You are the Great Fernando, a mischievous magician. One evening, you're performing magic tricks for a rough crowd. The first few tricks don't impress the crowd. You say, "Ladies and gentleman, I've saved my best trick for last." You magically transport turds into the pants of a guy in the crowd. The crowd bursts in laughter and applause. After that, your audience is hooked on your tricks. They beg you to perform them again and again. Your fans become obsessed with the idea of having their own magical trunks filled up by yours truly. You leave the stage and tell everyone they'll just have to wait for you next show. You become known nationwide and every talk show wants to have you on as a guest. The number of people who want to meet you grows larger than what can be accommodated in your hotel room. In order to accommodate more guests, you rent out an entire convention center. As it turns out, the most popular trick is still pissing someone off and then making them do something crazy like jumping from a tower or being forced to eat shit. So now there's a waiting list for anyone who wants to get pissed at. There's even a website devoted entirely to listing upcoming dates when magicians will appear in public and piss somebody off. You are scared by how many people hate you, but you do it for the fans that love you. At the convention center you are having a great time meeting all of your fans until one day... * * * The man was standing before her in the middle of a large convention center. He had dark hair and eyes and his skin looked tan. His clothes were simple black slacks and a white shirt. The man was no fan and in fact was a fanatic of one of the hate groups against magicians. You saw the man as soon as he entered the conference center and knew he was going to be trouble. He had come to see you perform and you could tell he wanted to disrupt your performance somehow. The man moved closer to the stage where you were about to begin your show. "Hey!" the man said loudly enough so everyone around him heard him. "I want to talk to you." He waved his arms wildly trying to get your attention. People turned towards the commotion and began to gather around the man and some started to laugh at him. You decided to try a new trick: you made this heckler disappear. Everyone applauded! The man was confused and upset that he couldn't be seen. "Oh," you said. "Well, sorry about that. But I'm sure you understand why I did it." "What?" You tell the man that he is now invisible to everyone except you. You say, "Now, let me introduce myself. My name is Great Fernando. I am a magician and I have performed for thousands of people all over the world. Now, you can either go away and never bother me again, or you can stay here and watch my show. What's it gonna be? Do you want to sit down and watch or do you want to run away?" The man didn't answer. Instead, he walked back towards the exit of the convention center. The man went about his life cursed that no one could see or hear him. The next night he returns to the convention center and begs you to change him back to normal. You agree, but only if he agrees not to bring any friends or family members to the convention center anymore. You are very careful with your magic tricks because you know the man will return to cause trouble. The man promises you he will not return and you change him back. Then you say, "For my next trick, I'm going to make Jason from AIPD like birthdays." The man laughs and says, "Yeah right. How are you going to do that?" "Just watch." You make Jason disappear and reappear. The man is amazed. Then you say, "Now, for my next trick, I'm going to make Jason from AIPD like Christmas." "You can't do that!" "Watch me." You make Jason disappear and reappear. The man is amazed. You continue to surprise the man with your tricks and after several days he finally leaves. You ask the man his name and he tells you it's Marcus. * * * Marcus, How dare you interrupt my show! I was about to reveal my newest trick. You can't just walk up to a performer and start talking nonsense. You're lucky I don't kill you. If you ever show your face at another convention center, I will find you and destroy you. Sincerely, Great Fernando PS: Don't come back to the convention center. Marcus returns to the convention center hoping to make amends. But before Marcus can explain to you why he has returned, you use you magic on him: you make him invisible. "Whoa!" Marcus says. You make him visible again. "Holy shit!" Marcus says. "That's better," you say. You tell Marcus that he can come back to the convention center whenever he wants. Marcus goes home and is excited at this new information. He get ready for bed and then he notices that he no longer has a penis. Is this the price he paid for defying the Great Fernando?! Chapter 3: Rune Magic Your first audience with the great wizard comes a few weeks later. You arrive at the convention center and immediately spot him. You notice that he looks much older than you remember. He is walking slowly with a cane. You see him hobble over to the side of the convention center where you will be performing. You walk up to him and greet him. "Hello, Great Wizard," you say. Marcus bursts into the room furious. You laugh and say, "Oh Marcus, you will never learn..." but then you notice Marcus is holding a demonic spell book and is covered head to toe in blood. Before you can say another word Marcus curses you with the words: "Bane of magicians, May your power grow To consume every magician And destroy their souls." "What the fuck?!" you say as you feel your body begin to transform. You become a dark shadow. Your clothes fall off and you stand naked in front of Marcus. "What the hell are you doing?" you ask . "I'm a demon," Marcus say s . "My soul is being consumed by your evil magic. And you are going to help me stop it." "Why should I help you?" "Because I can give you anything you want. And also if you don't, this evil will destroy all of the magicians of the world! " You agree to help Marcus rid himself of the demon, but you are not able to do much as a dark shadow. You was the Great Wizard for help. "We need to get some light," you say. You cast your shadows out into the convention center and they begin to glow. The light illuminates the entire area. "There," you say. All of the lights explode and an army of shadow monster erupt into the convention center and overwhelm the Great Wizard. "Hail to the Shadow King!" Marcus screams. The monsters swarm around you and try to attack you, but you are too powerful for them. "This isn't working," you say. You make yourself invisible and try to escape out the back. "No, wait!" Marcus shouts. You turn around and see Marcus holding a dagger in his hand. You grab the blade with your own hands and plunge it into your heart. "I'm sorry," you say. You explode into a ball of light and cleanse the conference center of all the shadow beasts. Marcus looks to return to normal, except for his penis which is still missing. "I'm so glad you're okay," you say. "Thanks," Marcus says. "But now I have to go back to my old self." You embrace Marcus and say goodbye. You laugh and try to heckle Marcus as he leaves: "Don't worry, I'll be waiting for you when you get back to the convention center!" Chapter 4: A Demon's Tale You laugh and shake your head at Marcus' parting words.