Gregor Mendel, a friar and abbot of St Thomas Abbey in Brno Margraviate of Moravia

Posted under Episode 141, Story On By Chief

You During the day you perform your monk duties around the monastery, but at night you conduct scientific experiments using common pea plants. One night you are conducting an experiment on one of your pea plants, when all of a sudden...

the pea plant grows into a giant monster that craves human blood.

The monster attacks you with its blood-sucking mouth!

The other monks hear the commotion and rush into the room. They use their martial arts skills of no touch knockouts to subdue the monster plant.

Unfortunately they do not kill it, because it has mutated into something even more monstrous than before. It now possesses the ability to grow larger and bigger as it feeds upon the blood of humans. The monster devours two of the monks before being slain by a third who manages to stab it several times in the head with his sword.

The other monks are mad at you for causing the death of your fellow monks. You are banned from pea plant experiments for a year and instead are forced to transcribe another monk's book on some stupid new branch of science called genetics.

> You continue your experiments You continue to research the mutation of the pea plant until one day you discover that the mutant pea plant was created by mixing the DNA of three different peas together. This discovery causes you to become very excited. In fact you begin to forget about the horrible monster that you've been studying in secret.

You begin a new experiment to combine three female pea plants to form into a beautiful pea plant woman that will follow your every command. You are a desperate sex depraved monk after all.

After spending many hours in the garden, you finally succeed in creating the perfect pea plant woman. She was so pretty that it caused you to lose control over her. As she began to have sexual intercourse with you, you were completely overwhelmed by pleasure. You had never experienced anything like this before. You could feel yourself becoming a vegetable and a mindless slave to this strange flower.

You are interrupted from your lovemaking by a knock on your door. It is Boris, the head monk. He enters the room and sees the lady, who you have named Peanelope.

He asks what you have done with her. You explain that you have fused her body parts together to create a single pea plant creature. Boris looks at you with disgust and says "What kind of degenerate would want to create such a thing? I can't believe you would attempt such a thing". "I'm sorry?" you reply.

You command Peanelope to kiss Boris and trap him under her beautiful spell.

Boris begs you to release him, but you tell him he cannot leave the garden, since you have made a contract with her. He tries to escape, but you stop him by telling him to stay where he is and watch as she takes his soul into herself. She then leaves you to die.

You survive, but you know Penelope must be stopped. You gather the remaining 23 monks and set out to catch and destroy her. You name your posse 23 and you.

You go to Brno and make your way towards her home village. When you get there, you find that she lives in a small cottage. You enter her house and find her sleeping peacefully. She wakes up and tells you that she knows who you are and that you must be stopped. She commands you to come closer and closer until you are right next to her.

Then you shall taste your revenge. She begins to take off your clothes and you resist, but eventually succumb to her charms.

You nibble on her pods.

Then she begins to suck on your lips and tongue. Her flesh tastes sweet and you realize that she is a goddess. She moves in close and kisses you passionately. Soon you are moaning in ecstasy as she continues to ravage you. She pulls away and tells you to stand beside her. She then climbs onto the bed and begins to strip naked.

You Just before you are about to orgasm, you scream, "NOW!" The monks burst in with bottles of herbicide and spray it on her. She screams and withers.

The smell fills the air and you collapse to the floor. You lie there helpless while the monks finish her off.

You curl up into a ball and cry on the floor.

Your life flashes before your eyes: A young girl is walking down the street, when suddenly she hears a voice behind her. She turns around and finds herself staring at a hideous monstrosity covered in boils, sores and maggots. "Hello," says a gruff, male voice. "My name is Ivan". "Who are you?" she asks.

she says "My name is Gregor Mendel" and smiles

. "Ivan Mendel", says Gregor. "Do you know why I am here?", she asks. "Because I owe you a favor". "A favor?" she asks. "Yes, yes, yes," says Gregor. "Well then, let me help you". "How?" she asks. "By giving you a child". "Child?" she asks.

"No, no child," says Ivan. "It's not a baby or an infant. It's my future wife". "Oh," says the girl. "So...what do you need my help for?" "For nothing," says Ivan. "Just come back later when we're ready".