black sky and swirling vortex.  tell him it could be the end of the earth

Will Smith: Hey man, I got news for ya…it ain't no good.
Jason Mraz: What?
WSM: It ain't no good. We're gonna die.
> "hey Will, what went wrong with Jaden"

You say "Hey Will, what went wrong with Jaden?"
WSM: Well, we were just having fun and he was being an idiot. He didn't listen to me and I told him to stop playing catch with those little punks.
> leave Will Smith to his own revenge story, meanwhile go investigate the explosion on the street that happened earlier

You decide to stay with Will Smith and continue your own adventure. You head outside and notice that the streets have been completely destroyed by the explosion. There are bodies everywhere, some burnt beyond recognition, others missing limbs or heads entirely.
> call the head groundskeeper and tell him the game is going to be cancelled

You call the groundskeeper and tell him that the game will be cancelled today. He says he doesn't want to lose any more players, so he agrees to cancel the game.

You go back inside and sit down on one of the bleachers.
> grab a big big big ass wad of chew and start planning how to clean up the field

You grab a big big big juicy piece of chewed gum and start cleaning up the field.

It's almost like you forgot about the whole thing. You wonder why you even bothered.