One day a retired magician comes in to your shop to sell his old magic props. You go through all of the magic props and notice one of them is not like the others, it is made of real magic. You say to the old man... "Hey, I think that's my magic prop". The old man looks at you with surprise on his face. "What do you mean? It's magic!" You look again at the magic prop and then back at him. "It's magic! It's a wand!" The old man starts laughing as he gets up from the table. You see Penn and Teller, famous magicians, enter your store. They see the magic wand and are interested in purchasing it from the old man. > You tell them what it is The old man tells you how the wand works. He explains that if you hold this magic wand over water, it will make it rain. If you hold it over fire, it will cause flames to shoot out of the tip of the wand. "That's pretty cool", says Penn. You hold the wand over a jar of pickles. The pickles start falling off the edge of the jar. "Wow!", says Penn. "I'd love to have that wand". "Well, we don't have any more of those". You hold the wand over your genitals and then suddenly the penis falls into your hand. "Ohhh! That's sooo cool!". Penn holds the wand over a bowl of ice cream. Ice cream begins melting on the spoon. "How does it taste?" asks Penn. "It tastes good!" You hold the wand over an apple pie. Pie begins to fall onto the floor. "This is delicious!" You hold the wand over your wallet... Your wallet falls onto the ground. You hold the wand over another smaller wand and suddenly... A small tornado appears in front of you. A black cat walks across your chest. A little girl picks your pocket and takes your watch. A clown floats above you. A cow flies past you. A bird lands on your shoulder. A snake crawls under your feet. A ghost laughs and waves its arms. A spider spins a web around you. You see various animals and mythical creatures and spirits fill up the store. The wand is out of control! Penn and Teller walk away with their new magical wand. You feel very sad. the old man tells you "You are lucky because that wand is cursed. Penn and Teller will be dead in a week." and chuckles. Afterwards you decide to keep the wand. It is still in your possession today. You put the wand in a glass case and charge admission for people to come and see "The Cursed Wand that Killed Penn and Teller". Your store becomes very popular with fans of the occult. People often ask you about your wand. You explain that it is a cursed item and that you cannot give it to anyone else without their consent. You warn everyone in the store "Beware of the wand! If you dare to hold it over your penis, your penis will fall off!" and you show them that your penis has fallen off into your hand. One night the witch Doctor comes in to your store. You tell him that you can no longer afford to pay him. The witch doctor tells you that he'll take care of everything himself. He explains that he can turn you into a frog or a rat. He also shows you a box and tells you to open it. Inside is a potion which turns you into something else. You take a chance and drink the potion and it turns you into a frog. You live happily ever after with the frog family until one day they get sick of you. all of the frogs make fun of you because your penis fell off. You hate being a frog. Then a giant rat comes in and eats all of the frogs. You are very angry. Then a ghost comes in and eats all of the rats. You are very scared. Finally a giant worm comes in and eats all of the ghosts. You are very happy.
Henry Wizzlesnaps, owner of a magic shop that buys and sells magic wares
Posted under Episode 144, Story On By Chief