You are Gilly Pain, a Terrible news anchor. Tonight you are covering a breaking news story about Bongo the Clown, but you have a phobia of clowns.
"I am so scared," you say in your squeaky voice. "Scared of what he might do to me." You look at him with big eyes and shake as if something is chasing you.
You turn to your co-anchor and whisper, "I'm so scared that I pissed my pants. I hope I don't poop, too." And then you do.
It's not much -- just a small stream down your leg. But it makes the whole studio audience laugh. Your co-anchor looks over at you and smiles. He reaches out his hand to help pull up your skirt.
You slap his hand away and notice your producer is motioning that you are live! You quickly regain your composure and get right into tonight's story about Bongo the Clown.
The first thing you see when you open your broadcast is this huge picture of Bongo on your screen. His face is scary and he has big teeth like a shark. He is laughing at you from behind his mask.
You are terrified and wondering if you are seeing things. Bongo the Clown is right there in the studio behind the camera! You point and scream!
"There! There!"
The audience is shocked by your outburst. They gasp and look around at each other as they realize what you mean. A few people even cover their mouths. Some women start crying.
Bongo the Clown starts vomiting handkerchiefs. They are almost neverending and they are choking the producers!
One of them tries to call security, but the vomit keeps coming and covers everything.
You are panicking now. "Get me out of here! Somebody get me out of here!" You grab onto your producer for dear life.
Bongo the Clown drops everything and walks over to you and says, "Why so serious?"
Then he takes off his mask.
You scream and fall back against the wall.
It's Bongo the Clown, all grown up and looking very sexy in his tuxedo. He puts his arms around you and kisses you full on the mouth.
The producer of the news show tells the cameraman to stay on you and keep shooting, this will be the highest ratings this news show has ever gotten!
As Bongo the Clown begins making love to you, the director yells out, "Cut!"
Then the guy who was holding the handkerchiefs chokes on one and vomits all over Bongo the Clown.
This begins to melt away Bongo's skin. You notice that Bongo the Clown is actually are a balloon monster.
When he gets angry or sad, his skin pops and tears begin to appear.
As Bongo the Clown continues kissing you, your co-anchor points at you and screams, "She's gone crazy!
You nod, and lean in for another kiss with Bongo. But this time, WITH TEETH!
When Bongo the Clown's lips touch yours, you feel an electric shock run through your body. You hear a loud pop and then you wake up screaming.
Your name is Gilly Pain.
You are a terrible news anchor.
LOL! That was hilarious. Glad you liked it.
—Seth
* * *
After reading Seth's story, I laughed until I cried.
Next time on "I fell in love with a killer clown":
Will Gilly find her way out of the rabbit hole? Will Bongo the Clown ever get his act together? Stay tuned for more.
Hope you enjoyed the story.
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