While your wife considers filing for a divorce, you look around the pyramids and come across a mummy tomb. You open the tomb and see a mummy. You start taking pictures of the mummy, but Brendan Fraser approaches you and says, "Don't do that." You ask, "Why not?" Suddenly, the mummy wakes up. It's alive! The mummy is back in its coffin! "What the hell happened? Why am I back in my coffin?" Brendan tells you to go away and he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He asks you if you want to go with him to get some ice cream. You say no, because you're tired. You ignore Brendan Fraser because he no longer has any power in Hollywood. You ask the mummy how he came to be in this pyramid. It says, "I was brought here by a Pharaoh and buried here. But when you left, I woke up from my coffin and decided that I wanted to visit the outside world again so I could meet people". You say to the mummy "Brendan Fraser is looking for someone to go get ice cream with. You two should go together and become friends.". > You agree "Sure", you agree. The next day, you and Brendan leave the studio and head to the Egyptian desert. As you drive through the desert, you notice something strange. There is a large group of people standing on top of the tallest mountain in the area. You see the mummy is at the top of the mountain already. He is talking to a woman. That woman is your wife. "Awkward," Brendan Fraser says. The next day, you arrive at the mountain. You find out that the man and woman are actually aliens called the Reptilians. They have been visiting earth for centuries, but they were never accepted as visitors. Now, however, they think that humans are too primitive to understand their civilization. They don't like being told what to do. You ask your wife why she never told you she was a reptilian. She answers, "Because I thought you would hate me. And I know how much you care about me, so I just kept it hidden". "So what does this all mean?" you ask her. She explains that there is a great deal more to her than meets the eye. You say "I always knew you were cold blooded" then turn to wink at Brendan and expect him to giggle at your sarcastic joke. Instead, he looks disgusted. He says, "That's disgusting. If you ever do anything like that again, I will kill you right now. It isn't funny anymore". You Apologize to Brendan Fraser, but point out his severe attitude maybe has something to do with why is no longer considered for A-list roles. Afterwards, you decide to take a break from the movie set and spend time with your family. When you return home, you realize that you forgot to tell them where you went. Your wife says, "We'll all be fine. We can still make it to the movies even without you". You reply, "No, we won't". You console Brendan Fraser and tell him, "You want to climb Mount Everest, not live up there.". > You go to the Movies Alone You decide to stay home and watch the movies alone. After watching the movie, you go to bed. In the morning, you wake up and realize that you haven't eaten breakfast yet. You say, "Maybe I'll eat later today". A couple hours later, you hear the sound of a car engine. You listen closely, it sounds like your Subaru Forester running in the garage. You call out to Brendan, but he is nowhere to be found. You wonder if he had gone off somewhere to work. Then, you hear a loud noise coming from the front door. You run to the window and see a truck going straight towards the house. Your wife calls out, "Get inside!" and you rush into the house. The mummy, who is driving the car, crashes into the garage, where Brendan Fraser is sitting in the Subaru. Both cars burst into flames, but the mummy rescues both of them. You try to save Brendan, but he is dead before you can reach him. The Mummy asks if you want to see Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act 2 and you say yes. > You go to the Movie Set... A few days pass and your wife comes to pick you up from the set of Sister Act 2. She explains that you have been replaced with a different actress. She also mentions that you weren't paid well for your role. Your wife says, "This is terrible. I'm gonna sue the producers of Sister Act 2 for negligence". You hire a clambering spider named Milo Forsythe to be your lawyer. You sue the movie studio for replacing you. > You sue the Studio for Negligence You sue the movie studio for negligent hiring and firing. The court rules in favor of you. The Court Rules in Favor of You: You win $1 Million! Your Wife wins $500,000! Milo Forsythe wins $250,000! Milo throws a victory party for you at a movie theater. He records the party and promises to post it on the web, but he means his spiderweb, so nobody sees it. A year passes and you and your wife are living happily ever after.
Fred Bunkerstein, an eccentric guy named who has taken his wife to the pyramids of Egypt for your wedding anniversary
Posted under Episode 118, Story On By Chief