Finn Huber, a conniving farmer

Posted under Episode 147, Story On By Chief

You are messily trying to sell a used car at Caraboro Woods.

> You say "I need a ride" You look around and see that the car is in bad condition, but you still want to get it for cheap so you decide to try to sell it.

You scratch the car door when no one is looking, then you say, "Look, there's a scratch! I want a discount if I'm going to buy it.".

The man looks puzzled, he says, "What are you talking about? It doesn't matter what you're doing, you have to pay for your own way!" You start to argue with him, but he grabs you by the collar and shoves you into his car. He drives off while you scream and yell.


A few minutes later you come out of Caraboro Woods and realize that you didn't get a discount from the guy who drove away. The whole time he was driving you were yelling and screaming.

You call the farming police and tell them you've been kidnapped and left to die in the woods.

> You are found by the police You are picked up by the police soon after the kidnapping and taken to the police station where they take you straight to the interrogation room. They ask you some questions, but you don't know any answers, all you can do is cry and beg for help.

You are held on suspicion of first-degree conniving. You connive of a way to get out of jail.

You plead guilty and are sentenced to five years in prison. Your lawyer tells you that you will be released once you pay two million dollars in ransom money to the kidnappers. You protest that this would never happen since you have nothing to offer the kidnappers except your life. The judge agrees and releases you immediately after sentencing.

You call your lawyer, Jason Fonzarelli, Italian American AI dungeon Streamer and part time lawyer.

He gives you an address in New Jersey, which he claims is a safe house in case of trouble. You arrive at the address, which turns out to be a farmhouse. There are three men inside: a big bearded man with a goatee named Joe; a short bald man named Bob; and a young man with a goatee and a beard called Frank.

You ask the three men "Why are you three hiding here in the safehouse? Frank, you go first.".

Frank explains that he is a farmer and a good friend of Joe's. He wants to stay with Joe because he thinks the other two might betray him if they hear he has gone to live with Joe. Bob goes next and tells you that he is afraid of Bob. Joe asks why and he replies "Because Bob is my brother-in-law".

Joe says he will not leave Bob alone and he needs to protect himself. Frank then goes next and says he is afraid of Frank. Frank says he knows Joe is planning to kill him and he will also be killed. Joe says he does not care what Frank does and that Frank should just stay with Joe until he gets back.

You ask "Would anyone like to join me in a game of Russian Roulette?".

> Yes Bob says yes, you both head upstairs to the basement where you play Russian Roulette. After each shot you say something along the lines of "Goodbye Bob, we'll meet again in a better world".. Frank shoots himself before shooting Bob, leaving him dead.

You say "Joe? Want to play next?"

> No Joe declines saying he has to clean up the bodies. You decide to play another round of Russian Roulette. After playing another round of Russian Roulette, you and Joe agree to play a third game, but this time you choose someone else to play against. You pick Frank, the man who told you he had a brother-in-law.

Jason the lawyer calls you and tells you to do anything you want except play Russian roulette. You hang up and continue to play Russian Roulette with Frank.

After each shot you say something along the lines of "Goodbye Frank, we'll meet again in a better world".. Frank shoots himself before shooting you, leaving you dead.

You are buried in the used car you wanted so badly in life.

Years pass... In 2070, you wake up in a hospital bed. A nurse comes in and sees your name tag and asks you what happened. You explain everything to her. She takes you to a large white room and tells you that you are in the psychiatric ward of the hospital. She hands you a clipboard and asks you to fill it out.