Jack Stevenson a deliveryman and man of the people

Posted under Episode 96, Story On By Chief

You are Jack Stevenson a deliveryman.  You are a man of the people.

One day, you and one of your co-workers are dragging a TV, that's very giant and heavy, out of your delivery truck. While the two of you are picking-up the TV, you get distracted by the sight of a pretty woman. You're so distracted, that you lose your grip on the TV. The TV falls to the ground. Your co-worker picks up the broken TV and throws it at your head.

It hits you in the face, knocking you unconscious.

You When you wake up, you discover you have been transported to the world of television, a universe of different TV shows. You try to figure out what show you are in.

It is then that you realize that this is not reality. This is just an illusion created by some computer program. A program that has now been corrupted by human greed and stupidity. Your life begins when you receive a call from your boss saying he wants to see you immediately. He says he needs you as soon as possible because there is going to be an emergency meeting of all the executives.

You look into the mirror, you are Magnum P.I.. You have a good mustache and are a private detective in Hawaii who drives a Ferrari 308. You walk into your boss's office, his name is Higgins, and he has a hot new case for you to investigate.

It involves a group of men who are being held hostage by a drug lord named "El Gordo". They say they will kill everyone if their demands aren't met.

You say "What are your demands?"

> You let them live "Let them live". You reply. "They've done nothing wrong". The next few days are filled with phone calls, meetings and negotiations. Finally, after months of negotiation, the hostages agree to release El Gordo in exchange for $1 million dollars. Your job is over. Your life has begun.

You Your show is canceled and your are tranported to another TV world. You are a billionaire orphan who wants to fight crime.

Your show is called "The Super Hero Show" and you are the first superhero. You are a young boy who was born without parents or a father. As a child, you were abandoned by your mother and grew up alone. Years later, a mysterious force causes you to grow old and die. However, you reincarnate as a super hero and fight crime in this new world.

You have super healing abilities and never grow old. The people of Rotham Township call you "Rat with Wings Boy.".

Comptroller Gordon calls you on a yellow phone. He informs you a criminal calls the Trickster is causing havoc in Rotham Township. He has found a way to take mind control the rats.

It would appear that the Trickster may be planning something big...

You hear a hoard of rats outside, you look out the window and see they are carrying all the pizza in the town to the Trickster's Comedy Club.

It seems like he is trying to gain power by using the rats. You think about calling Gordon and telling him to send more cops, but you don't want to risk getting caught. You decide to go back inside and watch the show. You are watching your favorite TV show when suddenly the lights flicker on. You turn around and find yourself in the middle of a movie!

You realize the Trickster has tricked you, but good. You call on your sidekick, Wren, to help you. He swings into the room and says he loves you, platonically.

Wren tells you the Trickster is playing a movie on a projector screen behind you, which is slowly turning the house into a movie set. He also mentions that the Trickster is also controlling the rats in the basement. You rush downstairs and see the Rat Patrol chasing the rats.

You change into your alter ego, Spruce Payne, and put on your glasses, which block the Trickster's projector rays. "Quick Wren -- let's get downstairs and unionize the Rat Patrol to break the Trickster's grip on them!".

You run upstairs and join the Rat Patrol. As you approach the front door, you feel a powerful wave of negative energy come through the wall. It knocks you down. You are still conscious and you see a rat scurrying away. You grab it and throw it outside where it dies. Now you can finally relax.

You resist the wave of negative energy by telling yourself positive self affirmations like "I'm good enough", "I am a real superhero", "I am just as good as Batman." and so on.

You fall asleep.

You When you wake up, Robin is spooning you, platonically. "You looked so peaceful, I couldn't wake you up," he tells you.

You smile and kiss him back. Then you notice that your phone has been off the hook for several hours. You check your watch: 9:30 AM.

You realize you are trapped in a movie called "Brokebutt Mountain bottom". The Trickster yells cut!

Cut! Cut! and cuts the power, waking you up. You look at the clock again and see that it reads 10:00 AM. You tell Robin to call Gordon and tell him to send more cops, but Robin doesn't want to leave the couch. You grab the remote and turn off the television. Suddenly, the Trickster appears in your living room.

You put on some underwear.

"Oh no, not again!" he screams. "I did it again!" He grabs you by the throat and throws you onto the floor. He then kicks you repeatedly in the face until you are unconscious. You awaken to find yourself in a dark cave. A strange creature, dressed in black leather pants and a tight white shirt stands before you. His eyes glow red.

It's Chris Angel, he looks in the camera and says "Welcome to Mind Freak: The Movie!" You scream and beg the Trickster to let you out of here.

He laughs and says "No, you're stuck in there forever, unless you sign my contract now".

You sign the contract, but you are super smart and misspell your name so you cannot be held legally responsible.

> You enter the Cave of Doom! You laugh and say "Yes, yes, yes!" Suddenly, the Trickster disappears and you find yourself back in the living room. You pick up the remote, turn it off and lock it. You sit down and begin to cry. "What's wrong?" Robin asks.

You say "I didn't think this is where I would end," you tell Wren. "I just wanted to deliver televisions for a living."

Robin thinks about what you said. "Well, if you really love me, why didn't you just stay home?" Wren replies "Because I was too busy fighting evil robots and space aliens!" Suddenly, a large rock smashes into the ground and creates a hole in the floor. In the distance, you see a bright light.

You the TV powers on and has magic on the screen. You are sucked into the television universe and into another television series.

You see a happy family sitting around a table eating dinner. Suddenly, the screen goes black. Then you see the Trickster standing above you. He smiles and says "Now, you will have to choose between two things... Your happiness or the happiness of your friends. Which one do you prefer?"

"100% for sure, I choose my own happiness. A lifeguard cannot save others, if he himself drowns."

The Trickster turns his head towards you and smiles. "Very well, you have chosen the path of darkness..". Suddenly, the TV turns itself off and the screen goes blank. "Wow, I guess you were right after all," you say. "I guess this means I'll never be able to work with my hands again".

You thrust your hands into the screen, shattering it and cutting your hands beyond repair. Behind the glass is the Trickster's shocked face. The glass shards sink into his face and he screams.".

. ". Suddenly, the Trickster vanishes and you hear a loud explosion. The TV lights up and shows you a long tunnel leading underground. "That's where we are going, it's only a matter of time". You continue walking down the tunnel and suddenly you hear a noise behind you. You turn around and see a giant rat-like monster crawling on the ground".

You pick up the giant rat-like monster and throw it outside.

The monster is scared and runs away. "How cool!" you say. "This is a great place to live, I bet I could get along with everyone here". Suddenly, you hear someone calling your name "Hey, you there! Come over here, I got something for you!"

You approach another giant rat, who is sitting next to a van. "Come hang out in my van," the rat tells you.

"I'm Dave, come over here and relax". Suddenly, the Rat explodes and you feel like you've been hit by an atomic bomb. You collapse on the floor. You try to crawl under the van to hide, but the rats keep coming and chasing you. You start screaming and begging them to stop. "Please, no, please, no..".

You hear a high-pitched noise, and the rats squeal and scatter. You turn to see Wren, holding his rat repellant beacon aloft. He holds out a hand to help you up. "We've got a Trickster to fix, right boss?" he tells you.

> You trust Wren Wren is very nice and helpful. "Okay boss, let's go check out the other side of town". You nod and follow Wren into the forest. After a few minutes of walking through the woods, you arrive at the other side of town. It seems like there is a big park there.

You In the middle of the park you see a giant jack-in-the-gox. This is the entrance to Trickster's headquarters.

Wren leads you inside and opens the door. Inside, you see several rows of desks and computers. There is also a huge wall covered with posters of various heroes and villains from popular movies. Suddenly, a group of men wearing masks burst in. They look like they are in their early twenties.

You declare them a terrorist organization.

They call themselves the Justice League and they want to use the secret tunnels that run underneath the city. They want to destroy the Trickster, because he's causing problems for them. They demand that you give them control over the tunnels. You refuse.

You look at one of the super heroes who is actually Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat, and shake your head in disapproval.

> You fight back You decide to fight back. You take a bullet in the leg and immediately begin running to find some medical supplies. You quickly realize that you don't have much money left so you decide to rob a bank instead. You walk into a bank and grab a bunch of money before anyone can stop you.

You realize you are the villain in this universe. You bind your wound with hundred dollar bills and press onward. You are Rodent With Wings Boy. You have to stop the Trickster.

You think you're doing a good job until you are shot in the back by a sniper. You fall to the floor and die.

You are transported out of the TV universe. You wake up on the street with part of a TV sticking out of your head.


You say "Nice try, Trickster," you say to the giant "THE END" sign in front of your face. It dissolves, revealing the Trickster. You realize he is your delivery co-worker, and he has been all along!

The Trickster laughs. "So...you survived huh? Well, you made the right choice. Now, tell me, what do you know about my world?"

You continue.

"My world is called Earth and it is ruled by three super heroes: Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. They are the greatest superheroes ever created. We have many different types of weapons and vehicles such as flying cars, robots, tanks and more. Our planet is threatened by two alien races who wish to conquer our planet".

You keep reciting facts about Earth, until the Trickster's eyes glaze over. He starts nodding off. "Now Wren!" you scream, and your sidekick springs into action.

"What?!" he asks. "Tell him everything you just told me". He nods. "Alright then, I'll be back tomorrow night, I promise". And he goes back to sleep.

You slap his face until he wakes up, and you say "DO IT NOW!".

You go back to bed and wait patiently for Wren to return. Finally, he comes back around noon. "It was good while it lasted", he says. "Can we talk again sometime?". "Yeah, sure". He smiles and hugs you goodbye. You drift off to sleep.

You drink a ton of coffee from a locally-owned, fair-trade coffee shop and jolt forward, fully awake. The Trickster thinks he has lulled you to sleep. Now is the time to put your plan into action.

You rush down to the streets, where you catch sight of a large crowd gathered. A masked vigilante is speaking to them. A woman approaches the masked man. She appears to be a little nervous. "Are you the new vigilante?", she asks. "Yes, yes I am". The vigilante replies. "How did you know?"

You announce to the large crowd. "Hello everyone. I am your new vigilante leader. I need everyone here to chill out and go home. Thank you." and you bow with your hands together.

Everyone claps and whistles. "I'm sorry if I disturbed your peace tonight"., the vigilante continues. "But I assure you, I will not be making any trouble for quite awhile. Please come with me to my house"., he points to an address on his map, "and we will discuss things there". Everyone cheers and walks away. "See you later!"

You follow him home, bring a pizza so it's not too weird.

You eat your pizza and go back to your room. You start watching TV. Suddenly, you hear a loud noise outside. Then, you hear a gunshot. You turn the TV off. You feel sick and dizzy. You lay down on the couch. Your stomach hurts so bad you vomit. You start feeling very tired. You suddenly remember something.

You remember you are lactose intolerant and you just ate two whole cheese pizzas. Your stomach hurts super bad.

You throw up again. You lie down and close your eyes. You get sleepy. Suddenly, you open your eyes. You see a woman standing in front of you. Her hair is black and her clothes are red. She looks like a superhero. She grabs your hand and whispers in your ear "Wake up". You slowly open your eyes.

You are in bed with the female superhero, Red Widow. Suddenly, she turns into the Trickster and stabs you dead. He laughs and laughs and laughs. "That was a wild one," Wren says to you. He and you are standing behind two-way glass inside Snarkham Asylum. The Trickster is strapped to a bed on the other side, with VR goggles strapped to his face. You have fooled him into believing he controls this world. But you, Rodent-With-Wings Boy, have triumphed.

You have defeated the Trickster.